Looking Forward and Back

Fluffy is Only Cute Up to a Certain Point

2012-01-28T18:52:00.000-08:00

January 28, 2012

My fluffy used to be cute--cuddly, adorable. (At least that's what I told myself in my head.)Lately, though, the fluffy has gotten out of hand. Not so very cute anymore.

If I don't get myself in gear, this fluffy is going to turn into something akin to a Yeti. Not adorable. Not even a little tiny bit....Definitely need to avail myself of that gym membership I just signed up for, to find the cute again.

NHS Induction Ceremony

2012-01-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

January 12,2012

As co-advisor for the National Honor Society this year, I got to be one of the ones in charge of putting on our high school's Induction Ceremony. I'm really proud to say that so many of these amazing kids are not just in our NHS, but are in my class as well.Our NHS President, Miss Kaitlyn
Victory, me, and all of our officers.

Nicholas' First Winter Formal

2012-01-08T15:27:00.001-08:00

January 8, 2012

Three or four days after my camera was stolen, it suddenly dawned on my that the following Saturday was Nicholas' first Winter Formal. Both my sister and my ex-husband, both of whom know how much it means to me to be a historian of sorts, had offered me the temporary use of their cameras, and I can't tell you how much that meant to me. However, Doug also knew that no matter what, he wanted to make sure we got my camera replaced. He knew it was the one thing I'd really want to splurge on, since it's something that I use all the time. He took me to Best Buy, and we shopped for cameras. The big brother of my stolen camera was on sale, and we couldn't pass it up. I was ecstatic to be able to use it to take pictures of my very handsome young man and his lovely date at the Buchanan Winter Formal.

Doug and Nicholas, getting ready for the dance. It was really sweet to see Doug helping Nicholas with his cuff links and his tie. Am I a little emotional? Yes. Yes I am. I remember a Winter Formal many years ago when Doug was putting on his own cuff links and tie, and picking me up for our Formal date.Mama's handsome boy.

It was pretty fun, actually, the whole week prior to the dance, when Doug and I tried to impart little gems of dating wisdom to him. When your first date ever is a Winter Formal, it's kind a high bar.

"Even if you don't want to dance, dance. It's her first dance, too, and you don't want her first high school dance to be one where she sits in a chair all night."

"Don't forget that you have to budget for tip for your dinner. And tax."

"Take a toothbrush so you can brush your teeth after dinner. You don't want to slow dance with the girl when there's a piece of lettuce stuck in your braces."

"Have a few conversation starters already planned, in case you're not sure what to talk about at dinner."

"At some point in time in the evening, make sure you tell your date she looks pretty. She probably will have spent a lot of time and effort to dress up for the dance--let her know you appreciate it."

"Look her in the eye when you're talking to her."

"Whatever you do, if there's a t.v. on in the restaurant, don't sit facing it. You get distracted far too easily by t.v., and you'll stop talking to her."

"When her mom picks her up from the dance, be sure to walk her out to the car. Don't just wave and let her walk out by herself. Also, if she's cold, offer her your tux jacket to wear."

"Make her laugh, and you won't go wrong."

And to his credit, he didn't balk or get embarrassed, or even roll his eyes when we dropped these little hints throughout the week. He just took it all in.

Nicholas and his best friend, Edward.
Nicholas and his date, Pearl. (Pearl is Edward's cousin.) They all went out to dinner together at Red Robin before the dance.

I thought perhaps Nicholas might not dance, but his whole group got out and rocked out together.
When I drove Nicholas home, he said he'd had a lot of fun. Of course, he might have just been saying that because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. But his Facebook status later that night: WINTER FORMAL: AWESOME. BEST NIGHT EVER.

My little boy is growing up, and I couldn't be happier!

Hey, Batter Batter....Swing!

2012-01-05T22:58:00.001-08:00

January 5, 2012

Annual softball game pictures, courtesy of my sister, who was kind enough to lend me her camera since my beautiful camera apparently belongs to someone else now.

New Year's Eve, 2012

2012-01-05T22:57:00.001-08:00

January 5, 2012

Five...Four...Three...Two....One!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My good friend Julieann joined us for a very family-friendly celebration including cousins, Scattergories, sparkling apple cider, and homestyle version of karaoke!
This is the guy I want to spend all of my New Year's Eves with, til we're very old and gray.
As always, two peas in a pod--Devin and Danielle
Miss Bailey
Lisa and Laura
It's the Mayes girls!

Skywalk, Where the Adults Get to Act Just Like the Kids

2012-01-05T22:56:00.001-08:00

January 5, 2012

When the whole family was in town for the holiday, we piled everyone into the car and headed out to Skywalk. What a great way to spend the afternoon! The kids can jump around and just be kids. And the adults? We get to jump around like kids, too. By the end of our time there, the kids were still jumping like kangaroos. We, on the other hand, were recovering on the sidelines.

A Little West Side Story, Anyone?

2012-01-05T22:10:00.000-08:00

January 5, 2012

So--I thought I'd post some beautiful pictures up to ring in the New Year. I generally try to have my camera with me everywhere. It's one my hubby got me as a birthday gift, and I have been completely in love with it for the past year and a half. You know--my first 'big girl' camera. I absolutely love it. More accurately, I absolutely loved it. Because the night before New Year's Eve, someone decided they were more deserving of owning my camera than I was, and it walked out the door and disappeared.

We were out celebrating at our regular karaoke spot. A lot of our friends are musical theater-types, and some of us started bandying about new ideas for songs to sing. West Side Story came up. I love the music from that show! We could sing "I Feel Pretty," or "America." Who doesn't love that one? Little did we know, that conversation was a bit of foreshadowing for the night that would follow.

We had a big group of friends there that night--we were one of two large parties enjoying our evening. I had my camera there to capture the fun. At one point, my sisters and I were all up singing, and one of my friends was snapping shots. We were all having a great time, dancing and laughing. At the end of the song, my friend set the camera down on our table, and I stepped out to the patio to cool down. Suddenly, one of my other friends came running out to me to tell me she'd just seen someone from the other party walk out the door with my camera.

Oh, it was a smooth transaction. Apparently, one guy nonchalantly picked up the camera and deposited it at the end of the table closest to the front door. Another young man, the one my friend happened to see, wandered over the end of the table and picked up the camera and walked out the door. By the time my friend told me, the whole second party had exited the parking lot and the camera was passed off to yet another person, who jumped in the car and drove away. (Luckily, someone was able to get the license number as they were leaving.)

As soon as we all realized what was happening, my whole party ran out the door as well and tried to identify the person who had picked up the camera. Since it was no longer in anyone's possession, tempers flared. I assume the majority of the folks in the parking lot genuinely had no idea what had transpired, but they suddenly found themselves in the midst of a search for stolen property, and felt themselves attacked and falsely accused. It got pretty ugly very quickly, especially given the fact that several members of both parties had been drinking. Suddenly, there was yelling on both sides, and the argument came very close to a physical altercation. One of the other party even threatened to go get his gun out his car. It suddenly occured to me that things could turn downright dangerous very quickly if something didn't happen to diffuse the situation.

Honestly, I was in tears the whole time, not really just because I love my camera, but because I had just take all our family Christmas pictures on that camera. My SD card was full of my kids and my whole family, not to mention birthday parties and choir concerts. That's what someone had stolen from me--not just my camera. I told the manager of the place (who was valiantly trying to keep everyone calm) that I didn't even care if the camera got back to me--I just wanted that SD card back. It was a long shot, but I thought I would at least throw that out there in case anyone overheard and took pity on me and decided to anonymously return the SD card to the restaurant at a later date. (No such luck, by the way.)

By the time the police arrived, it really had escalated to a West Side Story us-versus-them showdown, with posturing and insults and high tension and emotion. No choreography, though. That would have lightened the mood a bit, I think. No rhyming lyrics, either. All of the frustration and anger, and none of the feel-good musical beats to back it up. Pretty much the worst version of West Side Story, basically. Eventually we all dispersed, crawled into our respective cars, and called it a night. The officer did, in fact, make a little house call to the address belonging to the car that got away, but of course he denied having the camera as well. Sadly, the camera has never been recovered. The only thing we're left with is a slightly uneasy feeling about heading back to a place that had been a little bit of a home away from home for us on Saturday evenings.

Hello 2012

2012-01-01T21:05:00.000-08:00

January 1, 2012

Some people think that New Year's resolutions are trite, cliched. They think they're doomed to fail by virute of the fact, I presume, that folks feel they have to make 'em even if they're not committed to them. Something of a fantasy wishlist, rather than real, true goals one has to work at in order to see come to fruition. The way I see it, though, is that a resolution is a marker--a starting point. Sometimes the course of the race changes along the way, and sometimes a flood wipes out the path in front of me and I have to find an alternate route, or even an alternate destination. I'm okay with that. If I set a goal, at least I have an initial map--I know where I want to go. And I'm certainly not going to beat myself up if I decide at a later point to turn left instead of right--it just means I'm open-minded and flexible (which are fine traits, if you ask me). When I don't even have a starting point, though, I haven't even gotten up from the couch to join the race. THAT certainly isn't going to get me anywhere.

Sneak Peak at Nicholas' Winter Formal Suit

2011-12-29T02:55:00.000-08:00

December 29, 2011

Next week we actually get to see the boy in the suit. I think he's going to look so handsome!

The Things My Girls Find Amusing...

2011-12-29T02:53:00.001-08:00

December 29, 2011

Chocolate mustache pops

Merry Christmas to Us

2011-12-29T02:51:00.000-08:00

December 29, 2011

The best part of Christmas is the morning, with my beautiful children and my wonderful hubby and me, all together, just us. This year was especially meaningful, since it brought Bree home to us after a semester away at college. The kids were sweet and goofy and silly with each other, which is one of my favorite things to see. These are the times I'm so proud of the good-hearted, wonderful people I've had the privilege to raise. And you know what? I'm proud of myself, too, for being one of the guiding influences that helped them become who they are.

Danielle has grown a little this year. Her hat might be just a little too small...
Danielle was very excited to finally get an iPod touch.
Bree is going to host all kinds of viewing parties in her room, now that she has her very own t.v. to take to the dorm.
One of the biggest surprises under the tree was Nicholas' official Belegarth sword and sheild. I think Doug was as excited to have him unwrap it as Nicholas was to pull it out of the box.
Doug got tickets for the upcoming Joe Bonamassa tickets from me. It's hard to surprise him, but I did it--he had no idea his favorite guitarist was coming to Fresno!

Mom's greatest gift? Happiness. See my smile? (By the way, Doug also got me a Kindle Fire and a Webcam so I can Skype with Bree. Those were also pretty spectacular gifts!)

Krepp Family Christmas

2011-12-29T02:50:00.001-08:00

December 29, 2011

Have I mentioned how much I love these people? The kids spent Christmas Eve at their dad's house this year, so Doug and I were flying solo. Our lovely extended family invited us to join them for their annual get-together, and we had just a great time. Our besties David and Carrie didn't even know we were going to be there until earlier in the day--we were so excited to get to see them for Christmas! Food, family, friends--seriously, the best kind of way to celebrate Christmas.Mama Carol's beautiful grandkids--Shanda, Marlo, Mike, Morgan, and Freya
Cheryl with Miss Marlo
We got Morgan, Marlo, and Freya huggable stuffed animals for Christmas. Cheryl stole a little hug from Marlo's bear: )
Freya and her moosie.
Momo hugs her teddy.
Auntie Carrie with Morgan
Dave with two pretty special girls.
Too bad these girls don't like the camera at all....
I just love Freya's candy cane outfit! The two girls chased each other in circles around the living room non-stop. I can't believe they didn't just drop after awhile, but they were still going strong even after most of the adults were ready to call it quits. Oh, the magical power of Christmas!
Doug and me
Two of my favorite boys--David and Doug
Too adorable!

Kelly's Got a Brand New Toy

2011-12-29T02:49:00.000-08:00

December 29, 2011

Kelly got a new toy.....well, sort of. In our annual moving-around-of-stuff-to accomodate-Christmas-decorations, Doug moved Kelly's scratching post from the front hallway to the back of the living room. Mind you, that scratching post has been in our home for I'd say two years, easily, and Kelly hasn't so much as sniffed at it--at least not after the first week or so. It's only been through apathy on our part that it hasn't been sent off to another home with a cat who doesn't put on airs about playthings. And yet, as soon as the thing acquired a new landing spot in the household, Kelly suddenly acted like she'd found the most amazing, incredible gift. She couldn't get enough! Here's a couple of shots of her playing with her 'new' toy.

Girlfriends' Get Together

2011-12-29T02:48:00.001-08:00

December 29, 2011

One of the things I love so much about vacation is that I get a chance to see my work girlfriends without all the papers to grade and the bells dictating our time. We all got together at Alex's house, had a little gift exchange, ate food, and just had time to relax together. And of course, those with little ones shared their babies with us for the afternoon, too. Gotta love baby time! These girls are a great group of people, and I feel so lucky to get to work with them every day.

Katie Taylor and Taylee Pope.Debbie Garner cuddling Richie Bragg.
Mo and Allison
Alex and Daphne
Victory and Daphne

White Elephant Christmas Party

2011-12-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

The Mazella's annual Christmas party and White Elephant Gift exchange.

Kenny and Liane MazellaJennifer, Valerie, and me
Doug scores at the White Elephant game (until Mook stole his gift a few turns later).

Danielle's Birthday Party

2011-12-18T23:33:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

Danielle's 13th birthday party. She has such a great little group of friends! The kids went in the spa, played a Who Am I? party game, and watched movies (and ate and ate, of course!) They stayed up way too late and had a great time: )

Lexi and her mustache obsession.... These are pretty cool sunglasses.

The famous Oreo cookie contest--move the cookie from your forehead down to your mouth using only the muscles in your face. If you've never seen it done, I suggest you put someone to the test and sit back and watch. Guaranteed entertainment!

A Little Spring in Our Step

2011-12-18T23:32:00.001-08:00

December 18, 2011

We took Danielle and a few of her friends to the new Skywalk that recently opened up in our area to celebrate her birthday. Wall-to-wall trampolines, with big huge foam pit to jump into at one end of the place. And yes, it is just as much fun as it sounds! The kids all had a great time, but I suspect we adults might have had even more fun than they did. Tigger was on to something, I tell you--how can you not smile when you're bouncy and pouncy? Fun fun fun!

A.P. Celebration

2011-12-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

The A.P. Lit kids get a well-deserved break at the Literary Food Festival....

Visitors From the Past

2011-12-18T23:27:00.001-08:00

December 18, 2011

One of the things I love most about the week before Christmas vacation is that all of the college kids come home, and I get visits from former students. It is truly a joy to see these kids come walking back through my door--I love, love, love these girls!

The beautiful Miss Bree, Miss Angel, and Miss Macie Marie.The beautiful Miss Ceci.

English Dept. Christmas Party

2011-12-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

Holiday potluck at work with my friends and colleagues. These are some of the folks that make me enjoy coming to work each day. However, it's probably no exaggeration to say that on this day, Friday before Christmas vacation with only one class left to go, we were all at least as ready to head out those doors as the kids were.

Marshall, Jean, Bryan
Kathleen and Laura
Victory, Allison, and me.

December 18, 2011

Fa La La La La

2011-12-18T23:21:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

One of my favorite traditions--pulling out all the old ornaments, embodiments of Christmases past, and hanging them on this year's tree. I love that all of the ornaments are unique, special--they all tell their own story, for us to re-live and share each year.

The Coolest Trophy

2011-12-18T23:20:00.001-08:00

December 18, 2011

The robotics team that Nicholas mentored this year got him a trophy in thanks for his participation and hard work this season. I'm pretty sure this is the coolest trophy in our house right now.

Singing in the Season

2011-12-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2011

It's that time of year again--the annual Christmas concert. Band, choir, and orchestra celebrating the season together. On the minus side, this one's in the gym, with less than ideal seating. On the plus side, they keep the concert rolling right along, and they sing familiar songs (instead of the random Latin songs they sing for the festival concerts). It's always amazing how much improvement goes on between the elementary and junior high years. Those kids sounded pretty good!
The fabulous choir director, Mrs. Barbour.

On the Other Side of the Lego Fence

2011-12-15T15:46:00.000-08:00

December 15, 2011Nicholas has been involved in Lego Robotics (FLL) since 4th grade, and it's been something that has given him such great opportunities to grow and mature. This organization helped him develop teamwork, creativity, focus, dedication, and communication skills, just to name a few things. He's also forged some pretty solid friendships with his teammates through the years. Now that he's in high school, robotics has moved from Legos (model-sized robots) to full-sized, fully formed robots. Our high school has a very large and active organization, with the juniors and seniors taking lead, while the underclassmen serve as essentially apprentices, learning the ropes and assisting when they can. In addition to learning about the transition from Lego robots to the bigger ones, the younger kids are often asked if they might be willing to mentor an elementary Lego team, since they have experience in that arena. When Nicholas was asked if he was interested, he jumped at the chance.

I wondered how Nicholas would do. He hadn't had much practice in the role of mentor, and as a teacher, I myself have pretty direct knowledge of how difficult it can sometimes be to help kids retain focus and energy for a sustained period of time, particularly when that group of kids is comprised of a large handful of ten-year-old boys. Since I didn't attend any of those robotics practices, I didn't really know how he was faring with his group of boys, other than Nicholas' assertions every week that things were going pretty well.

After a couple of months of weekly practice, the big state competition was upon them. Early on a Saturday morning in December, I drove Nicholas to the school for the big day. He proudly showed off his t-shirt, which was a gift from his young students--an honorary team shirt. He said, "Mom, I hope my kids do well today. They're really nice boys, and they worked really hard." I was touched by his maturity, and his investment in these kids. And while they didn't win, his team did, in fact, fare very well in the competition. He was a proud young man, and I was a very proud mama that day. Imagine how much prouder I was when a week or so later I received an email from the high school robotics coach. The elementary coach who had worked with the team Nicholas mentored took the time to send the high school coach an email expressing praise and gratitude for Nicholas' involvement with the team. His coach forwarded it to me (and the principal of the school as well) and I must say, just reading it made me teary with emotion. My little boy is certainly growing up.

Here's the email he sent:

Mr. Lake,

My name is Henry Fierro and I am writing to you about Nick Lutjens and his willingness to be a mentor for my robotic's team. I just finished my first year as a robotics coach for a group of Copper Hill's students (including my son) under the team name CH-600. Overall, my team and I had a great experience with the program and the Central Vally Championship Tournament. Back in September I inquired if my team could be connected with a mentor given my very limited understanding of the program. Through correspondences with CV Robotics (CART) and Benjamin Wong, Nick came forward to offer his assistance to my team.

Nick demonstarted a commitment to attend all our meetings in November (3-4 hours each Wednesday) and our last meeting in the first week of December. Nick was truly a valuable source of knowledge during his time with my team. He also has a wonderful personality that allowed him to connect very well with my team; as one student shared with me, "Nick's really cool to work with." Nick's efforts truly helped foster my team's interest and success in the program.

My intent of this correspondence is to express my appreciation of Nick's time with my team. I have to believe he made time for my team on top of a very busy school workload.

Please share my correspondence with your associates that follow Nick's advancement through Buchanan High.

Sincerely,

Henry Fierro
Team CH-600

Danielle's Soccer Team Pictures 2011

2011-12-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

December 15, 2011

Laser Quest Birthday Party

2011-12-11T22:35:00.001-08:00

December 11, 2011

For the fifth year in a row, Nicholas decided to spend his birthday party at Laser Quest. And, for the fifth year in a row, he was joined by some of the very same kids who were there the first time he had a party there--Robbie, Mikey, Edward, Ryan, and Colin. These are good boys who have remained pals throughout the years; I'm so glad they have all stayed close.
Danielle, all decked out in her ninja gear for laser tag. She likes to go all-out.

Killing a little time before the next laser round begins.
Delightful and colorful cupcakes.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

2011-12-11T22:29:00.001-08:00

December 11, 2011

Our good friends Jennifer and Rick hosted an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year. There was quite the collection of contenders, but Kris took the prize with this 'extra frosty' sweater, complete with strategically placed protruding carrots. It's definitely an eye-catching look!Rock Band concert in the living room.

Doug's sweater was actually a sweatshirt made by Brianna for her 1st grade winter program. It's an adorable sweatshirt, and she looked darling in it when she wore it, but on Doug--a grown man--it becomes an acceptable entry into the Ugly Sweater contest. (No offense intended, Bree and Mrs. Olivas!)
Lianne and Jennifer. Jennifer is a wonderful hostess, and all the food she made for the party was fantastic.
The girls--Rosa, me, Jennifer, and Lianne

Swimming Left When the World Swims Right

2011-12-09T14:56:00.000-08:00

December 9, 2011

There are lots of fish in the sea—thousands of them. They vary in size and color and temperament and habit, but they’re all out there, swimming in the sea—you know, propelling themselves along with their fins and tails, and co-habitating with the other fish in their vicinity. They know other fish. They get other fish. They know that some of the fish out there are predators, and some are prey. They know which fish they have a symbiotic relationship with—the ones you might call friends, even if they don’t run around in the same school.

So there they are, swimming around, doin’ their own fishy thing. It comes naturally to them. They don’t worry about belonging; they’re surrounded by lots of fish just like them. They fit in; they know where they stand with one another, so to speak.

Let’s say in the midst of all of these beautiful fish is a sea turtle. Now, sea turtles are wonderful creatures in their own right. Unique. Beautiful. Just not fish. They swim in their own way; they do their own thing. They swim with the fish, but not really with the fish. So here’s this turtle—a very cool turtle indeed—but he’s flying kind of solo. As it turns out, it’s not even clear that he recognizes he’s a turtle. He moves with the schools of fish, joining this one and that one for awhile, but even though those schools of fish have very highly developed means of communicating with one another, the turtle never can quite catch on. Turtles communicate differently, you see. And if you don’t even know you’re a turtle, well, that can make it tough to understand why you’re not getting the same picture as all the other fish in the school. Why all the other fish understand that here is where the school turns left, here is where the school jags right. Turtle, try as he might, doesn’t always get the message. Oh, he’s clever, that turtle, and even though he doesn’t speak the language he gets the general idea of what all the other fish get. The nuances, though—those are tough if you’re a turtle in a fish world. But the turtle doesn’t know any other way to be than a turtle in a fish world.

Until. Until one of two things happen. First, turtle can find another group of turtles—all still unique, their own individual turtle, but a group, nonetheless. Turtles who can communicate, who really speak each other’s language. Turtles who celebrate their ‘turtleness’ and accept one another for that. With whom Turtle comes to recognize his true self. Second, one of the fish in the school our turtle has joined learns his language, reaches out, includes him, and begins to teach him the nuances of her school. Who lets him know that there’s no such thing as fish or turtle to her; there is only friendship among fellow swimmers in the sea.

How amazingly cool when, in fact, both of those things happen at the same time.

End of Soccer Season, As We All Know, Means Pizza Time

2011-12-08T13:09:00.000-08:00

December 8, 2011

Traveling Adventure

2011-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

December 4, 2011

On Thursday, my transmission decided to die, or at least give a loud and clear message that it had had enough. Most especially, it was tired of moving the vehicle in reverse. Since I am a big fan of cars that can go both backwards and forward, my mini-van and I are not seeing eye to eye. Here's the problem: the van is both a lemon and a money pit. It's a lemon-pit, essentially. I already put my foot down on spending $1500 on replacing the air conditioning last summer (it was mostly a financial protest, rather than one of principle, but it feels much better to say I refused to drop $1500 into the tin can, rather than that I simply couldn't), so to spend $2100 to replace the transmission is something I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around. I can almost hear the van smirking. (Serves her right; if she had just listened to me when all I needed was frosty air in July, maybe I wouldn't be quite so tired of the reverse gear just yet..)

Being a soccer mom taxi driver (for oh so many activities, not limited to soccer), not having a vehicle is simply not an option. On Friday, to address my immediate concern of getting the kids and myself to school, my grandma was kind enough to lend me her car for the day. It's not a long-term solution, though, since Grandma needs her car on most days. Luckily, my sister happens to have two cars--one that she primarily uses to transport the army of girls comprised of her daughters and all their friends, and one that's smaller and gets much better gas mileage for her commuting. As it turns out, her commuting will be down to a minimum over the next couple of weeks, and she can let me borrow that car to get me through until Christmas break. (I have the best sister ever, by the way!) That gives us a little leeway to figure out what we're going to do with the van, thank goodness. All I had to do was take the train down south to pick up the car.

I had never traveled by train to Lisa's. The journey is actually split into three parts: the first part is a train trip, then we all get picked up by buses to journey over the Grapevine, and then we get back on the train to head for our final destination.

The first leg of the journey was delightful--I had free wi-fi and was able to catch up on my blog posts, which I have been neglecting for a few weeks. The third part of the trip was also pleasant--I met a young college girl who was traveling from L.A. to San Diego by herself for the first time, who looked relieved to see a friendly face. We chatted amiably for the half an hour I rode. It was a lovely way to spend the half hour.

The middle section of the trip, the one by bus, was the one that was a little dicey. On the first leg of the trip, the train makes a few stops on the way to Bakersfield, one of which happens to be Corcoran. Corcoran, the home of the state prision. Home to such characters as Charles Manson and his ilk. I didn't think much of it, but I had heard that that was one of the stops on our trip. When the train stopped in Bakersfield as night was falling, we were all directed to various buses that would all end up in different destinations. I was relieved to see that there would only be eight or so passengers on our bus, so I figured we'd all spread out and have a peaceful trip over the Grapevine. You know how people tend to expand their personal bubbles in a situation like that? That's pretty much what I expected. I settled in and was in the process of sending Doug a text to let him know I was safely ensconced on the bus. Suddenly, I heard a voice from behind me.

"What is that? Is that that 'Facebook'?"

Oh man...I didn't see anybody slide in the seat behind me. I turned and looked in the small space between the seats. I could see only one of his eyes. Beneath that eye was the tattoo of a teardrop, with some words inscribed just underneath. I looked away quickly, a little intimidated. I didn't want to make eye contact long enough to read the words etched into his face.

"Uh...no. I'm just texting my husband."

"Texting? How does that work? I haven't been out for seven years. I don't even know what that is."

Corcoran State Prison suddenly flashed to the forefront of my brain. Seriously? My bus mate was a newly released inmate? And what was that I've always heard about the significance of teardrop tattoos? Wow. I briefly described texting, and then made motions to put on my iPod--universal sign for, "I want to be left alone." I mean, I was polite, but I was not trying to engage in conversation with this guy. Plus, there was a slight aroma of old alcohol, and the unmistakable smell of pot emanating from the backseat. Not strong, just...lingering. The guy had clearly been 'out' long enough before catching the train to find a way to celebrate his release. Unfortunately, the universal sign for "I want to be left alone" was lost on this guy.

"Hey--can I use your phone?" I pulled my earphones out.

What am I going to say? Uh...I don't have one? Clearly he already saw me using mine. So, "Uh...who do you want to call?"

"I haven't been home to L.A. for seven years. Imma finally get to go home. I need to make sure someone's there at Union Station to pick me up."

Even as I'm thinking to myself, 'What would I tell Bree if she was in this situation? I'd say Don't give your phone to this stranger!' I was handing over my phone. He looked at it, perplexed. For a dude who 'hasn't been out' for seven years, a Droid is a foreign object. I took it and put the dialer touchscreen on. I handed it back, and suddenly he said, "Hey, what happened? What's it doin'?"

I grabbed the phone. He had managed to hit 'last dialed.' "You're calling my ex-husband." I ended the connection.

"Aw, man, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You want me to dial the number for you?" He nodded, and proceeded to give me the number he was trying to dial. When it started ringing, I handed it to him. He had a brief discussion, during which time he learned the person at the other end of that call would not, in fact, be picking him up at Union Station. He asked me to dial one more number for him, and he was successful in ensuring he had a ride. His final words to whoever was on the line? "Don't forget to bring ma drink." Lovely.

He handed me back my phone, and I proceeded to try the universal sign again. One earbud in.

"So, how many times you been married?"

"Two."

"Two, huh? Well, how old is ya?"

"Forty-four." I still wasn't trying to converse with this guy. Short and sweet responses. Moving seats at that point would have been somewhat conspicuous. I put the other earbud in.

"Well, where is you travelin'?"

"Um...I'm visiting my sister. I'd better try to get a nap in before we get to L.A." Eyes closed, iPod on, cue visions of hostages and hijacked buses. Very uncharitable thinking on my part, but suffice it to say, I did not get a nap on the bus ride to L.A. Who knows--maybe he was a perfectly lovely man, genuinely trying to make a new start, a clean slate. Single girl traveling alone, though? I didn't so much feel like I was in a good place to give the benefit of the doubt and get too chummy, especially since we were all getting off the bus together at Union Station, and I didn't really know how much time I'd have to loiter about with my new-found friend at the station before my next train was scheduled to appear.

Also, just to round out the adventure, I realized that there were two other guys, also newly reintroducing themselves back into society, who were sitting just behind my new 'friend'--his buddies. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't see them until we were nearly at Union Station. They were both bigger and more tattooed than the first guy.

So what did I learn from my little adventure? Nothing much, except that I think I'm going to advise Brianna to find a kind-looking couple to sit near, or at least to sit close to the bus driver, rather than finding a solo seat in the back the next time she makes the journey from college back home. It had never dawned on me that the State Prison was even a factor for consideration, but I figure she'll be less likely to be approached by folks she might not be comfortable with if she doesn't look like she's alone. Even if it doesn't make her feel safer, it'll definitely make me feel better.

Birthday Dinner for Miss Danielle

2011-12-01T13:02:00.001-08:00

December 1, 2011

Is it really possible that I now officially have three teenagers? Miss Danielle turned 13 this year! She decided she wanted to celebrate her birthday dinner at Giuseppe Gallo's where Miss Krissie took great care of us. She even brought Danielle a special birthday gelato--I think a little birdie named Auntie Cheryl told her we were coming in : ) Such a fun night. You just can't beat an evening of talking, laughing, and great food. I adore our family mealtimes together!

Reflecting on Thankful November

2011-12-01T13:01:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2011

Several of my friends posted on Facebook throughout November all of the things they were thankful for. I like this idea, but I decided that I'd keep a running list of my daily 'things that I'm thankful for' and post them all here at the end of the month. As is turns out, I'm kind of glad for the opportunity to go back through my list now, since I need to keep things in perspective in light of my van's transmission going out. It's depressing to think how much that van's been a money pit. It helps to focus more on all the positive things I have going in my life. In the balance of things, I've got plenty of happy to outweigh a little transmission problem.

Days of November--the little things that make me happy:

1st--Today I am grateful for after-Halloween sales, because my hubby loves to spend money to dress up our Halloween yard in style. The only tough part about it is that he has to wait a whole year to get to use his new purchases.
2nd--Today I am grateful for the return of one of our favorite television shows--Top Chef!
3rd--Today I am grateful for finally finding Danielle's costume for her play. It's tougher than I thought it would be to find a drop-waisted 1920's style dress for a twelve year old. These are the times I wish I could sew.
4th--Today I am grateful for our tradition of Family Dinner Night. Even when times are tough, I made sure we were able to keep this tradition.
5th--Today I am grateful for having a husband who is with me at the sidelines of all the soccer games we attend, cheering just as loudly as I do for our kids.
6th--Today I am grateful for all of my girlfriends. I am blessed with a loving, strong, and dynamic group of girlfriends I admire.
7th--Today I am grateful for a husband who makes me laugh and smile every single day.
8th--Today I am grateful for a safe, warm home. It may not be the biggest, or the fanciest, but it is our home, and it's full of love.
9th--Today I am grateful for kids who are healthy and happy.
10th--Today I am grateful for three-day weekends. I love my job, but I also love and extra day off now and again!
11th--Today I am grateful that at 44, I still have excellent eye-sight. I went to the optomistrist today and got that confirmed for me.
12th--Today I am grateful that my sister has met such a great guy to bring into our family. The engagement party was lovely!
13th--Today I am grateful for an incredible extended family.
14th--Today I am grateful for my students, and for having a job I feel can make a difference.
15th--Today I am grateful for naps. Enough said.
16th--Today I am grateful for the wonderful arts and sciences programs that CUSD offers for my children to participate in.
17th--Today I am grateful for some great colleagues that I call friends.
18th--Today I am grateful for special one-on-one times with my kids.
19th--Today I am grateful that I am married to my best friend.
20th--Today I am grateful that I live in Clovis.
21st--Today I am grateful for a lovely week-long vacation.
22nd--Today I am grateful for my sweet and loveable birthday boy.
23rd--Today I am grateful Brianna had a safe trip home with her step-sisters.
24th--Today I am grateful for plenty--plenty of family, plenty of friends, plenty of food, and plenty of love.
25th--Today I am grateful for getting some good Black Friday sales.
26th--Today I am grateful for having fun taking pictures of all of my kids together.
27th--Today I am thankful for my sister, who is my best friend.
28th--Today I am thankful to have found a place to write and share my ideas, whether it's the big stuff or the trivial and mundane. At the very least, my kids will have a record of who their mom was and what kids of stuff the valued and thought about years from now (knock on wood) after I'm gone.
29--Today I am thankful the kids' dad and I have a strong co-parenting situation. Not everyone is so lucky.
30--Today I am grateful for my hilarious and generous sweet birthday girl.

Miss Frassafrass

2011-11-30T17:02:00.000-08:00

November 30, 2011

Little Miss Frassafrass. Hot Shot. Sissy. Velcro. Yanyell. Danielley. Daniella. Sweetheart. Of all the names we've ever called you, you will, always and forever, be one that you'll never outgrow--My Baby. Happy birthday, Miss Danielle. I really can't believe you're thirteen already. Where does the time go?

Saturday Night Jam Session at the Dome

2011-11-27T23:46:00.001-08:00

November 27, 2011

I love these people--hanging out with them is a wonderful way to spend a Saturday night!

Jennifer, Valerie, and me
Jennifer and ValerieMy rock star hubby
Doug and David, getting their groove on

Christmas Card Photo Shoot

2011-11-27T23:27:00.001-08:00

November 27, 2011

It dawned on me that if I wanted to get family holiday pictures, I had a fairly limited window of opportunity this year. Often there are two photo shoots to get the right shot for our Christmas cards--one where at least one child is in a sullen mood, or at least an onery one, and then one I schedule after hopelessly throwing in the towel, where we actually manage to find a good shot with all of them looking pretty darn pleasant simultaneously. This year, since Bree was only home from college for a few days, I didn't have time to do a re-shoot if I wanted all three of them in the picture. We'd have to get it right the first time. Luckily, the kids were in on my sense of urgency (they may or may not have been reminded by Doug to be as cooperative as possible), and I'm really happy with our results. Even though Nicholas good-naturedly grumbled under his breath just a little bit (he feels he can't be taken seriously as a dude if he doesn't grouse about family photos), and Danielle had to throw in the obligatory 'goofy face' every now and again, and Bree said to me at the outset, "Mom, you are limited to 100 frames and three scene changes," they all knew that it was important to me to get a good shot of all three of my favorite people, together.

Giving Thanks that My Baby is Home

2011-11-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

November 24, 2011

It makes me oh, so happy (and thankful!) to have my baby home for Thanksgiving. Not that we did anything particularly exciting--a little holiday meal, a little Black Friday shopping, a lot of laughing and chatting as a family. All of us together again for a little while.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-24T21:39:00.000-08:00

November 24, 2011

On the afternoon of Thanksgiving, the kids were all over at their dad's house. We try very hard to make sure that we both get to see the kids on all the big days of the year--Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc.--so we weren't going to see them until later on in the evening that day. While the kids were over there, we went to Doug's mom's house to spend Thanksgiving with his side of the family. I really enjoy being a part of a bigger family like this, especially since my own siblings are so spread out that we don't always get a chance to get together at Thanksgiving. I'm thankful to have in-laws who welcome us and include us as part of their celebration.

I think Miss Zoe is thankful she's got a cushy seat!
Doug and Jonathon, playing cards.
Doug and his sister, Lisa.
Justin and Courtney
Doug and his mom.

Lisa and Larry

Doug and his nephew Justin.

WarHammer Overload

2011-11-24T21:38:00.002-08:00

November 24, 2011

I went to one of Nicholas' favorite stores, Hobby Town, to find something to get him for his birthday. I know he likes the game WarHammer, so I thought, "Hey, I'll just get him a WarHammer thingie-I'm sure they have a couple to choose from-- and he'll love it!" So I got to Hobby Town, and I found a whole aisle devoted to this game--different creatures and hordes and armies. All manner of WarHammer-y stuff. It was daunting, let me tell you! I had no idea which one was a good guy or a bad guy, or which one was supposed to be allied with which other one, or which characters/creatures/beings were the strong ones. Were there any that, if opened as the grand birthday present, would make him say, "Mom, why would you get these guys? These are the underling serfs with no power at all! I'll be the laughingstock of all my friends!" (I don't know if they actually say these things when contemplating which WarHammer figure is the must-have, go-to creature. They might.) Luckily, I happen to have the phone numbers of two of his close buddies, so I texted them with my dilemma. His buddy Robbie came through in the clutch, and directed me through the hordes of armies to the right one. When Nicholas opened up his gifts on his birthday, I knew we had made the right call. Right now I don't have the foggiest idea what it was called, but I know it wasn't the underling serf, so that's good enough for me.

My Birthday Carnivore

2011-11-24T21:38:00.001-08:00

November 24, 2011

For literally months now, Nicholas has been fixated on going to Rio Grill for dinner. If you've never been to Rio Grill, it is an experience! They've got a great salad and sides all-you-can-eat bar and then all throughout the meal, severs come around with all kinds of tasty meats to serve--parmesan crusted pork, tri-tip, sausage, Brazilian steak, bacon wrapped turkey, just to name a few. They are all delicious! They serve you small portions of any of these foods that you like, for the duration of the meal. Believe me, it is an indulgence. We only go every once in a great while, but when we do, it really does satisfy the carnivore in all of us.

As good as the food is, an even better part of the birthday dinner was the laughing and the silliness. It's one of the things I love best about my family. We can be goofy and silly and fun--we love being together and being a family. (Lest you think that I live in la-la land, let me assure you that we are not all sunshine and roses. Sometimes we irritate each other. Sometimes we're not all in a good mood all at once. There might even be the raising of voices now and again--none of us is perfect. But the fact remains that we all genuinely like each other, and can have some great fun as a family--all of us. This night, celebrating Nicholas' birthday, was definitely one of those nights.)

In Which I Introduce Two Soul Sisters

2011-11-24T21:36:00.002-08:00

November 24, 2011

I love, love, love both of these girls. They have some really similar personality traits--full, beautiful hearts and spirits, fun-loving, loud, outgoing, infectious smiles. So naturally, when an opportunity came up to introduce them to each other, I knew they'd hit it off right away. Yup--I was right!

Bravo Cheese Factory

2011-11-24T21:36:00.001-08:00

November 24, 2011

On the way home from the Porterville game, Danielle and I decided to stop and check out Bravo Cheese Farms, a kitschy little tourist stop on the way back to Clovis. I've passed by that place a hundred times on the way back home from southern California, and although it had caught my eye many times, it had never really occurred to me to stop. I have to give credit for the idea to Doug, actually, would love to have joined us, had he not been called to work on Saturday. Of course, once he said it, it made perfect sense. Danielle and I had some mother-daughter time to ourselves after the game, and after all, what's not to love about a place that's all about cheese? I'm a big fan of cheese. Danielle and I got to do a little cheese tasting and wander through their shops and outdoor patios. It's a fun little place! We also decided to have lunch at their little cafe, which oddly. did not feature cheese prominently in any of their menu items, with the exception of macaroni and cheese. I was a little disappointed, honestly--not even a cheese platter for an appetizer! Ah well. Despite that little shortcoming, it was well worth our detour on the way home. Danielle has already asked to go back again!
Two of my favorite signs. They had signs all over the place--inside, outside, walls, ceilings. These two happened to be in the bathroom. I felt a little weird about taking a picture in a bathroom, but as you can see, not so weird that it was a deterrent.
Danielle having her lunch at the cafe.

Last Soccer Game of the Outdoor Season

2011-11-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

November 24, 2011

Danielle's outdoor team struggled a bit this year, but the girls played hard, worked together, and improved over the course of the season. The last game of the year was a bit of a trek for us; we traveled nearly an hour and a half to get to the field. As a matter of fact, the place was so difficult to get to that both my GPS and my navigation app on my phone led us to strange places in search of the field. Elizabeth, our name for the GPS, had us turn down a country road out in the middle of nowhere. When she said, "Arriving at destination, on left," what she meant was, "Apparently, you'll be playing smack-dab in the middle of an orchard." Strike one. We employed my phone's app instead, which I assume is at least a little more up-to-date. (Elizabeth is a tad outdated at this point.) We knew we were close, but didn't know exactly where we needed to turn to get to the soccer complex. My phone directed us to a dead end. ("Arriving at destination ahead.") In somebody's driveway. Nope--also not the spot we were likely to find droves of pony-tailed pre-teen soccer players.

A couple of phone calls and a several more minutes of roaming around the great 'city' of Porterville, and we finally did, in fact, arrive at our destination. If nothing else, at least Danielle and I had an adventure getting there. And, to the girls' credit, although they ultimately lost the game, the girls never gave up and played hard until the final whistle blow. It was a close game, and Danielle made some really spectacular saves in the goalie box, rolling and diving to block some pretty impressive shots on goal. Her coach told her it was the best game he'd seen her play all season, and I'd have to agree. Now we take a breather for the month of December, and then jump back into the world of indoor soccer in January.

My Little Man Will Always Be My Little Boy, Even When He's Bigger Than Me

2011-11-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

November 22, 2011

Hard to believe that this little guy....

...has turned into this guy.
As you turn 15 today, let me just remind you of just some of the things that make me love you so much:

You are fiercely intelligent, have a curious mind, and have the confidence to be your own person and not follow the crowd. The knowledge you have in your head is sometimes completely random and often really impressive. You're a loyal friend and have a kind and generous heart. You're genuine and affectionate with all of those you care about. I love that you hold doors open for family, friends, and strangers alike, and always shake your coaches' hands in thanks after each practice and game. It makes me proud to hear how polite and respectful you are to parents and siblings of your friends. I most especially love that at fifteen years old, you haven't outgrown hearing your mama tell you she loves you.

There are, of course, a million other reasons, but most of all, what I love most about you is you're my boy.

And no matter how old you are, how tall you get, how deep your voice becomes, you will always be my little boy, and you will always be my favorite boy in the whole wide world. Happy birthday, Sweet Pea-I love you!

Everybody Do The Charleston

2011-11-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

November 17, 2011

Ah, my little drama queen is putting her dramatics to good use! She's a party-goer and dancer in her school's production of Charleston. She absolutely loved the experience --this is her third year in a row being involved in the school play, and as far as I can tell, she intends to continue trying to find her way to the stage again in the years to come.

Danielle with her friend Steph, who also played on her indoor soccer team. I just love how sweet these girls are to each other!

Madtown Throwdown Robotics Tournament

2011-11-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

November 15, 2011

Nicholas attended his first robotics tournament as a high school student not long ago. He has now officially graduated from Lego robots to the real deal. (Doesn't 'real' robots seem a bit like an oxymoron?) Anyway, Madera was hosting the event (thus, "Madtown"), and Nicholas volunteered not only to spend all day Saturday at the event, but also most of Friday as well for the set-up of the venue. Since the kids were out of school for Veteran's Day, Nicholas could have opted to stay home on Friday, sleep in, and play video games. Instead, this program has been such a positive and appealing activity that he gave that up to spend two extra days at school. Granted, it wasn't his school, but it was school, nonetheless.
Nicholas came home both days grinning from ear to ear. Although he is a freshman, and one of the low men on the totem pole, so to speak, he is never made to feel superfluous or in the way. The seniors and juniors on this team are incredibly welcoming. They have created an environment that is truly inclusive and educational for the new kids coming into the program. They recognize the strengths of the younger kids, and foster those strengths and channel them into the specialized fields within the organization that they are best suit to. Nicholas was able to catch a ride with a handful of older team members on the day of the event, and even went out to socialize with the whole group after the tournament was over on Saturday. This is really what mentorship and leadership are all about, and I am so thankful such a great group of kids is leading the way for Nicholas and all of the other freshman kids who have found their 'home' on campus with this organization.

Happy Birthday, Gary Martin

2011-11-14T21:01:00.001-08:00

November 14, 2011

After-hours birthday party for Gary Martin at Giuseppe Gallo's!
David and Doug
Cheryl, workin' the bar.
Valerie and Carrie
Adorable cousins, Freya and Morgan
Love the Krepp family!

A bundle of adorableness--puppy and baby! (Miss Marlo)

Steve Hall

2011-11-14T21:00:00.001-08:00

November 14, 2011

When we went down to Southern California for Laura and Sean's engagement party, Doug found an opportunity to reconnect with someone he had been very close with several years ago when he was living down in San Diego. Doug had very recently come across Steve Hall on Facebook, and they had corresponded a bit. They were co-workers for about a year, and roomates as well, but had lost touch. With the advent of Facebook, they went in search of each other now and again, but sifting through all the Doug Smiths and Steve Halls out there on the internet is a bit of a daunting task. (Look them up if you don't believe me--a lot of folks seem to think Doug and Steve are great names for the offspring of the likes of the Mr. and Mrs. Smiths and Mr. and Mrs. Halls out in the world.) Eventually, though, their Facebook profiles crossed. It was only a matter of time.

As luck would have it, Steve is currently living not far from where we were going to be that weekend, and as a matter of fact had business to attend to in Santa Monica, which is where the engagement party was being held. Since I knew I had to drive the college kids back down to San Diego on Sunday, Doug had an afternoon to himself. He called Steve and arranged to meet up at a poolroom in Santa Monica. It was actually an ideal way to meet after so many years, since Doug cites Steve as one of his main influences in becoming the real pool player he is today. When they knew each other down in San Diego, they spent a lot of time at pool rooms, and Steve was a good player--better than Doug was, by Doug's own admission. Though they shared good times, good conversation, and easy rapport, their pool games always had the same outcome back in those days--Doug did a lot of racking the balls back then. Probably an association of those good times--combined with a somewhat competitive nature--spurred Doug on to pursue the game of pool and to develop the impressive and considerable skill he developed over time.

In meeting up again, both Doug and Steve found themselves falling right back into the comfortable conversation of good friends--you know the ones you can go for months or even years without speaking to, and yet it feels like just yesterday? They reminisced about old times and old stories, and caught up on where their life's paths had taken them. They made future plans to get together with the wives and kids. They ate, too, and of course there was pool--pretty good pool, as a matter of fact, even though Doug hasn't played much in the past couple of months. Good is good, you know? There's a sense memory there that doesn't really go away, once you get to a certain level. Kind of like the sense memory of a good friend from years past--time passes, but that connection is never really gone.

Friends Out on the Town for the Weekend

2011-11-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

November 14, 2011

Bree and her good friends Holly and Aaron spent the weekend at Aaron's uncle's beach house. They had ridden the train up from San Diego, but needed me to drive them back down to school on Sunday. I told them I'd be happy to, but they had to let me take their picture as payment. Aren't they adorable? Sweet kids!

Bree, Aaron, and Holly

Anime Eye

2011-11-13T10:46:00.001-08:00

November 13, 2011

I had been experiencing some weird pressure in my eye and had had about three days of fuzzy-headed headaches, and decided I was going to need to get in and get myself checked out. I'm not one to run off to the doctor at every ache and pain, but I'm not about to mess around with my eyes. Plus, I made the mistake of going to Dr. Internet to diagnose my pain, and his news was not good. I also bounced my symptoms off of my sis-in-law, who works in an optometrists' office. She, too, thought it would be a good idea to be proactive and have an eye exam. Since Friday was Veteran's Day and I had no school, I had a little time on my hands to kill in a waiting room.

The last time I had my eyes checked was some fifteen years ago. I'm 44 years old, so I figured I was well-past needing a basic exam, let alone one that would yield a tumor or glaucoma (as Dr. Internet warned was the probable cause). They first checked my vision, and I was honestly pretty thrilled to hear that my vision is still 20/20, and they said I didn't need corrective lenses for reading. I don't have a lot going for me, but dang it, I still have excellent vision.

Next up, they got down to the real business at hand. Since I had only been experiencing pressure in one eye, they dilated that eye for the doctor to take a gander at up close and personal. I breathed a little easier at each, "Looks healthy....looks normal...everything clear here..." A clean bill of health for my little eyeball...almost. He detected a little bacterial infection that was exacerbating a little dry eye situation--easily handled with a week's round of prescription drops. That minor infection was causing a little swelling, triggering the pressure that was definitely NOT a tumor or glaucoma. I wasn't even going to have to wear a pirate eye patch for a few weeks, as my amused husband predicted. What I was left with instead of the pirate patch was several hours of one--ONE--crazily dilated eye. I looked like half an anime character. Or that strangely bug-eyed rodent in the movie Bedtime Story (or half of him, anyway).

Engagement Party!

2011-11-12T23:44:00.002-08:00

November 12, 2011

Last weekend we went to Santa Monica to celebrate my baby sister's engagement. Her future in-laws, Jim and Toni, opened up their home for family and friends to gather and meet. It was the first time anyone in our family had met anyone in their family--besides Laura and Sean, obviously. Sean's family is so open and warm, and they clearly love and adore Laura. They greeted us as family as well, and we spent several hours getting to know aunts and uncles and cousins and good friends of both the future bride and the future groom. I think it's just beautiful how seamlessly Laura fits into their family, as Sean fits into ours. I'm really looking forward to getting to know the family even better over the years. I loved seeing Sean and Laura together, looking so happy. It was really a lovely night!

The couple of honor

We looked like we were getting ready for a prom--

Three sisters

Bree was even able to join us from San Diego State

Welcome to the family, Sean!

Brother Chad and Mom Toni
We crack ourselves up....

Bailey's Soccer Game

2011-11-12T23:44:00.001-08:00

November 12, 2011

My sister and I together have managed to produce five goalies between us, and although I have sat through countless soccer games here in Fresno, I hadn't been able to get down to Lisa's neck of the woods to watch any of my nieces play until this past weekend. We were in Southern California to attend Laura's engagement party and it happened to be play-off weekend for Bailey's soccer team. Loved seeing my little Miss Bailey in action! They played a tough game, and we got to see Bailey make a couple of pretty spectacular dive-and-roll saves. I'm hoping to get to see Devin and Taylor out on the field soon, too.

If I Wrote About You

2011-11-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

November 9, 2011

If I wrote that you were the one who convinced me I was capable, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me believe I was unworthy, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I've always been in awe of, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I was always a little afraid of, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who saved me when I needed it, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I thought was embarrassed by me, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who had more faith in me than I ever did, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I wished I could be like, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I never could quite live up to, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who showed me how men should treat women, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who showed me how important friendship was in a relationship, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who showed me how pasion can turn to anger, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who showed me what magic can lie in a person's eyes, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me question my worth, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me believe I was beautiful, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who pushed me to the edge of disaster, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who brought me back from the edge, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I feared would never go, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who filled me with despair, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I thought I deserved, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I had to make my peace with, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made it all worthwhile, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I felt made me whole, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one I wished against hope for, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me realize how strong I am, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me realize how lucky I am, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me question the value of my voice, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me feel my words, my thoughts, could really speak, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me wish I had been able to reach you, would you recognize yourself?
If I wrote that you were the one who made me know that I had touched you, would you recognize yourself?

Would you recognize yourself? Would you see that you were important to me, to who I am, if I wrote about you? Would you see yourself there? Do you know who you are? Do you know who you are in my life story--which role you might have filled? Which roles?

If I wrote the story of my life, and the names were changed to protect the innocent--and the not-so-innocent--, would you know if you were there?

If someone wrote their story about me, would I know it? I sometimes wonder who I am to you--to anyone--in their own life story. I wonder if I would recognize myself.

Oh What a Difference a Day Makes

2011-11-07T13:11:00.001-08:00

November 7, 2011

Doug's been growing his hair out for a very long time now--you know, because he can--but he finally decided it was time to go short again. Here are the before shots--long, luxurious, thick auburn waves:

And here is the after--sexy and short. He thinks for now, anyway, the beard's staying. I like it with the beard, personally, so I hope he keeps it. : )

Nicholas' Soccer Pictures, 2011

2011-11-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

November 7, 2011

Girls' Night, And Then Everyone Night--Best of Both Worlds

2011-11-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

November 7, 2011

Saturday night was Girls' Night Out, which we all need to treat ourselves to now and again. Julieann and Heather and I decided to take in the 2011 version of Footloose and grab some dinner and good old fashioned girly talk. (Footloose, by the way, was fun--not the travesty it could have been. I mean, seriously, did they really need to remake the classic Kevin Bacon flick? No, but the update is worth checking out. The combination of modern backdrop and 80's nostalgic throwback--mostly in the form of reminiscent music--definitely still speaks to the 40-something set who grew up with Kevin Bacon.)

After the movie, we stopped in Elephant Bar for a quick bite to eat. It had been far too long since I had been able to do a little catching up with these fabulous women, so we spent a lot of time reconnecting. Oh man, I love these girls! We really need to make it a priority to keep up with each other better than we have. Celebrating love and support and friendship--oh, that's so important, and it always makes us realize how much we love to spend time together. It's far too easy to let that get put on the back burner when there are houses to clean and taxis to run and essays to grade and all the rest of the obligations that eat up our time.

Some of our other friends were meeting up for a birthday party across town at Habano's, so that was our next destination. Jamie (a girl who looks uncannily like my sister Laura to me) met up with us. (Julieann, Heather, and Jamie all worked together as English teachers; since Julieann was my student teacher before she worked at their school, they let me tag along with them.)
Finally, we wound up at my favorite Saturday night spot, Thai Fusion, for karaoke and dancing. Doug was there, and several of our friends who are regulars, just like Doug and me. We ended up with a party of about 20 or so, laughing, singing, dancing, and having a great time. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night!

Halloween 2011

2011-10-31T22:17:00.002-07:00

October 31, 2011

Once again, the Halloween spirit transformed our house into the creepiest place in the neighborhood. Amazingly, the transformation took place in literally a day this year. I was out of town for Family Weekend at San Diego State, and Doug's work schedule kept him away most days until after dark. While I was away on the day before Halloween, Doug dragged out all the bins full of spiderwebs and tombstones and the creepy once-a-year inhabitants of our yard and created the atmosphere our neighbors have come to expect. We didn't get home until very late on the day before Halloween, and by that time, nearly all was ready. On the day of Halloween, while he and I put last minute finishing touches on the yard, the kids got to work gutting their pumpkins and creating their jack-o-lantern masterpieces.
The newest inhabitant of our yard this year.
Last year's star attraction was just as awful and creepy this year.
The full effect in the daytime.
Eric, resident ghost who actually stays around until after Christmas in our yard. (He is the greeter of Halloween, and the Ghost of Christmas Past, festooned in a Santa hat as soon as Thanksgiving has passed.)
My punk rockers, complete with purple hair. Notice the extra-special sullen look? They practice those looks sporadically throughout the year so as to enhance the costumes.

Personally, I find it just a tad disturbing how well Danielle managed to pull off this punk rock princess look. On the one hand, I thought, "That's awesome!" On the other hand, I was thinking, "Oh man--I could be in trouble if she decides she looks awesome!"

The zombie Justin rattling his cage.

Danielle's jack-o-lantern.
The Caretaker is something of a celebrity in the neighborhood. Kids come back again each year, looking for him. Those who aren't too scared to get close are welcome to take a picture with him.

Zombie Justin says hello to Zoe. She didn't seem particularly thrilled.

San Diego Visit to Sea World

2011-10-31T22:17:00.001-07:00

October 31, 2011

Family Weekend at SDSU

2011-10-31T22:16:00.001-07:00

October 31, 2011

I've been looking forward to this weekend for a long time now--Family Weekend at San Diego State! I took Nicholas and Danielle down with me and we had a nice long visit with Bree. It was the first time brother and sis got to see her dorm room and the rest of the campus. We left after school on Friday and got to our hotel pretty late. After having breakfast at the hotel's diner, we met up with Bree at SDSU. We got to meet several of her good friends and had a chance to just sit, chat, and catch up with each other.

One of the things Bree was looking forward to was having lunch at Pick Up Stix--her favorite food place--so that was our first stop when we headed off campus. Naturally, we found our way to Target shortly thereafter, because even in a different city, Target calls out to the Lutjens girls. (Nicholas, to his credit, was a good sport about our shopping venture. Just point him toward the video game section, and he's good.) We tried on lots of clothes, Danielle, Bree, and me, and got Bree some new baking supplies and a few groceries. (Bree is the resident 'baker mom' for her dorm, so she's always in the market for baking supplies.) Bree's good friend Aaron, whose parents were also visiting for Family Weekend, also happened to be at Target, so I got to meet all of them as well. Aaron is another one of Bree's new school friends that seems like a great kid--they seem to really enjoy each others' company and have a lot in common. It really makes me happy to know that Bree continues to surround herself with the kinds of friends who are positive, encouraging, and motivated people, just like she did in high school. The people you spend your time with really help you shape your outlook and your attitude, and Bree's always been really astute about that.

We continued our shopping day by searching out a thrift store (we're looking for a costume for the play Danielle's in) and a Halloween store (Nicholas still hadn't found a Halloween costume). We were planning on spending the rest of our evening at Sea World, but after doing a little fact-checking, we discovered that since they are no longer on summer hours, Sea World closes at 7:30. We decided it made more sense to postpone Sea World until the next day, because it would give us more time to run around there. Instead, we continued with the shopping and eating theme. All of the kids were really interested in going to Horton Plaza, a really whimsical and unique-looking outdoor mall, which kind of reminds me of a cross between something out of Alice in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss. We ate our dinner there at a wonderful little crepes place, and did some window shopping before the mall closed down for the night. By that time, it was time to drop Bree back home at her dorm room, and Nicholas and Danielle and I retired to the hotel room and curled up to watch a movie before turning in for the night.

The next day, we picked up Bree and Aaron, who joined us for an early lunch at a little Mexican restaurant near the campus. After lunch, I took all three of the kids to Sea World. Although they've been fairly recently with their dad, it had been a very long time since I had been to Sea World with them. They got to show me all the updates and additions, and of course, show me all their favorite attractions. I let them lead the way and tell me what all they wanted to do while we were there. It was a great afternoon!

Too soon, we had to deliver Bree back to life at college--her home away from home. She had baking to do and meetings to attend, and we had to get back on the road. Big hugs, big kisses, and we were off, and I was already counting days until our next visit. It was a long drive back home, but the kids were both in a good mood, and we split the drive into two shorter drives by stopping for a long leisurely dinner with Lisa on the way. This way, we actually got two visits in on one trip--with two of our favorite people! All in all, it was a wonderful weekend: )

Horton Plaza

All of us at lunch on Sunday.

Aaron and Brianna

Bree's lovely roomate Anna.

Danielle's Fall Choir Concert

2011-10-31T22:15:00.001-07:00

October 31, 2011

It's that time of the year again--Fall Choir Concert time! Alta Sierra and Buchanan put on a joint concert to show off the festival songs they've all been working on. I love that Danielle gets so much joy out of singing and performing on stage. Also, this year Danielle went looking for sponsors, and Auntie Cheryl and Uncle Gary sponsored her for all of the choir shows this year, so their names and the restaurant's name are listed in the program in support of Miss D. It made her so proud to see that--gotta love family and extended family!

Nerd Dress Up Day

2011-10-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

October 31, 2011

Last week Danielle's school had "theme" days in honor of Red Ribbon Week. On Nerd Day (I'm still not sure exactly how this was supposed to promote an Anti-Drug platform) Danielle decided to go all out. She put together her own outfit, complete with suspenders she fashioned out of duct tape.

The Grove

2011-10-26T15:53:00.001-07:00

October 31, 2011

Being a big ol' fraidy cat, I have avoided Hobbs Grove (recently renamed The Grove) for many years. Just the thought of going out of my way to get scared--paying someone money to scare me--was something I couldn't really wrap my brain around. The Grove has three parts, none of which were particularly appealing to me: The Haunted Hayride, The Haunted Forest, and The Haunted House. In all of these scenarios, creepy crawlies, zombies, mutants, and crazed creatures abound, lurking behind bushes and around corners. No cute black kitties with adorable witch hats set on their fuzzy little heads at jaunty angles. No welcoming and smiling jack-o-lanterns. Just sinister and ominously festooned folks whose only goal is to make you scream.

No thanks. Well, no thanks until this year. Perhaps I've become a little less fraidy-catty since I married Mr. Halloween. He positively revels in this time of year. Perhaps it's just because I wanted to make my daughter happy--the absolute least timid of all my kids. She'd been begging to go for years now, but I always thought she was too young. (It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that the girl is going to be thirteen this month!) Then there was my oldest, a fellow fraidy cat, who went out to Hobbs Grove last year--and made it back relatively unscathed. Whatever the reason, I had a little bit of a change of heart. A little bit. I felt I might be able to manage the Haunted Hayride, but the Forest and the House, which both have reputations for being much scarier, were still too far out of my comfort range. Even Nicholas agreed to join us for the Hayride (he's more like me when it comes to scariness), although at the last minute, he backed out on me. I didn't hold it against him though. In my mind, he was exercising good judgment.

So off we went, me with a great deal of trepidation and Doug and Danielle with a grand sense of adventure and excitement. My plan was to go on the hayride with them first, and then sit and wait in the kiddie pumpkin patch while they went off to the two scarier attractions. What I discovered on the Hayride was two-fold: First--if you scream, you become a magnet for all the other creepy-crawlies to come after. An easy target, so to speak. Second--those creepy-crawlies don't just run up alongside the wagon. They will jump right in beside you. It's possible that my screaming my little fool head off was a great source of amusement for everyone else in the wagon, but most especially for my husband and my darling daughter, who laughed at me hysterically.

This is where I hung out instead of wandering the way-too-dark-and-sinister Haunted Forest with Doug and Danielle.I'm not sure what this guy was. Danielle thought he was a grandfatherly-type bunny. I thought the glowing red eyes and somewhat cloven hooves were a little darker than her interpretation, but for the sake of not having nightmares (me, not her), I decided we'd go with her interpretation.

In the kiddie area (where I spent a little time), there was a sandbox-type area. Instead of sand, it was filled with dried corn kernels. I can't imagine how many ears of corn it took to fill it up! It was pretty cool, although it was a little disturbing to think how many hungry people could have been fed with all that corn. The first picture is Danielle's foot sticking up out of the corn. She thought it looked like a severed foot. That girl has a strange sense of humor....

In the end, with Doug encouraging and Danielle outright cajoling me, they convinced me that I'd be alright going through the Haunted House. Having to walk into rooms where I didn't know what to expect, other than to be sure something was going to jump out at me, was nerve-wracking. Blood, gore, suspense, shock--what was I thinking? I had told Doug I only thought I could go if he let me hold his hand, and by the end I think I had nearly broken his fingers. We got out alive, but I was definitely concerned some of those images would come back to haunt me. Danielle, on the other hand, had a big grin on her face when we were done. If I'd let her, she'd have probably asked to bring the gory fellow creeping up on her in this picture home as a dinner guest.
As for me, I'm glad I went, and I'm glad we all had such a good time. Next year, though, I'm probably going to stick to the Hayride. That's definitely more my speed.

Zoe's First Birthday Party

2011-10-26T15:48:00.001-07:00

October 31, 2011

I can't believe a year has gone by already and we are celebrating Miss Zoe's birthday. We all got together at Estelle's house for a little family celebration. Zoe was smiley and happy especially when eating the Barbie cake her mama made for her and when opening presents. (Naturally--who doesn't love opening presents?)Zoe heading up the stairs with Barnum.
Beautiful Miss Zoe.

Cake--yum!
Zoe gets a little help from Daddy opening up the present from Auntie Donna and Uncle Doug and the kids--her very own musical 'computer'. She loved it!

When They Were Little Ones....

2011-10-25T17:01:00.002-07:00

October 25, 2011

One more flashback post for the day. This was at a ceremony for our friend Donna Murdoch. The kids were all dressed up for the occasion. I remember it being very difficult for both of these adorable squirrels to sit still for the very solemn and formal military promotion service. All moms who have ever had the job of corralling kitties who just want to run and be free know how exhausting it can be. The just wanted to run around and check out all the cool stuff that was everywhere. After the service was over, I let them do a little exploring and (of course) took a few pictures. Weren't they just darling?

Bangs for Days

2011-10-25T17:01:00.001-07:00

October 25, 2011

I've been a little nostalgic this week for when the kids were little, so I dragged out some old pictures to scan. You know, the kind of pictures I'm sure my kids will appreciate me sharing with everyone here. This is little Miss Danielle when she was going to Day Care at Miss Tami's. I think she's three here. When I look at this picture, it makes me think of all of my old school pictures that make me think, "Mom, what were you thinking, sending me out into the world looking like that?" Danielle's bangs here started half-way up her head, and the ponytail look only accentuates that unfortunate bang choice . Soooo not my favorite look for her!

Halloween Flashback

2011-10-25T17:00:00.001-07:00

October 25, 2011

This has got to be one of my all-time favorite Halloween costumes for my kids. Bree made an adorable Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz when she was in second grade. Her best friend Macie had a matching costume, too. We tried to get Nicholas to dress up as the Cowardly Lion that year, but he was much more interested in being a dinosaur. I searched high and low to find a costume that would turn baby Danielle into Toto, but that didn't work out either. We decided to go with a cute little stuffed Toto instead.

Nicholas' 9th Grade Picture

2011-10-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

October 21, 2011

My handsome boy's school pictures for this year. So hard to believe how big he's gotten! And he even smiled a little--sometimes he's a little too cool for that.

Perry the Platypus

2011-10-17T11:18:00.001-07:00

October 17, 2011

One of my students, Allison Kolar, drew this as a representation of the vocabulary word "incognito". For those of you who don't recognize him, it's Perry the Platypus from the cartoon Fineas and Ferb. I was pretty impressed with this free-handed artwork. I love doing things in class where my kids can show off their artistic abilities, since I myself am incredibly artistically challenged.

Soccer Picture Day

2011-10-16T19:57:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2011

I was so happy to find out that Nicholas and Danielle had soccer pictures at the same place at the same time this past weekend. That makes the Mama Taxi run so much easier! (Cloning oneself can be just a tad exhausting.)Brittany, Danielle, Shelby, Mac, and Breanna

Engagement Pictures

2011-10-16T19:53:00.001-07:00

October 16, 2011

My baby sister Laura and Sean, her fiance. I love these engagement pictures--they look so happy! I can't wait until November, when I get to go celebrate with them in person at their engagement party!

Home for the Weekend

2011-10-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2011

For the first time in six weeks, I got to see my college-aged daughter, who came home for the weekend. I can't even tell you how excited I was to have her home! She got on a Greyhound in San Diego late Thursday night, switched to Amtrak in the wee hours of the morning, and arrived in Fresno at 6:45 a.m. Unfortunately, I had to be at work bright and early, so I had to leave the homecoming to her dad. My reunion with her would have to wait just a little longer.

Although she didn't sleep much at all on the bus or the train, she powered through and stayed awake so she could come back during the school day on Friday and visit her choir and drama teachers and lots of friends who are still at Buchanan. She showed up at school with coffee in hand, and we got to catch up (and give big huge hugs!) during my prep period before she headed off to make the rounds of the school. During my last class of the day, not only did she come back to visit with several of her friends who are currently in my A.P. Lit. class, but a few of my former students also stopped by to visit with her and say hello to me. These are some of my 'extra daughters,' so getting to see them was icing on the cake.

Bree and one of her sister-friends, Miss Kaitlyn.
As luck would have it, Bree came home on the weekend of our local elementary school carnival. Bree has never missed this carnival since kindergarten, believe it or not, and even though this is my first year without any children at that school, we all found ourselves back there Friday night.

Several of Bree's friends joined her there. This a sweet, loving, beautiful group of college freshman, laughing and having a great time together at the carnival for kids. (Shelby, Marlowe, Bree, Nicole, and Mallory.) I love these girls!
Danielle also met up with a good friend at the carnival--Andrei. These girls both managed to win goldfish to bring home, much to my chagrin. (As of press time, only two of our four have survived. If the remaining two make it through the week, maybe we'll name them.)
Nicholas found his fun (and luck!) at the Cake Walk. He won four times in fairly quick succession, focusing his eyes on various forms of chocolate as his prizes. After years of Bree being the lucky one at the Cake Walk events, I'm so excited that we came home with something besides vanilla cupcakes and shortbread cookies! After we had Nicholas' four baked goods plates safely ensconced in the car, he made another trip back to the Cake Walk. He made it his goal to win another cake for his former robotics coach, who happened also to be there at the carnival, and to win something vanilla for his big sis, who was home visiting from college. Lucky boy managed to do both. What a sweetheart!
Me with my beautiful girls.
When the carnival ended, we found our way to Target, because Target is like the Mothership to both Bree and me. Danielle provided comic relief while I pushed her around in the cart.
Bree, trying to figure out if she can lug a beanbag chair back on the train with her for her dorm.
Because of the carnival, we decided not to go to Family Dinner Night until Saturday lunch. We amended our Family Dinner Night rule, so that whenever Bree comes home, she bumps right into the rotation. Dinner, or lunch, as it turned out, was Bree's choice, then, so naturally she chose Thai Fusion. Afterward we stopped in to Heart Village for dessert. Yum!
Sunday, of course, came too soon. Doug and I took Bree to the train station, and honestly, the only reason I didn't get too emotional was because I know that Family Weekend at the college is coming up very soon. In just two short weeks, I get to visit her!
Hard to see her go, but oh, what a wonderful weekend it was.

Look Who Else Had a Dance This Weekend

2011-10-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2011

My beautiful niece Taylor also attended a high school dance this weekend with her friends--the Homecoming Dance. Love the dress! It's so exciting to see our kids growing up: )

Look Who Went to the High School Dance

2011-10-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2011

Nicholas attended his first high school dance last night. Actually, it was his first school dance since the Mother-Son dances in elementary school--he never had any interest in the junior high dances. I was really excited that he wanted to go; he's told me that he's 'trying to be more social'. He didn't go with anyone in particular--he just knew of some of his friends who were going, so he wanted to go hang out. I told him I'd be happy to buy his ticket, as long as he made two concessions--he had to let me take a picture of him, and he had to wear a shirt with a collar. (He grumbled a little at both, but conceded.)

I think it was a success. He said he didn't really dance, but he got to hang out with some of his friends. I almost expected him to call and ask to be picked early, but he stayed until the end and said he had a good time. I think my little boy is growing up (and becoming more social, to boot!)

We're Still Not Quite Getting It Right

2011-10-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

October 12, 2011

I spent this afternoon reading students' papers, and I came across a few that were somewhat disheartening--candid, honest, and a little eye-opening. Despite my misgivings about the 'hows' of the way those of we in education (and politics, as it turns out) sometimes go about doing the work of supporting and teaching the kids in our charge, I truly believe that most of us have the very best of intentions--the 'whys'-- at heart. But they're not all getting it. And honestly, I understand. In all our zeal to really reach every kid, to provide every kid with the tools to achieve proficiency and above so that they can move up and out to the next socially acceptable level--college--we are inadvertently sending the message that any other path is somehow inferior or unimportant.

Not that I don't believe that we can and should teach all kids, and not that I don't believe it's our responsibility to make sure every kid, should he or she choose the path, is ready to attend whatever college he or she chooses. But some of our students, kids who walk into our doors--my door--are feeling disenfranchised and dismissed. We talk about being prepared for college and the world beyond our doors, but the kids hear the subtext--college is the important goal, and anything else is second best. Critical thinking skills? Critical reading? Writing analysis? All incredibly important, no matter what the job, especially in this day and age. I talk about being a 'critical consumer of information' in my class. Whatever the text, whatever the information, we do ourselves a service to be able to discern intended audience, purpose, rhetorical strategies. Being able to sift through someone else's presentation of information, whether it be through a college textbook, a billboard, the evening news, a movie, a commercial, an instruction manual, an editorial, a television show, or a political campaign speech, is a skill that benefits anyone. But the kids think we are training them for higher education, and higher education alone. The institution has trained them to believe and to hear only college, and we're not doing a good enough job of showing them the importance of these skills in non-college bound paths. Why? Because as an institution, we pride ourselves on showing every single kid that he or she CAN go to college. Whether by design or by default, that has turned into every kid SHOULD go to college--or something is wrong.

So these are our kids, ones who feel unsuccessful and unimportant in the eyes of the school because the path that is calling them is not leading them to college--or at least not to college at this age in their lives. They feel they are just marking time, taking up space in classrooms not designed to meet their needs, until they can graduate and get on with their lives. They feel we don't care, or worse, that we only care about the fact that they take up our time, or bring down percentages on our standardized tests. That in fact, we only care about them insomuch as they reflect on us. And truth be told, there certainly might be some for whom that is true. But as I said at the beginning, I truly believe most of us have the right 'whys' at heart. I look at my motives, my reasons for being a teacher. I look at my colleague in the classroom to the left of me, and my colleague to the right of me, and the one across the hall--these are genuine, compassionate people who are in the business of teaching kids because they care about kids, not because they care about a number or a statistic that somehow validates their professional existence. They--we--care about who they are as human beings, with fears and hopes and dreams and ingenuity and individuality. They come to us with their own backgrounds and perspectives, and that's part of the privilege of getting to do what we do every day--interacting with all of these individuals, teaching them what we know, and learning from their perspectives at the same time.

And yet--they're not getting it. Many of them see us as a 'talking head', an obstacle to endure and hopefully overcome on their way to real life. They see us as wardens and overly-zealous power lords whose only objective is to orchestrate increasingly meaningless and difficult hoops for them to have to jump through for our own sadistic pleasure, especially the kids who have non-traditional aspirations that are not institutionally supported in their eyes. As one of my students wrote, "Why can't we learn things that are important to me? Changing your oil? That will save you money. Balancing a checkbook? Everyone needs to know how to do that. But we learn stuff that I will never need to know. This school is prejudiced toward the smartest kids. What about us kids who aren't as smart? Nobody is trying to help me."

It broke my heart. We're not making the connections clearly enough, and I don't mean just me in my classroom or my neighbor in his. I'm talking about the whole institution--the school, the district, the state, even the discussion of education at the federal level. It's not that we're not trying to help them; it's that we haven't figured out how to not just tell them, but show them that they are, each and every one of them, important. We are so narrowed in on statistics and data that the kids feel like that's what they've been reduced to.

One of my students asked me last week why I decided to become a teacher. How did I know that's what I wanted to do? I told her I became a high school teacher because I love kids, especially high school kids. I love the interaction, and I love to be able to share with them the things I love--reading and learning and writing. She said, "Huh. More teachers should become teachers because of that. I don't think most of them like kids."

Honestly, that hasn't been my experience at all. Most of the people I work with went into teaching for exactly those same reasons. Somehow, we just aren't getting the message out there. We're missing something, and everyone is going to end up losing. It's the kind of thing that's just not going to show up somewhere on a scantron test. There's no statistic or data that's going to fix that, so we'd better start looking somewhere else.

Not Quite Normal, But None the Worse for the Wear

2011-10-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

October 10, 2011

I spend a lot of time running my kids around to soccer and drama and choir and softball and robotics...you get the drill. When the kids were younger, there was T-ball, gymnastics, soccer, ballet, tap--if my kids expressed an interest, I thought I'd let them give it a try so they could see what 'spoke' to them.

When I was a kid, some of the same things my kids expressed interest in also appealed to me. My five-year-old little self was enamored of fancy tutus and the tip-tappy sounds of musically magical tap shoes. Little girl leotards were sparkly, and I wanted five or six fancy ones to wear to gymnastics class while I balanced precariously and glamorously atop the balance beam. I coveted the jaunty pink T-ball hats that the community Little League bestowed upon the little girls as they first learned the correct direction to run after hitting the ball off of the tee. I wanted all of those things desperately--things that many of my classmates had. I heard about them running off to practices and classes after school, and I wanted to join them. I saw myself, if I was able to join my classmates in their various glamorous activities, as elegant, beautiful, and graceful. Who wouldn't want to see me in all my finery out on the stage, or out on the gymnastics floor, or out on the baseball field? I know I wanted to see me there.

My mom, inexplicably, had other ideas about what I might like to try as a child. Who knows what her rationale was. Maybe she thought that having me try out an activity that was more obscure would give me an edge and help me excel in the field. Maybe the activities that she chose to sign me up for were simply less expensive lessons than the lessons my counterparts received. I really couldn't say. All I know is that when the other kids in the play group were off in their respective dance and gymnastics classes and learning about the rules of the great American sport of baseball, my mom ushered me into our 1970's Brady Bunch-style station wagon and drove me off to accordion lessons. Yes, you read that right; I learned the invaluable skill of playing a portable piano organ.

Now, lest you think I am disparaging the venerable art of the accordion musicians around the world, let me assure you I have respect for those who can play any instrument--any instrument. This many years later, this is a lost and mystical art to me. No, it's just that when I was taking lessons so many years ago, from an old man with an almost indecipherable accent in a tiny studio across town, I only knew one other person who was under the age of retirement who was learning to play the accordion, and that was my brother (also dragged unceremoniously, a fairly unwilling participant in the whole ordeal). I'm not sure if Mom thought we would eventually grow up and take the world by storm on the Lawrence Welk show with our modern renditions of polkas, or if she was grooming us for the life of a quirky street musician. Either way, our foray into this musical sub-culture was a brief one. My only real source of pride in the whole episode was that it was universally acknowledged (well, by my parents and my teacher, anyway) that even though I was two years younger than my brother, I was the better accordion player. A dubious distinction, to be sure, but I was proud of it, nonetheless. Sibling rivalry will do that to you.

You'd think after our undistinguished side-trip into the non-traditional that my mom might have learned her lesson and brought us back a little more center. You would think. But no, that's not exactly how it went. A few years passed, and Mom decided it was time to seek out a new extra-curricular activity for me. Again, I'm not sure what put this particular thing on her radar, but suddenly she was researching baton twirling. Not cheerleading. Not dance. Twirling. Don't get me wrong; in some parts of the country, twirling is, even today, fiercely competitive. And there are definitely sparkly outfits--sequins and glitter galore, automatically garnering more than a passing interest from me, especially since playing the accordion offered nothing like anything girly. But mainstream, here in California? Not even back when I was in elementary school. Once again, perhaps it was the only thing that wasn't cost-prohibitive. Or maybe she decided to stack the odds in our favor by sending her girls into lessons that most little girls didn't have. Whatever the reason, we delved into the world of twirling and parades and half-time shows.

This endeavor lasted much longer than accordion lessons--some two or three years, by my count. And unlike the accordion, I really enjoyed it. I twirled as a member of a team; I twirled solo. I got to march out in front of bands in parades, and wore my hair in fancy buns with glitter in my hair and sequins on my outfits. Eventually, I twirled myself right out of relevancy though, as twirlers eventually got benched in favor of high stakes cheerleaders on the football field and high powered dance and guard teams moving in synchronicity in band field shows.

In junior high and high school, I found my way to some of the more traditional extra-curricular activities--choir and swimming and band--and I loved them. These things were neither better nor worse than my previous affiliations, but at least I know other people who have had some of the same experiences I had in these organizations. But twirling? And even more so, accordion playing? Oh, those are secret societies, I think. Those of us who endured should have developed a secret Freemasons-type handshake to identify each other later in life, since I don't know too many who freely give up that information to just anybody.

My own kids have found themselves attracted to a wide variety of activities over the years, some of them in the realm of the mainstream, and some of them not so much. The main difference with my kids is that I have allowed them to find their own way and seek out their own interests. They got to chose. If I had a kid who wanted to pursue twirling, I would help him or her seek out opportunities to learn those skills. The kids who showed interest in Destination Imagination, in baseball, or in choir or dance--they piled in the van and off to rehearsals we went. I want them to seek out places where they can do what they love (not necessarily what I love), regardless of whether they are 'popular' activities or off-the-beaten path ones. However, I think that if one of my kids decides to get involved in, say, accordion-playing or Live Action Role Playing (hypothetically speaking) because it's what they really love and enjoy, I'm going to suggest that they try to institute a secret handshake. Later in life, they might enjoy being able to reconnect with their own people once again.

The girl playing the accordion is not me--she's just a representation. As far as I know, there is no photographic evidence of my musical prowess. The picture of the baton twirler, sadly, is me.

When Ordinary Signs Become Awesome

2011-10-10T20:07:00.001-07:00

October 10, 2011

Sometimes you've gotta look for the fun on Mondays.

Big Fresno Fair

2011-10-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

October 7, 2011

October means our annual family tradition of taking in all that the Big Fresno Fair has to offer. Doug actually had last Thursday off of work, so during the day we texted with each other and decided it would be an ideal day to take the kids to the fair. On Thursdays there's no soccer practice and no drama rehearsal, so it was perfect. As soon as school was over for the day, we packed the kids up into the car and set off for an evening of Fair Fun.

The first stop was the barn area. Doug's favorite is the cows, I love to see the ewes and their kids, Nicholas loves to try to make the roosters crow, and Danielle would spend hours looking at the bunnies if we'd let her.
The fair is my favorite place to get super sour dill pickles. My mouth waters just thinking about them. Then there's the corn dogs, grilled corn, gyros, garlic fries, funnel cakes.... So much good food! Fair day means taking a break from all reasonable food choices. It's a conscious decision we're okay with. Because it's fair food, you know?
Savemart was one of the sponsors of this year's fair. I thought this super-sized shopping cart was totally cool. It's motorized--you can actually get up in the top basket and drive the thing. Well--WE couldn't. Apparently only a special super Savemart driver can actually drive it.

Next up, we stopped into the exhibits buildings. We like to spend a lot of time in there, since we've got some friends who enter some of the contests (food, crafts), and since I often have students who've entered into the art or photography contests. Danielle suggested that next year we all make a family project out of entering into some of the exhibit contests next year, and we decided Danielle would enter art, I could enter photography, Doug could enter in the baking category, and Nicholas would build something. We have a goal, and will spend next summer encouraging each other in our family project. I think it will be a lot of fun!
The midway!

This was the best money we spent at the fair this year. They had an attraction called Walk on Water. For $8, you got to be zipped into a giant hamster ball. Once in, the hamster ball is fully inflated and set afloat on the water in a giant kiddie wading pool. We paid for both Nicholas and Danielle to give it a try. They spent a good ten minutes trying to stand up and 'walk' the ball across the pool--with hilarious results. Neither one of them could manage to stay upright for more than a few seconds before flipping backward or tumbling into a forward roll. No matter how many times they fell sprawled out on their rears or on wobbly hands and knees, they valiantly tried to get back up again. When their turns were finished, they crawled out of the hamster balls smiling and dripping with sweat from their workout. As much fun as they had, I had even more fun laughing at their attempts. By far the best money we spent at the fair!

My strong men....
Near the end of a great night.

Even When You Think They're Not, They're Listening

2011-10-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

October 6, 2011

I often hear people say that today's kids are rude. They lack manners. They don't respect authority. They're self-centered and can only see as far as their own mirrors. Are there some of those kids? Of course there are. There are most certainly adults who fit those descriptors as well. But I believe there's a whole lot more good in kids--in human beings in general--than some people are willing to acknowledge. The kids I work with and have the privilege of spending my days with are kind and generous and thoughtful and funny and smart and caring. They have their moments of less-than-stellar behavior, less than benevolent moments--as we all do. They're human, of course. But the minute I give up recognizing what's best in these kids is the day I walk away from teaching.

And they're listening. Moment-to-moment, just like adults, they're practicing what they've been taught, what they learn. And practice implies fallibility. Sometimes they fall, but they know the lesson. They're listening. I asked my seniors recently to write about one of the most important life lessons they've learned so far. Here are just some of their responses.

Never give up.

Take pride in what you do.

Life goes on.

Don't lie.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Live life to the fullest.

Be yourself.

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something.

Don't procrastinate.

Stay true to what you believe in.

Always do your best.

Appreciate what you have when you have it.

Be careful who you trust.

Be independent.

Don't hate anyone--it takes too much energy.

It's okay to not be okay.

Happiness is when what you say, what you do, and what you think are in harmony.

Don't succumb to peer pressure.

Attitude can change your performance.

Pain is temporary; quitting lasts forever.

Always earn it; never take it.

You have to do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do.

Respect your elders.

Forgive and forget.

Family first.

Stay close with your friends.

Expect the unexpected.

Don't complain, because you always have a choice.

They're listening. They hear what their parents, their families are showing them. If the kids I know are our future, I think we're in pretty good hands.

The Jetsons Got Some Things Right

2011-10-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

October 4, 2011

Remember when we were little and loved to watch The Jetsons? Maybe a robot maid isn't in every home, and we're not traveling through the air in space jets, but t.v.s that could talk back to you and see you? Two way video chatting? What a cool concept that was! Mr. Spacely could call George any time he wanted to check in about work. George could apologize 'face-to-face' to Jane for having to stay late at the office. Judy could show her mom an outfit she wanted to buy. Judy could have a quick look in on Elroy and Astro just to make sure they were okay. No matter where they were, they were always just a little click of the screen away. It was a futuristic dream.

The future is now, though. Have you ever really thought about how much technology has made itself a ubiquitous part of our lives? We take it all for granted so much of the time. Skype--The Jetsons two-way screen of our day--is really an amazing advancement in communication. Sure, video conference calls have been around for awhile, but Skype is everywhere now. It's not just for businessmen with the latest and most expensive technology. Everyone with an iPhone or a laptop can Skype with someone across town or across the world. It can even let this mama see her beautiful little girl, a freshman in college and six hours away, so that it doesn't feel like she's so far from home. We text all the time, and chat on the phone of course, but oh, it does my heart good to see her happy smile. It's the next best thing to a visit home.

Good News, Bad News

2011-10-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

October 3, 2011

The good news is that the Bandits scored three pretty impressive goals during Sunday's game. The bad news is that Lemoore's team scored an even more impressive nine goals during the game. Driving nearly an hour to suffer that kind of a loss was pretty tough, but the kids kept a positive attitude throughout the game, despite the fact that we were playing one man short and none of the boys got even a little breather for the whole game. Ah well...better luck next week!

Victory is Sweet

2011-10-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

October 2, 2011

Victory feels good, right? Danielle's team, Team Ricochet, pulled off their first win of the season on Saturday. They earned that win, too, with every bit of grit and determination. After the first half, Team Ricochet was down 2-0, but they fought back and came back in the second half with renewed spirits. Final score of the day was 4-2! Danielle stayed in at goalie for nearly all of the game, but got subbed the last ten minutes of the game. I thought she was done, but Coach had her jump right in at defender, where she got to get some running in and get her feet on the ball a little bit, instead of her hands. Here's hoping it's the beginning of a winning streak for Team Ricochet!

Let the Month of Halloween Begin!

2011-10-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

October 1, 2011

It's officially October, today--Doug's favorite month of the year. And although mostly Doug's all about the spooky and creepy nature of Halloween, both he and Danielle love to find the light side of Halloween while trolling the aisles of the local stores looking for the latest and greatest new additions for our all-out spook-fest at the end of the month.

I Trust My Kid--It's the Rest of Them I Worry About

2011-09-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

September 30, 2011

Brianna texted me tonight to ask what I thought about her attending a frat party. The good news? She texted me to ask. She didn't have to; she's 18 and on her own at college. But still, she thought she'd run it by me. So here's what I thought:

First--"How fun! I'm sure she'll have a great time hanging out with her friends on a Friday night!"

And then--"Alcohol. She's not had a lot of 'up close and personal' experiences with alcohol, but undoubtedly it will be there. (I know a lot of you are thinking to yourselves, 'She's 18. You're delusional if you think she doesn't drink.' I know my kid, though. It's just not her.) I'm not even worried so much about peer pressure; she's pretty sure of herself and not embarrassed to tell someone she doesn't want a beer. But kids throwing up from drinking too much? Kids passed out? Boys suddenly finding their machismo in a bottle or girls suddenly becoming far too giggly and losing I.Q. points by the minute? She might have even seen these things before in isolation, but a frat party can be a recipe for all of these things in great concentration. It could be overwhelming."

Then I got to--"Oh my gosh! Girls get drugged at these things! A little something slipped into a drink, coaxing the helpless kid to somewhere dark and secluded, mom finding out the next day that she never made it back to the dorm room and nobody knows where she is....."

Far too quickly my thoughts turned from Animal House to a horror movie turned even more horrifying. I had to scale back, and quickly, or Irrational Mom might just jump into the van and drive the six hours to go pick her up RIGHT NOW.

Deep breath. Another deep breath. I raised a kid with a good head on her shoulders. She knows the dangers. She knows the risks. And I went to a few frat parties in college. I emerged unscathed. Mostly, they were somewhere between my Thought Number One and my Thought Number Two. Kids out from under watchful parent eyes enjoying more alcohol than was probably prudent, and kids who were just out having a good time dancing, flirting, socializing. Thought Number Three happens, of course, but I never saw it. And with luck, Brianna's only experience with that sort of thing will be something she watches on T.V.

So I told her to go and have fun, BUT--

1. Go with a friend. Someone with whom you can have a pact to make sure both of you make it back home safely at the end of the night. The Buddy System is always a good call.

2. Make sure you check in with that friend periodically throughout the night in case one of you needs to be 'saved' from an uncomfortable situation.

3. Take your own water bottle or drink. Unless they've got cans of soda or unopened bottles of water, you don't really know what might be in the free-flowing beverages, or how much.

4. Don't set your drink down and leave it unattended, even for a minute. (You can call me paranoid if you want. I don't know those kids in that frat house, and I don't know what the moral compass is of all those kids at the party.)

5. Listen to your instincts. Stay true to who you are and what you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, leave (with your friend).

Oh gosh, I've never felt like an over-protective parent before. I'm sure if she goes, everything will be great. She'll have fun, make new friends (as she always does), and stay up the rest of the night chatting about it with her roommate once they get back to the dorm. Just in case, though, at the risk of scaring her and myself, I felt I just had to throw out those 'rules' before she headed out the door. A little reminder. How do you remind a kid to always give everyone the benefit of the doubt and believe the best in everyone--except when you shouldn't? This must be what it feels like to really have to learn how to let go. It's a little like jumping out of the airplane and just having to trust that the parachute is going to work. All you can do is count to three, jump, and pull the rip cord at just the right time (and say a prayer on the free-fall).

Danielle's Seventh Grade School Picture

2011-09-25T23:39:00.001-07:00

September 25, 2011

SAT Scores in Decline

2011-09-21T12:44:00.001-07:00

September 21, 2011

There's a new report just out letting us know that the class of 2011 has the lowest SAT scores on record. Naturally, there is a call to action for *gasp* educational reform. Nevermind that we've been operating under new and 'revolutionary' educational reforms for the past several years. It's something new every year, mostly centered around testing, testing, testing. Perhaps if we spent less time testing and spent more time actually reading real texts--literature and expository texts--the scores wouldn't be so disheartening. I'd love to see how many educational minutes have been wrested from our kids and devoted to testing. I think it would be alarming, actually, if we broke it down. Benchmarks, SAT 9s, CAHSEE, Common Assessments--we seem to be all about quantifying what the kids are learning, but doing it at the expense of time to actually teach our kids. I'm not opposed to testing--really, I'm not. But if we are realistic about how we're spending our minutes, I would think people would be alarmed at the amount of time we do not have available to us to actually teach the kids. Maybe THAT'S the reform we should look at.

Meet the Underdogs

2011-09-18T21:46:00.001-07:00

September 18, 2011

Today was the season opener for the Under 16 Boys Team--The Bandits. Although the boys were scrappy and tough, if today is any indication of the season to come, we might be looking at rooting for the underdogs this season. The 9-2 loss was tough to take, but I was proud of our boys, who did not resort to the pushing and shoving and trash-talking their opponents did on the field. It's appalling to me how arrogant and rude the other team was. I would rather our kids lose every game this season than display the unsportsmanlike conduct we watched on the field today. Here's hoping the upcoming games, win or lose, will prove to be respectful, challenging, competitive, and gentlemanly events. Is that really too much to ask?

I'm Complaining About The Hot Weather Now, But...

2011-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

September 18, 2011

...in a few months, I'll be shivering out on the soccer fields while sipping hot chocolate and peering through the fog. How is it possible that we drew all the 2:00 p.m. games when it's still 90 degree weather, but in a few short weeks, when the temperature starts to drop dramatically, we have four 8:00 a.m. games in a row?

Enough is Enough

2011-09-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

September 15, 2011

Okay, seriously, I have had it with the recent news headlines around here. Every few weeks there's some huge story about a teacher being arrested or investigated for inappropriate behavior with a minor. People are beginning to think it's the norm, rather than the exception. Just so ya know, people, there are thousands of us working hard every day to do what's best for the kids. Most of us went into the teaching profession because we believe in helping to shape the future, not for easy access to kids. Don't let the media hype fool you into feeling like there are lurking predators down every hallway of your child's school.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled sunshine, love, and optimism.

Girls' Night Out

2011-09-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2011

Night out with the girlfriends at Giuseppe Gallo's--Lianne, Jennifer, Val, and me.