Gratitude

 January 9, 2022

There is a lot going on in the world that causes stress, anxiety, and sadness.  That's why it's important to take time frequently to think about the things for which we are grateful.  Here are five things I am grateful for today:

1.  I am grateful I am getting to spend time with Nicholas while he is staying with me, before he moves to start his new job.  Since the kids are all grown up, the extended times with them are fewer and farther between.

2.  I am grateful I get to text or talk with my kids several days each week.  I like to talk to them, and they like to talk to me!

3.  I am so grateful that although Nicholas got Covid, he is experiencing relatively mild symptoms.

4.  I am grateful for Lisa and Mo.  Man, I don't know where I'd be without those two.  They are my sounding boards, they make me laugh, and they check in on me all the time.  I do the same for them.  Having best friends makes doing life wonderful.

5.  I am grateful for a seemingly endless supply of books.  So many ideas and stories we can inhabit for a time.  It's kind of mind-blowing to think about the millions of ideas and perspectives out there that we can enjoy and learn from.  That's pretty cool!

There's Got to Be a Book in Here Somewhere

February 18, 2014

For the conference I attended in San Diego this weekend, I traveled with a long-time colleague.  When we got to the conference, she ran into an old friend she hadn't seen in about ten years.  They fell back into immediate familiarity, and the three of us spent a great deal of time together over long, comfortable meals full of food, drink, and lots of conversation. As new friends often do, we shared quite a lot about our backgrounds and histories, tossing about the stories and anecdotes that shaped our particular paths in life.  Seriously, get three articulate, passionate, creative writers and storytellers together--the entertainment just keeps going.  We often think our own lives to be fairly mundane and pedestrian because we were there, of course, so it seems matter of course to us.  However, as I think back on the memories and situations that came up in the course of the conversation, I am struck once again that if seen by the objective eye, my life might not be quite so mundane as I often think it to be.
I shared stories, to name a few, about...
--the stream of illegal immigrants my parents hired as nannies when we were young in order to give them a start in their new country
--the morbid fear of knives I developed--and still have--because a babysitter (not one of the illegal ones) chased us to our neighbor's house, threatening to kill us
--the time my brother nearly blinded me as a very young girl
--the time my brother nearly blinded my sister as a slightly older young girl
--the time my brother smashed through our patio door to prove he had 'learned' karate
--the time we blindfolded and tied up my younger brother and left him, forgotten, in our attic for several hours
--the time I was homeless for a short while in junior high
--the time my parents bought a private school and we tried to make a run of it for the blink of an eye before they had to shut it down for financial reasons and we were shuttled back to public school
--the private investigator my father hired to spy on us during high school
--the time a party at my apartment (thrown by my roommate, who just happened to be my brother) very nearly ended my teaching career before it ever began
--the time I found nearly $4000 worth of drugs in my apartment
--the last time I ever saw my dad alive

We did, as I said, a LOT of talking.  My counterparts shared just as much of their own histories, which were fascinating and as foreign to me as my experiences were to them.  At the end of the weekend, we came away with two things: we all really enjoyed each others' company, and we all quite possibly have a book in us somewhere.  I mean, I could write a whole book on my brother alone!  Someday...

Laura

October 20, 2012

Laura got some new head shots done for her resume/portfolio.  I absolutely love this photo of her--just beautiful!

The More the Merrier

May 13, 2012

My sister Lisa has embarked upon a new and very exciting chapter in her life.  For as long as I can remember, she has always wanted to either adopt or foster kids.  There is such a need for that in our world, and Lisa has always seen that need as a calling.  After a great number of checks and assurances in many forms (financial scrutiny, physical check up, personal interviews with social workers, background checks, home and auto inspections, just to name a few), she was cleared to have kids placed with her.  Almost immediately, Riley and Emily, brother and sister, met with Lisa for a few visitations before the actual placement.  There was an immediate connection, with Lisa and with Lisa's girls, and before long her family had grown by two.  I'm thrilled for her and and all the kids, and can't wait to meet my new niece and nephew.

I May

May 1, 2012

I can't believe it's May already!

I May be counting down the days 'til the end of the school year.
I May be pretty excited by the fact that Bree will be home from college in two weeks.
I May be loving the beautiful weather we're enjoying this week.
I May be having a great time watching our new garden grow.
I May be shopping for my sister's birthday present already.
I May be a little jealous that Doug's got the week off, but...
I May be happy for him anyway.
I May be focusing on some really cool plans I have for vacations this summer with the kids.
I May be hoping that spending time at the gym is going to actually do something.
I May be looking forward to my annual prom speech for my seniors this week.
I May be feeling like I'm pretty blessed with a wonderful family and amazing friends.
And I May be thinking that even when little things get me down, I may be in a really good place in my life.

I love May!

We Are Family--Singing the Night Away

April 1, 2012

After the wedding, we took the whole wedding party and extended family to our local karaoke place, Thai Fusion, to sing the night away and keep the party going. Obviously, our signature family song is We Are Family, and of course we ended the night on a high note with a group number--Summer Nights. The highlight of the night would probably have to be a tie between Laura's rendition of Madonna's Like a Virgin (complete with wedding dress!) and Laura's mugging during Danette's version of Carly Simon's You're So Vain. Hysterical! Definitely a night to remember.Lisa, Scott, and me.
Chase, Gwynn, and Toni
Doug, David, Sean, Jim, Joe, and Scott--handsome group of guys!
Me, Rosa, Lisa, Danette
Lisa and Laura--the talent Mayes girls sing.
Chad--the groom's brother and Best Man
Laura rockin' out to Doug's song

The Night Before the Wedding

March 30, 2012

Laura and Sean didn't have a rehearsal for their wedding, and therefore there was no official rehearsal dinner. However, since lots of family was coming in from out of town for the wedding, we all decided to get together for the evening. Several members of Sean's family were able to travel up, so we got the opportunity to visit with them in a slightly more intimate setting than the wedding--the same little restaurant we took Laura for her Bridal Shower, Piazza del Pane. I'm so thrilled that Laura is inherited such a fun and loving group of people as her second family!

Pre-Wedding Family Get Together Pizza Night

March 30, 2012

My baby sister and me
Danielle and Aunt Laura
The happy couple--Laura and Sean
Me with my soon-to-be brother-in-law Sean.
Nathan
Brothers--Chad and Sean Byrnes

Formal Engagement Photos of Laura and Sean

March 25, 2012

With the wedding coming up this week, Laura and Sean had pre-wedding pictures taken out at Venice beach. These photos were taken by Courtney Hill of C.Hill Photography, who did a lovely job of capturing the very soon-to-be husband and wife. Looks like they all had a lot of fun at the photo shoot!

Mayes Sisters Sing Along

March 13, 2012

After the shower, all the adults headed out to The Brig for karaoke fun. I told Laura she had to wear the veil and sash I got her for the shower all night, so everyone there was in on the celebration. This guy in the picture with Laura is one of the owners of the bar, wishing her congratulations. Gotta love the 80's mullet!
Karaoke, Mayes-style

What's in a Name, OR Who's Clarence?

December 20, 2010

In honor of my brother, who is celebrating his birthday today:

Every younger brother suffers the whims of their older siblings now and again growing up. Usually, it's just light-hearted amusement to alleviate boredom. Our family was no different, in that on occasion when we were too bored to watch t.v. and we didn't want to read anymore and there were no good songs on the radio, we turned to our younger brother to entertain us. We weren't mean, my sister and I--we weren't into embarrassing him or making him cry. We just wanted to pass the time.

Take for example the day we changed his name, just for fun. Lisa and I were in early high school and junior high, respectively, and Scott was in elementary school. Our schools got out before the elementary school, so Lisa and I were home before anyone else. Home alone, and bored. What to do, what to do.... I'm not sure what made us think of it, but we suddenly decided it would be funny to see if we could get Scott start answering to another name. We picked one at random--Clarence. I have no idea why we settled on Clarence; perhaps it was because we didn't know anyone with that name. It sounded like a little old man's name, one who wore a Sunday hat and walked with a cane. Definitely NOT my little brother.

We heard the door handle jiggling. It was showtime. Scott walked in the door, and we greeted him with, "Hey Clarence! How was school today?"

Nothing. He walked past us, completely unaware that we were talking to him. He went into the bedroom to put away his backpack, and Lisa and I collapsed in a giggling fit.

Later, he'd sat himself down in front of the television set. Lisa walked into the room. "Hey Clarence--what are you watching?" Scott turned his head and glanced curiously at her, but did not respond. Throughout the afternoon we continued to address him that way, and continued to be greeted with silence or perplexed expressions.

At dinnertime: "Hey Clarence! Mom says it's time to come to the table."

"Why are you calling me that?"

"What do you mean? Mom said it's time to come to dinner."

He paused for a few minutes, shrugged, and just said, "Okay." He had given up trying to figure us out, and decided to just go with it. (It's a well-known fact that teenaged girls are typically the most unpredictable and puzzling creatures. He somehow intuitively knew that there was just no rational explanation, and that his best possible course of action was just to go along with it. Kind of like training ground for adult men who have realized that sometimes it's best to just nod their heads and say, "Yes, Dear.")

That night, when it was time for bed, I said to him, "Clarence, Mom said to go brush your teeth and get your jammies on." Without missing a beat, he looked at me and said okay and headed to the bathroom. The transformation was complete--Scott was now Clarence.

Who knew all those years ago that Clarence would become more than a way to alleviate boredom on a single adolescent afternoon. We kept it up, the next day, and the next. It became a term of endearment. Mom started calling him Clarence, too, and then our youngest sister. We addressed birthday and Christmas cards to Clarence over the years, and eventually close friends of the family started calling him Clarence, too. Nobody really knew why he was Clarence, but eventually they always asked. The answer? No reason. No reason at all. And yet he was--IS--Clarence, just the same. And to this day, Lisa and I both still probably call him Clarence with far more regularity than Scott. He's our Clarence, and he always will be, just because.

Happy birthday, Clarence. We love you!

"Outlaw" With Jimmy Smits

October 4, 2010

You know what I was doing late Friday night? I had a date with my tivo (and my hubby, too). My sister Laura had a role on Friday's episode of "Outlaw," a new court-procedural starring Jimmy Smits--her name even appears in the opening credits. The story line itself was really depressing--Smits defending a woman against murder charges. In a ripped-from-the-headlines case, the defendant is a seemingly emotionless woman (disassociated) charged with negligent homocide when her baby dies after being forgotten in a stifling car while the woman goes in to work for the day.

Heavy stuff, this. Even so, I watched eagerly awaiting the scene with my sister, Laura. She plays the defendant's best friend, distraught and torn about having to testify against her. Her performance was emotionally real--very touching. I'm so proud of her!

Hamburger Mary's and The Getty Museum

August 10, 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself with a little spare time on my hands, as the kids were with their dad in San Diego. Lisa's girls, it turned out, were also on vacation with their dad. We decided it was time for some sister bonding time sans children. At first we thought we'd go see a taping of "Don't Forget the Lyrics". I love that show (I totally rock at song lyrics, especially when playing the game from the comfort of my own couch), and Lisa had actually recently auditioned for the show. (She didn't get called back, but that's okay.) Plus, although the new host, Mark McGrath, is no Wayne Brady, he's nothing to sneeze at, either. We got tickets, and we were on our way to planning our adventure.

We called up our other sister Laura, and invited her to join us. She lives in Hollywood, not too far from the studio, so Laura invited us to stay at her place the night before the taping. That left us a free Wednesday night in Hollywood to find something fun for us to do together. Lisa had heard about a big weekly charity event in Hollywood that she'd always wanted to check out. When she told me what it was--Drag Queen Bingo at Hamburger Mary's Restaurant--well, I knew we couldn't pass it up. It was a total blast. Very interactive (much yelling and cheering), great prizes (we didn't win any), for a great cause (the proceeds from our Bingo night went to providing school and medical supplies to children in war-torn countries). Fantastic! The MC was quite funny, and Bridget, who ran the game, was gregarious and a lot of fun. She even let us take our picture with her afterwards. To be honest, the food was only mediocre, but you really couldn't beat the atmosphere.
The next morning we got up and hit the road for the game show taping. Laura had decided not to join us, since she'd had to get up at an unearthly hour to go to work. As can happen in L.A., the traffic got a bit snarl-y and stand-still-y, and it soon became apparent that we weren't going to make it to the studio in time. We're flexible sort of people, my sister and I, so once we realized we were going to spend the day Mark McGrath-less, we refocused our energies into figuring out what we were going to do with our day in L.A. Suddenly, we were given a sign. Literally, a sign appeared. As we were crawling along the freeway, we passed the road sign for the upcoming Getty Museum, and suddenly our plans were clear. The Getty is on both of our lists of Things To Do In Our Lifetime, so we followed the signs to our new destination.
The Getty is a beautiful place, and it houses some pretty impressive works by masters, including Renoir and Monet. It even houses Lisa's favorite painting, Van Gogh's "Irises". It is also currently showcasing work by the artist Gerome. Neither Lisa nor I had ever even heard of Gerome, but after seeing his exhibit, we are both fans. It was quite an extensive exhibit, spanning his whole artistic career. It will probably not surprise you to know that Lisa and I amused ourselves throughout the museum by making up stories and snarky comments about the subjects in some of the works. We didn't even realize we had gained a fan until the docent in one of the rooms suddenly appeared behind us, giggling at one of our 'assessments' of a painting. "I like to keep you girls here all day to make me laugh," he said, startling us both. We did not know anyone was listening to our nonsense reviews. He walked over to another painting and pointed, "How you making fun of this one?" That guy thought we were hilarious. Of course, we often think we are hilarious, but not everyone joins us in that opinion.These signs, by the way, cracked me up. They were everywhere. Don't they look like they should say, "Please don't POKE the sculpture"?
We spent about four hours roaming through the museum, and had a great time. I just love days when you have no idea what's going to happen, but it all works out even better than you expected. We really love getting the whole family together, kids and all, but it really had been too long since we had been able to have that much uninterrupted adult sister time. We've really got to remember to not let those outings get put on the back burner for too long at a time.

Sometimes it Helps to Remind Yourself

June 2, 2010

What's making me crazy right now:

--A crazy, cantankerous neighbor who is unhappy with her life, so she wants to complain about everyone else. Right now, I'm her target. It's a moving target, so it'll probably pass, but right now she's annoying the heck out of me!

--Not looking like I'd like to look too close to my reunion. Sigh...

--Rising temperatures, which are sure to make the summer months less than comfortable

--The on-going struggle to accept those things which I cannot change

What's making me happy right now:

--Three healthy, happy kids who are counting down the days til summer (just like their mama)

--Getting the pool fixed after having it out of commission for WAY too long. It's going to make those triple digit heatwaves bearable!

--Doug's job, which looks like will continue for a little while longer before the project is complete

--Getting to go to Disneyland with my sister tomorrow when we chaperone Grad Nite. Yay!

--Having only one kid out of four classes of seniors who didn't pass and who won't be graduating. It's the most frustrating thing to have kids who give up so close to the finish line, so I'm very proud of the few who were on the brink and pulled themselves through.

--The Scripps National Spelling Bee, which is THIS week. Yup, I'm a nerd. I can live with that.

--Finally having my credential renewal complete. Those folks over at the Commission on Teacher Credentialing were taking their sweet time.

--A pretty smooth end-of-the-year wrap-up here at school

--Finding classic books (Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights) for $2.50 each at Target so I can stock reading group books in my classroom.

--My birthday, which is coming up this month

--Having spent time with great friends and family this past weekend. Oh, how I love those people. (You all know who you are.)

--Doug, who is handsome and funny and talented and smart, and who loves me in all my smooshiness for him. Sometimes I still can't believe how lucky I got.


SO, in the balance of things, although I've got some things in my life I could do without, I've got a whole lot more things things to be grateful for and to smile about. It's a pretty good day, after all.

Through the Years

May 15, 2010

When I was two, she was the reason my mom disappeared for a few days, suddenly reappearing with a tiny new baby in her arms.

When I was four, she used to stealthily climb out of her crib to come crawl into bed with me, where we got caught nearly every time, chattering and giggling 'til well-past bedtime.

When I was I seven, my mom loved to see us in matching dresses and matching bad eighties perms, and we spent our afternoons staging elaborate paper doll shows in our room.When I was eight, we shared a queen-sized bed and she threw up on me while I was sleeping. And I got in trouble for it, because I fell asleep too close my sick sister. (How does that make sense?)
When I was ten, we were in Girl Scouts together, played 'school' on quiet afternoons, had weeks-long Monopoly tournaments, and helped our brother devise Mayes Olympics.When I was twelve, we survived Miss Lula Belle. There are no words to describe the experience.

When I was thirteen, we didn't always get along great. We argued over clothes and blamed each other for our messy bedroom. (She was the messy one, really!)

When I was fifteen, we remembered that we were a lot more the same than we were different. Band trips, drum corps, Aldo's pizza after football games. Staying out late with friends, and talking late into the night.
When I was twenty, she moved away, and I worried it would never be the same. I needn't have worried.

When I was twenty-two, she and I, along with our brother, made Hawaii an unforgettable vacation experience. Snorkeling, midnight swimming, conga-line dancing on a ship filled with Japanese tourists and us...Phil Collins "Another Day in Paradise" became our theme song.

When I was twenty-eight, I gave quite possibly the worst speech ever given by a Maid of Honor. My fear of public speaking combined with overwhelming emotions of love and a genuine wish for the very best life for her made it nearly an impossible feat. Somehow I managed through it. Just in case I ever want to remind myself why I don't give speeches, she has it on tape.

When I was thirty-one, we both looked forward to the impending arrivals of new little ones to our families. We also took on Paris together--The Lourve, The Eiffel Tower, The Palace at Versaille, and a nurse's strike (just to add to the excitement). It's still one of the best weeks of my life.When I was thirty-two, we both learned together how to say goodbye to our mother.

When I was thirty-six, we supported each other as we each embarked on new, empowering, but somewhat daunting paths in our lives.
When I was forty, we started dreaming of what it would be like to live in the same city again, watching our kids grow up together.
And when I was forty-two, she turned forty-one. And she's still my best friend--the person who knows me as much as I know myself, and the one who shares my history and my life in a way no one else does. Here's to many more birthdays to come.

Happy birthday, Lisa. Love you, Sis.