Moravia Winery

February 7, 2026

We had a wine tasting outing with our friends Kari and Will and with Brianna and Shelby. The weather could not have been more perfect. It was lovely!

Pub Quiz With Brianna!

January 27, 2026

Tonight Bree joined us for Pub Quiz, and I think she'll keep coming. How fun to be able to do little things like this together now that she lives in town! We'll have to figure out a work-around for dinners there, though. They aren't big on vegetarian options. Dinner for her ended up being a giant pretzel!

Keeping the Spirit Alive

January 14, 2025 I am not one of those who puts away Christmas right away. The sparkling lights make me happy, and I like to prolong that feeling. And to be honest, it takes a long time to put up all the Christmas decorations, so I like to get the most out of my time investment. Here we are nearly at the mid-mark of January, however, and even I must admit it's time to carefully pack away the garland, the ornaments, the wreaths, and all other sparkly and festive reminders of the season. I started today and will slowly work towards having it all put away by the weekend.

Brianna's First Day

January 6, 2025 After 13 years, Brianna has made her way back to the Central Valley! I'm so happy to have her home with me--quite literally for a time, since she and Leslie the Puppy are staying with me for a couple of months until she moves into her own place. She started her new job as an E.A. with State Center Community Colleges. Now we have three of us who work in the district in various capacities--Bree at her job, Lisa as the VPI at Fresno City College, and me as an adjunct faculty member at Clovis Community. All in the family! Although Bree's day got off to a rough start, she jumped in and started learning the ropes in her new role. Since she has lots of experience as an E.A. (Executive Assistant), I'm sure she'll be up and running in no time. Her rough start, by the way, didn't come from the job itself, but the act of getting to the office. Bree has been living in Seattle, and prior she lived in Washington D.C., both of which have great and easily accessible public transport. Because of this, she hasn't owned a car for the past few years. Moving here will necessitate having a car, and until she makes that purchase, she is borrowing Lisa's second vehicle. Bree wanted to give herself plenty of time to get to work early this morning, and it's a good thing she did. Not being accustomed to warming up a vehicle on very cold mornings, she went out and found that the van's windshield was frozen, and nothing she did-defroster, water on the windshield, etc.--helped make the windows safe for driving. That's a frustrating way to start any day, but even more so on your first day at a new job. She kept calm though (I probably would have been in tears!) and called herself an Uber. Because she was leaving so early, she had built in enough of a time cushion that having to wait for the Uber didn't put her behind. She made it to the office just a bit early and got ready to check in to the new job. I was pretty impressed that she didn't let the situation frazzle her!

Albert's Birthday

January 3, 2025

A couple of weeks ago, Lisa, Bree, and Danielle and I went to a friend's house to make tamales. I'm not sure how we came into the tradition of having tamales every Christmas, except that opportunities for purchasing homemade Mexican tamales are plentiful at Christmas time, particularly in the Central Valley. Because of my fondness for them and easy access, my kids always grew up knowing that we'd have tamales at Christmastime--it's one of our traditions. When I happened to mention it at Thanksgiving to a friend, she offered to have us all over for a tamale-making day. I've always heard that it was a long day, tamale-making, and it was! However, with many hands and a few steamers, we were able to make about 18 dozen chicken, pork, and vegetarian tamales among all of us. (We talked, of course, and had the requisite singable songs going, which made the process much more fun.) I can confidently say that they turned out pretty well! Rafe suggested that we take some to his dad when we celebrated his birthday, which is today. Although I admit to a little trepidation about taking my homemade tamales to someone who grew up in a traditional Mexican household and whose mom used to make him tamales, we decided we'd go to Tulare for dinner and treat him. Rafe made beans and Albert made rice, and I must say we sat down to a very tasty meal together! Both of his parents thanked us and gave us the stamp of approval for the tamales, which made me feel good. I love visiting Albert and Cyndi because they are always so welcoming to me, so it really was a great birthday visit. :)

Leslie Leaves

January 14

For the past several weeks, Brianna and Leslie have been staying with me while Bree had the opportunity to work remotely. Of course I was thrilled with the idea of getting to have Bree with me, but I had my reservations about Leslie. She is the happiest, friendliest little dog, but also pretty needy and occasionally anxious and nervous. And the hair! Let me tell you, one thing I have not missed about having a pet of my own is the hair everywhere. (Truth be told, I shed hair constantly. There is hair at my house. But at least I know it's mine when I'm living alone and I only have myself to blame for it.) But Leslie? That sweet puppy is a hair-making factory! Once she got here, though, she just endeared herself to me even more than she normally does. She's a cuddler and super playful, and I enjoyed having her here more than I knew I would. She mostly had the run of the house, but my room was my oasis, so at least I could have one space that was (mostly) pet hair-free. That was enough of a boundary for me. Leslie and I bonded quite a bit on her visit--she loves me and I love her. Today, as her mom wraps up her time her with me, so does Leslie. She has her own personal driver to take her back to Seattle--Leslie doesn't do well with flying, so she will not be airport-bound like her mom. This is our goodbye-for-now, but I will definitely miss her sweet happy greeting at the end of my workday each day. It's going to be an adjustment for me for sure!

Binge-Watching Bridgerton

January 5, 2024 I'm late to the party, but since Bree has been home with me AND she's been telling me for MONTHS that I need to watch Bridgerton, we decided that would be a perfect binge-watch for the two of us. While I was home for Christmas break, just breezed through both seasons, plus the off-shoot, Queen Charlotte. Such a fun series! The accents made it a little tough for me so we used subtitles, which I know bugs some people, but it doesn't bother Bree and I think I catch so much more of the dialogue this way. I feel like I need to get the books and read those, as well! There's another season coming soon, so obviously we'll watch that one when it comes out. Unfortunately she'll be back at her own place by then, but I think we can remote-watch it togeter. Can't wait!

Thursday Night Social Hour

January 4, 2024

Since Bree is still on her extended stay with me, we decided we needed a social hour get-together with Mo. It is just a wonderful feeling when your daughter is old enough to become friends with your friends. Talking, laughing, eating, and drinking together with these two brings me all kinds of happiness, and I am here for anything that brings happiness to me and to others. If we aren't actively seeking that in our lives, then what are we even doing?

Bree is Coming Back to the West Coast

March 29, 2022 Brianna decided a couple of months ago that the East Coast life is not for her. As her mama, I am not at all sad that she'll be moving back to this side of the country, but more importantly, I am very happy that she is making a career decision that is going to serve her skills and desires. It is just as important to be reflective enough to recognize what you don't want to do as it is to understand what you do want to do. She came to the decision that continuing to pursue studying law would not be fulfilling for her in the long run, and she has chosen to move forward in her previous career path. I am so glad she chose to make that change now, rather than continuing to try to make something fit just because she started down that path, and then finding 20 years later that she regretted that life. Changing your path, or quitting something because you realize it's not for you is not a failure, but rather a sign of reflection and maturity, and I am so proud of her for her choice. Next week she'll be heading back to Fresno for a week or so, then she'll be headed up to Seattle to reunite with her former roommate and bestie, Kaci. They'll be sharing an apartment again and working at the same place (albeit different departments). I am thrilled that Seattle Children's Hospital will be her new home as she begins her new journey as an Executive Coordinator in the Office of the CEO. Hooray for new adventures (and a much closer flight to Mom!)

My Boy Visits

March 24, 2022

In addition to getting to see both of my girls this week, Nicholas also came home on his days off. That's a trifecta!

Cherry Blossoms Around the Neighborhood

March 21, 2022 

Cherry blossoms around the neighborhood

Before heading out on the plane, we took Leslie out on a walk in the neighborhood to check out the cherry blossoms that D.C. is famous for this time of year. Flowers were everywhere!

Riverdance at the Kennedy Center

March 20, 2022

Riverdance at the Kennedy Center

For sure, one of the highlights of the trip was getting to see Riverdance at the Kennedy Center. Historic venue, mesmerizing performance. What an amazing night to share with Bree!

Smithsonian Museums

March 19, 2022 

Smithsonian Museums

Because of the time change in getting to D.C., both Bree and I slept in and got up in a very leisurely fashion on Saturday morning. We walked to a neighborhood grill to have lunch, and then headed off to see some of the Smithsonian Museums. On the list was the Hope Diamond and Dorothy's ruby slippers, as well as the display of the First Ladies' inaugural gowns and the National Portrait Gallery. It was an incredibly beautiful day, so walking among the museums was lovely as well. Of course, we didn't get to see all of the museums we would like to have seen, but I'm so glad I got to see the exhibits we saw.

Traveling to Washington, D.C.

March 18, 2022 

I have been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. Bree has decided she is going to move back to the west coast in another month or so (which I am very excited about), but for now she is still in Washington, D.C. I wanted to take the opportunity to fly out one more time to visit her while she's still on the east coast, and to do a few touristy things. Without her living there, I might not have the same motivation to head out that way any time soon. So I took two personal days off--Friday and Monday being primarily travel days--and am spending some quality time with her. Pictured above: my granddog Leslie, who is also very happy I'm visiting.

Brianna's Coming Back!

 February 28, 2022

I just got a definitive date when Brianna is moving back to the West Coast.  She moved to Washington D.C. last year for school, but has taken a remote job working PR/Communications for an agency out of Orange County, so she will be moving back to this coast soon. I am so excited!  It's tough having your baby girl so far away!  Even though she will be working for a place in southern California, she has decided to move back in with her old roommate, Kaci (who I adore) in Seattle.  We are living in times that actually allow someone to live in Seattle and work in Orange County--how wonderful is that?? And even though she won't be in the same state as me, she will still just be a stone's throw by plane, and I am okay with that.  She will move home for a month in May before she heads off to Seattle, so I will definitely get to have some mama-daughter time soon.  I am so looking forward to it!

Anastasia

February 22, 2022

Tonight I got to head out to the theater once again to see a production of Anastasia.  This used to be one of Brianna's very favorite movies when she was young.  Weirdly, although she watched it a hundred times with me, I didn't remember much about the plotline.  I remembered, of course, that it was about the Romanovs and the daughter who survived the attack on her family, but beyond that I hadn't held onto the details of the story.  I think Bree and I watched it so often that I got bored by it and blocked it out.  The show has some pretty dark moments, but lots of comedy, too.  I thought the actors were all very strong, especially their singing voices.  Unlike when I went to see Waitress last month, I didn't have any trouble understanding the lyrics during the musical numbers.  What was really incredible, though, was the digital sets.  I don't think I've ever seen a show that relied so heavily on projected scenes, but the detail and quality were so beautiful and intricate that it definitely enhanced the production in a very different way than a traditional set might have.  I would imagine that a traditional stage set for a production like this would be incredibly expensive and difficult to transport, but the projected screens allowed for a lot more flexibility.  Done poorly, it would have detracted from the experience, but the quality here was stunning.  Couple that with a charming date, and it all made for a very lovely evening indeed!

Gratitude

 January 9, 2022

There is a lot going on in the world that causes stress, anxiety, and sadness.  That's why it's important to take time frequently to think about the things for which we are grateful.  Here are five things I am grateful for today:

1.  I am grateful I am getting to spend time with Nicholas while he is staying with me, before he moves to start his new job.  Since the kids are all grown up, the extended times with them are fewer and farther between.

2.  I am grateful I get to text or talk with my kids several days each week.  I like to talk to them, and they like to talk to me!

3.  I am so grateful that although Nicholas got Covid, he is experiencing relatively mild symptoms.

4.  I am grateful for Lisa and Mo.  Man, I don't know where I'd be without those two.  They are my sounding boards, they make me laugh, and they check in on me all the time.  I do the same for them.  Having best friends makes doing life wonderful.

5.  I am grateful for a seemingly endless supply of books.  So many ideas and stories we can inhabit for a time.  It's kind of mind-blowing to think about the millions of ideas and perspectives out there that we can enjoy and learn from.  That's pretty cool!

Graduation Day-A Different Perspective

June 13, 2017

Last week’s end of the school year was a whirlwind, and I’m just now finally having a moment to sit and reflect.  The baby girl graduated, and she did it in style.  With it came the usual senior celebration fare:  awards ceremonies, Grad Nite, Sober Grad, graduation parties, and lots of family and friends to cheer her on.  At the actual graduation ceremony, she and her classmates symbolically and publicly bid farewell to their now-alma mater and set feet firmly on the proverbial path to their futures.

I’ve always bristled at hearing folks say that the kids enter “the real world” after high school.  The real world is whatever world one inhabits, and students inhabit the very real world of high school for a time.  Once they’ve run that gauntlet, they enter a new world, but it is not one any more real than their previous four years.  It is, simply, their next new world for a time.  We all have many new real worlds that we enter throughout our lives: new schools, new jobs, new relationships, new mother- or fatherhood, new retirement.  Each step along the path becomes our new normal.  The new normal, Danielle’s next reality, is college, and all the hope, promise, excitement, and even anxiety that will bring.

In this new reality, she’ll be finding out who she is becoming as a young adult.  She’ll be leaving the relative safety net of parental dependence to begin the exhilarating and sometimes incredibly frustrating process of becoming truly independent.  While I hope that there are big decisions she’ll still bring to me for help and guidance, there are a whole host of decisions and choices that she’ll make entirely on her own—for which she and she alone will bear the fruit or the consequences.  I have faith that she has the tools to be true to herself and make good decisions, but we all stumble sometimes.  She will stumble.  I also have faith that she has the tools to pick herself up, dust herself off, and continue forward when that happens.

In thinking about Danielle’s new reality, though, I have to stop and recognize that this is not just Danielle’s new normal.  She is my last, as I have said, to graduate from high school.  For many parents, this is a cause for celebration.  (Empty nest! Time to set up that craft room or the new man-cave!)  For some parents, it’s almost a time of mourning.  (Empty nest? What will I do without my babies?)  For me, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a little bit of both.  But it’s more than just an empty nest, isn’t it?  It’s not just about freed up space in a home.  It’s about identity.  For nearly twenty years, from Child One to Child Three, I have been the mom of a school-aged child.  While that hasn’t been the whole of my identity, it did comprise the vast majority of who I was and what I did in those years—as I felt it should.  As I wanted it to be.  I have met and even befriended many of my children’s teachers, and together we have both commiserated with each other on occasion and celebrated my children’s progress.  I have coached soccer and Destination Imagination, I have attended more choir, robotics, and sporting events that I could possibly count.  I have made late night runs to Target to purchase poster board for the project that was due tomorrow (Tomorrow?? Are you serious??), and I have hosted slumber parties and study sessions.  I have been a study partner and a proofreader; I have chaperoned field trips and logged countless miles in the mom taxi.  I have fretted with them when they were struggling in classes, and I have rejoiced with them over hard-earned grades and well-deserved accolades.  I have become ‘bonus mom’ to a number of children I did not birth, but who have become part of my family at the side of my own children through the years.  Along the way, at every turn, I tried to emulate and model positivity, good decision-making, forgiveness, flexibility, open-mindedness, balance, joy.  I didn’t always succeed in these, but I hope I did more often than I did not.  I hope with all of the lessons they learned from books in school, they also learned lessons from me that don’t come from books—the kinds of lessons that teach you how to take what you learn from all the books and use it to help those around you, to make a difference in the lives of others.

While I will always be my kids’ mom and their number one cheerleader, the role of mom will be a different one in this new normal as Danielle embarks on her new path.  I will still always be there for her, and for my older two who have already walked down the path a ways, but what they need from me will be different.  Sometimes that will mean being a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes that will mean getting out of the way so that they can spread their wings and fly—or learn to fall—on their own.  The day to day minutiae of being a school-aged parent will be in the rear-view mirror.  Some days I’ll miss it terribly—yes, even little things like having to sign parent permission slips and shopping for Back to School supplies—and some days I’ll marvel at how I was able to manage juggling all of those little things while maintaining some semblance of sanity.  Some days I’ll rise to the occasion and be exactly who I need to be for myself and my kids, and some days I’ll falter and fail them, or feel I have failed myself.  I don’t know yet how to be the person I need to be in my new ‘real world’, because I’ve never been her before.  Just like Danielle, just like Nicholas and Brianna before her, I’m stepping into new territory here, and will have to learn to find my way.  I don’t know yet how to be not the mom of school aged children anymore, but I’ll learn.  I, too, have graduated, and am ready to start my next ‘real world’.

Last Friday

May 29^th, 2017

On Friday night, we went out to dinner.  Folks who know me know what that means: our regular Family Dinner Night tradition.  Years ago, when the kids’ dad and I divorced, I instituted Friday Family Dinner Nights for a couple of reasons.  First of all, by Friday nights, this then-single mama was TIRED.  After taking care of the kids all week, and running them to all of the various clubs, lessons, and sports practices after school AND working full-time, by Friday night I couldn’t wrap my brain around thinking of one more meal to plan, prep, cook, and clean up after.  I decided we’d let restaurants take care of all that for us at the end of the week.  The other reason—the more important reason, actually, was that I really wanted to establish some new traditions for our new household.  We had some traditions and rituals that we maintained from our previous life, but I felt it was important to create some new ones as well—continuity plus transition.  It’s a tricky balance, but one I felt was important as we forged a new beginning.

Friday Family Dinner Night wasn’t just for Friday nights though, contrary to the name.  Each week, we would take turns picking out the restaurant, in descending age order.  For the first couple of years, that meant that I would take us to a family friendly sit-down restaurant as fancy as, say Applebee’s or Chili’s, and Brianna was likely to choose one of those too.  On Nicholas’ nights we almost always went to Taco Bell, and Danielle’s choice wavered between McDonald’s and Burger King.  A couple of the rules were that no one was allowed to complain about the restaurant when it was someone else’s choice, and whoever got to choose that week was responsible for the “Question of the Day” for each dinner that week, both at home and at the restaurant on Friday night.  The Question of the Day had to be an open-ended one that invited story-telling or a conversation starter, and it had to be a different question each night.  Whoever was responsible for the evening’s Question of the Day had to answer first, and then each person in subsequent age order had to answer the same question—no passing.  We got to talk about pretty regular events, such as explaining something we had learned that day, and fantastical questions, like who would we cast to play ourselves in a movie, or what super powers we wished we had and what we’d do with them.  Danielle’s favorite kind of question early on was “What’s your favorite…” (Carebear?, cartoon character?, fruit?, sport?).  As the kids got older, the questions got better, as did the restaurant choices.  We tried to branch out and check out new restaurants as they opened or as we heard about them from friends.  As Doug came into our lives, he too became part of the Friday night ritual and rotation.  Also as the kids grew older, it became harder to sit down every night during the week for a meal due to increased demands of the kids’ activities, but that Friday night was sacred for more than a dozen years.  Even in lean times, when money was scarce, I clung doggedly to that tradition.  

So back to this past Friday night.  Brianna still participates when she’s in town visiting, and we automatically bump it up to her choice when she’s there.  Both Nicholas and Danielle have had to miss on occasion, and sometimes we move it to Thursday night to accommodate schedules.  It’s become trickier, though.  As a 20 year old, Nicholas has a work schedule that often includes a Friday night shift, and that was true this past week.  He comes when he can, but he’s growing up and moving on, and this last Friday found Danielle, Doug, and me at Chili’s, just the three of us.  It was a bit of a nostalgic sort of evening, since we are nearing graduation for Danielle.  I don’t know really how it had never occurred to me, but I suddenly realized that Family Dinner Nights, which have been such an important part of our family traditions over the years, is nearing its end.  Nicholas will still be in Fresno with us, and when we can we’ll still go out to dinner on Friday nights, but Danielle is going away to school, as her sister did.  She has two more months at home, and then there will be no more regular dinners at home—or out.  She’s branching out into a new beginning, as we all did together more than a dozen years ago.  She’ll be forming her own new traditions and rituals as she traverses this new path, and I’m excited to see what those will be.  But for me, that truly does mean the end of an era here.  She is my last, and there are things that I am just now realizing, truly, will ‘graduate’ with her when she goes.  There will be exciting things about the ways in which our lives—all of our lives—will change moving forward, but I am sure that this is only one of a great many things I haven’t even realized yet how much I will miss when they’re gone.  I have always known I would miss my kids when they weren’t part of my every day routine; I am only just now beginning to realize how much of my routine is about my kids.  We’re going to have to figure out new traditions to forge together, apart.  I’m going to have to find new beginnings out of my endings.