Well, I Didn't See THAT Coming...

March 28, 2022 Like a lot of people I know, I love to watch the Oscars every year. I love the glamour of all the dresses and unique suits, the love letter to the art of film and the craft of story-telling, and the speeches that never fail to make me cry. The past couple of Covid years gave rise to unprecedented changes to the ceremony, like it did to nearly everything else. This year, I was looking forward to a return to a more normal Oscars. Initially, it felt like it was going to be just that. There were some beautiful moments, there were some humorous moments. There was the celebration of movies that made me want to plan a movie marathon in the near future. And then... Chris Rock came up to present, and he did his brand of humorous banter. Topical, a little edgy but relatively tame, appropriate for the audience and moment. And then he turned his eye and wit to Jada Pinkett Smith. His flippant joke referenced Jada's medical condition, alopecia, about which she has recently spoken publicly. She has struggled with hair loss and has made peace with it, it seems, and showed up looking positively regal and beautiful at the awards show. Chris rock saw her sitting near the front of the stage, and took his shot. Will Smith appeared to laugh at the joke at first, but Jada did not, and immediately after his initial reaction, Will Smith quickly and boldly strode on stage and slapped Rock across the face, hard. On live, national television. It was so surreal that at first it seemed it had to be staged. Rock's reaction, as he carried on after Smith stormed off stage, was professional but he was clearly stunned and rattled. Smith continued to rail and rage from his seat before the show continued on as before. Smith would later accept his Oscar with a tearful apology to the Academy, to his family, and to the other nominees, among others. Chris Rock was not among those who would receive an apology on the stage (though it would come a day later). There's a lot to unpack here. First of all, although comedy does push boundaries, it is a particular brand of meanspiritedness that seeks to find laughter at the expense of those with medical conditions or issues about which they have no control. Chris Rock says his joke was in reference only to a movie, rather than her condition, but her condition is the thing that made Rock reference that particular movie (G.I. Jane). I don't buy it. You want to make fun of people's choices? Sure. But a difficult medical condition? Not okay. And honestly, even though Pinkett Smith had made a post about her acceptance of her new look on Instagram, that doesn't make it public fodder for someone's amusement. Her call, not anyone else's. That being said, Smith was absolutely out of line. I like Will Smith. I always have. His every-boy charm is one of the things that make him so relateable and charming for so many people. So this side of Smith was so out of the norm that his behavior was shocking. It would have been shocking from anyone, of course, in that arena of general goodwill and decorum, but especially so for Smith. Everyone in the room collectively gasped. Even when he won his Oscar twenty minutes or so later, and he issued his tearful apology, it lacked what it really needed to garner a true acceptance--accountability. He apologized, was shamefaced at his behavior, but said he was doing it to protect his wife, his family. He chose to excuse his behavior by justifying it, couching in terms of loving his family. He wanted to be a beacon of love, a model of standing up and protecting those who need it. But no, Will Smith, one does not become a model, a beacon of love by assaulting someone. That does not a beacon of light make. That does not justify the actions. To be a true model is to act and speak in love, which is much harder to do with those with whom you disagree. I do not mean to imply he should have sat impassively by while he felt his wife was being attacked, but there were many other ways to handle it. To address Rock man-to-man after the event, or back stage, and for him to demand a public apology from Rock at the event would be one way to handle it. To have made his point deliberately, openly in his acceptance speech and to denounce that kind of mean-spirited 'comedy'. I know he didn't know if he was going to win, but it certainly would be a possiblity. He could have made some public commentary (as he did subsequently) through his social media, which would of course have a wide and far-reaching audience. His behavior was inexcusable. Lastly, I am appalled that Smith was allowed to remain in the audience after the assault. He should have been escorted out. I can think of very few others in that room who would have been given the same sort of grace in that moment. I am guessing many people thought it would be too awkward to figure out on the fly how to address his potential win if he had only minutes before been removed for his behavior, but that is not reason enough to look the other way at a physical attack. If they were worried about lack of decorum and awkward recovery, Will Smith had already crossed that bridge. He was allowed to save face because it was too uncomfortable to have to address it outloud, and that is no reason to close one's eyes to an assault. In the aftermath, both Smith and Rock have come out, most assuredly with the help of their publicists, to make public apologies, as they should. Calmer heads are prevailing, and they are each owning their poor behavior and choices. Certainly some of the apology is an attempt to regain their status as affable, loveable entertainers, rather than pure, true contrition, but it's a start. They both played their role in sullying what might otherwise have been a beautiful and momentous night, and they will both have much work to do, publicly and personally, to regain what they lost on Sunday night.

Oscar Contender: Movie Night

March 25, 2022 In my quest to see as many Oscar nominated films as possible before the Academy Awards (at which I will fail miserably this year), I wanted to have a movie night tonight. I have only seen West Side Story so far, and we were limited to what was available for streaming. That left us with Don't Look Up as our option tonight. I invited Rafe over to join Danielle and me for dinner, and then we watched the show. Honestly, JenniferLawrence, Leondardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep, and Jonah Hill were all very good in this film, as one would expect them to be. It was a pretty strong social satire, albeit quirky and odd. I enjoyed it, as did Danielle and Rafe, but I also suspect it was too non-traditional to take away Oscar gold on Sunday night.

Hanging With Danielle

March 23, 2022 Danielle's spring break is this week, so she's off from teaching and decided to come home and spend the week with me. Sadly, it is not my spring break, so I don't get quite as much time as I would like with her. Wednesdays are my long days, since I teach at night in addition to my day job, but I still told her if she didn't mind eating late I would make us dinner and we could hang out after class. I set something up in the crockpot so that I could spend less time in the kitchen, and so that a lot of it would be ready by the time I got home from class. We dished it up and curled up in front of the t.v. to watch the live-action version of Aladdin, with Will Smith, and then we watched tik toks together. I feel bad for her because she's been a little sick on this vacation, but even getting to spend quiet relaxing time together was really nice.

When Movies Sound Like Real Life

 February 11, 2022

There's a movie that is trending right now called The Tinder Swindler, about a man who used the Tinder app to con women.  Women who fell for him and his lavish lifestyle didn't realize that they were, in fact, funding that opulent and extravagent lifestyle.  It's hard to believe that women could be fooled into sending money to a man they really don't know, but it's also difficult to believe that there are people who make a living preying on people's faith and trust in this way.  And yet, I have actually come across at least one of those men in my own experiences with dating apps, a year or two ago. 

A man reached out to me and relatively quickly wanted to switch to texting instead of using the app.  Weirdly, we also switched to email as well, which in retrospect makes me think that perhaps it was easier for him to check spelling and grammar in that format, rather than through the phone.  We chatted, and according to him, he was from my city, but had temporarily relocated to South America for a big architectural project that he had won the bid for.  Supposedly the project was going to make him very wealthy, but he didn't want to be that far away from his mother or son for the amount of time the project would take, so he relocated them with him temporarily.  He seemed articulate, genuine, and interested in learning more about me.

The first few exchanges were fun; getting to know someone new can be exciting. However, I am a relatively reserved person until you get to know me, and his 'affection' for me seemed to grow at a speed with which I was uncomfortable.  Within a few days he was saying I seemed to be a person he could spend the rest of his life with--his soulmate. He also said he had shown my dating profile picture to his son who, according to him, said I looked like the kind of person who could become his new mother.  

Okay--so that was weird.  I told him we didn't know each other yet, but he continued to insist that we seemed a perfect match.  He wanted to send me a token of his 'affection' for me, but I told him I didn't give my address to anyone I hadn't met in person so that would not be happening.  He said he understood.

On the sixth day (SIXTH DAY!), he texted me and told me he was having a tough morning because his mother had been rushed to the hospital.  I told him I was sorry to hear it, and that I hoped she recovered quickly.  That evening, he texted and said that his mother was awaiting treatment, but they wouldn't give her proper treatment unless he paid $9,000 up front.  Sadly, his partner in his architectural firm had run back off to the United States with most of their business funds (which he would recover when he got paid for the completed bridge project he was working on), but for the time being he only had $4,000 in his bank account.  He texted, "Hon, would you please send me the other $5,000 so that I can get my mother's treatment started? Of course I will pay you back double when I finish the bridge."  Staring at the phone, I laughed out loud.  Do people actually fall for this kind of thing? Does this actually work?  I texted back and simply said I didn't have the money.

The next day he texted again, pleading with me to send him $5,000.  I told him I had never met him, and I had only just started texting him less than a week ago; there was no way I was goinig to send him that kind of money.  He said he couldn't believe that I hadn't turned out to be the kind and loving woman he thought he had been talking to.  I quit responding.  He tried one more time, to no avail.

I reported him to the dating app I had met him on, and then I did a reverse image search on his profile picture.  That led me to a Facebook group that was basically a clearinghouse of reports of dating app scammers--a kind of word-to-the-wise message board.  'His' picture was juxaposed to someone else's photo--the real man behind the texts and emails, based out of Africa.  He had scammed women out of thousands of dollars--some as much as $50,000.  Some of them cleaned out their retirement or their life savings for him.  I read incredulously of all of the accounts of women who had lost their hearts and their money to these scammers.  It was pretty heart-breaking, really.  These women so desperately wanted to believe in love and in the hope for a future with someone too good to be true, that they were willing to set aside their sense of scrutiny and skepticism and found themselves taken advantage of.  

Now I am an optimist, and a romantic.  I truly am.  But I think this man got sloppy, got greedy.  I'm not sure what else accounts for the fact that he decided to ask me for money within a week, but in most of the accounts I'd read about, the many took many more weeks or months to develop a relationship before the women were asked to send money for various reasons.  Thankfully, I didn't get invested in this false persona he was developing so that I only saw it as a pretty ridiculous circumstance that I found myself in, rather than a devastating, heartbreaking loss of love, with awful finiancial side effects.

Academy Awards Nominations!

 February 8, 2022

The annual announcement of the Academy Awards nominees happened today.  I always try to see most, if not all, of the Best Picture nominees before the awards show.  Because I haven't been in the theaters much this year, there are so many of the movies I haven't seen yet.  I have seen West Side Story, but I've got some serious catching up to do to watch the rest of the films.   Luckily, it shouldn't be too hard to see many of them on streaming platforms; I just need to map out which ones to watch first.  I am also hopeful that there will be a showing of the Oscar nominated short films.  Over the years I have been fortunate enough to catch a showing in the theaters most years, but if they stream them again as they did last year, I am willing to watch them from the comfort of my own home.  I love the big, full feature films, but there is something really mesmerizing about the animated and live-action short films.  They are usually very powerful.  I am very excited about letting these films guide my movie-watching for the next couple of months.

If This is the First Dozen Days, What's Next?

 January 11, 2022

Even before we hit 2022, we lost the great icon, Betty White.  Now, Betty White was 99 and we knew that she was going to go sometime, but it still came as a shock.  Then seemingly just after the ball dropped to herald in the new year, we lost Sidney Poitier and Bob Saget? Not cool, 2022, not cool.  You don't think we've already suffered enough at the hands of '20 and '21? I already don't like the direction you're heading....

Alan Rickman

January 14, 2016

Severus Snape, The Sheriff of Nottingham, Colonel Brandon, Harry, Hans Gruber...

He was genuinely one of my favorite actors.  He breathed life into his characters and filled the screen with his presence.

Rest in peace, Alan Rickman.

David Bowie

January 11, 2016

We woke up this morning, and I think the news hit both Doug and me harder than we expected: David Bowie had died at the age of 69.  I think, in addition to Bowie being undeniably gifted, creative and iconic, it has struck us that this is the beginning of losing people who rose to their heights in our own lifetime--they belonged, so to speak, to our generation.  There are others who have died whose incredible talents have been lost too early--Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, to name just a couple--but this dying of disease, of time playing out its song on the human body and winding to a close, well it serves as a reminder of the temporal nature of us all.  And that's a melancholy song indeed.

Reel Life

March 13, 2013

Doug and I watched Freakonomics tonight--a movie I have been interested in since I read the book a few years ago.  Fascinating stuff.  I will say, however, that if you've read the book, you could probably go ahead and pass on the movie, since it's not so much beautifully or artfully telling a story as it is stringing together vignettes and anecdotes that question societal assumptions.  These vignettes, which use statistics and social constructs to illuminate flaws in cause/effect thinking in our world, are engagingly presented in the book--enough so that the visual representation in the film doesn't particularly further illuminate the ideas presented there.  (That being said, if you haven't read the book, and don't intend to do so, by all means, watch the movie.  It's really interesting to think about 'truth' is spun, either purposefully or inadvertently.)

Watching the movie, however, did get me thinking about some of the other documentaries that I've watched over the years that I've really enjoyed.  I went through a period of time when I sought out all kinds of documentaries.  I'm sure during that time there were many I don't remember right now off the top of my head, so my list here is not by any means comprehensive.  I'm sure I'll leave some fantastic ones off the list that I've seen, and of course there are several more that are on my To-Watch list that I simply haven't found the time for yet--but I will.


1  Murderball--a moving and riveting look at a man whose tragic car accident leaves him a paraplegic.  Sound weepy and sad?  Not in the least.  Zupan, the central figure, is an imposing and charismatic man who is part of a highly competitive wheelchair rugby team.

2.  Spellbound--Many of my friends hear that my husband and I watch the Scripps Spelling Bee each year, glued to the three days of coverage, and they attribute the draw to the fact that I'm an English teacher.  Who else could possibly be interested in a spelling bee, after all?  I defy you to watch the documentary Spellbound, which follows contestants and their families during one season of the Scripps Bee, and not tune in the following year.  The kids, quirky and funny and unique, have wonderful personalities that really have you rooting for the finalists at the end.

3.  The Seven Up Series--a social documentary that follows fourteen children of varying classes and backgrounds and then revisits them each seven years in a new installment of the documentary series.  We see these children grow through elementary, secondary, college, career and family.  The series explores the way in which social class and family background determine one's path in life.  The latest installment, which I have not yet watched, is 56 Up.  Thus far, only one of the subjects has dropped out of the project.

4.  March of the Penguins--I don't care too much for birds, and cold weather--especially arctic weather--is even more unappealing.  Despite this, March of the Penguins was a wonderful film to share with my daughter.  We see the lives of these penguins, who are social, communal creatures in a way that makes us feel connected to them and empathetic to their difficult existence.

5.  Super Size Me--Morgan Spurlock takes on thirty days of a McDonald's exclusive diet to illustrate the negative health effects on the body.  His physician keeps close tabs on him throughout, because the assumption is that this kind of a diet is bound to be potentially dangerous.  And it is.  Suffice it to say that after watching the movie, my husband quit McDonald's cold turkey, and hasn't been back in the several years since.

6.  Sicko--Love him or hate him, Michael Moore has a way of bringing attention to his subject matter.  In this one, he takes on the way we mete out health care in the United States, in contrast to the cost and access available in other countries.  Illuminating.

7.  Bowling for Columbine--Another Michael Moore film that takes on our relationship with guns and assumptions about the culture of violence in the United States.

8.  Searching for Sugarman--an Oscar winner this year about the search for a musician presumed dead, according to the mythology surrounding him.  Although he languished in relative obscurity here in the United States, his music became the anthem of a generation a world away.

9.  The That's Entertainment Series--There are three of these, and truth be told, the best one is the first, while the two follow-up installments appear to merely try to carry on the feel-good atmosphere of the first.  That's Entertainment is a love song to MGM studios to celebrate their 50th anniversary, and it brings together clips from the heyday of the MGM big production numbers and Hollywood sweetheart stars from the early years.  As a movie lover, it was a must-see for me.

10.  That's Dancing--The 80's saw a companion to That's Entertainment that focused on dancing in the movies from the early days to contemporary films. From Astaire to Michael Jackson, fancy footwork abounds.

11.  King of Kong--It's Spellbound for the arcade video game world.  You can't look away. 

Bridesmaids Movie Night

March 25, 2012

My girlfriend Julieann is a pretty amazing person. Just one of the amazing things about her is that she lets me hang out with her. Another amazing thing? She has a knack for throwing a party. She's all about theme (that may be the English teacher in her). This week we had a Girlfriends' Movie Night, which as far as I'm concerned, she's famous for. If it were me, I'd invite a few friends over, pop in the dvd, and maybe halfway through remember that a good hostess might offer her guests something to drink--which I would have forgotten to purchase ahead of time. Not Julieann, though. She puts time and effort and forethought into her shindigs.

Our movie of choice for this week was Bridesmaids. (If you haven't seen it, you really should. Granted, it's a little low-brow in some spots--it's been called the females' answer to The Hangover--but if that sort of thing doesn't turn you away from movies, you'll probably really love the movie. It's pretty hilarious.) Anyway, Julieann asked us to bring old bridesmaids dresses to show off when we arrived, which I dutifully did. She served food fondue-style, with a chocolate fountain as the centerpiece, which if you've seen the movie, you'll recognize is a nod to the bridal shower scene. She had also created a game where we had to match movie quotes (about friendship/relationships/weddings) to the movies from which they came. Trying to guess if the quote came from Beaches or Say Anything or Finding Nemo or Casablanca, etc., proved more challenging than I would have expected--and I'm a big movie fan! I did not, of course win, because I never win those things. Besides, I didn't have google by my side helping me out, either, not that I'm saying anyone else did. Or didn't.

Unfortunately, we experienced some real technical glitches in the program, but that didn't stop us from having a great time, talking, laughing, singing, and dancing while we took turns trying to make the computer and the t.v. and the projector and the speakers all talk to each other. Turns out, after much wrangling and cajoling inanimate electronic objects, they didn't really want to learn how to speak to each other. We gave up trying to watch in the front room and just all piled into Julieann's bedroom, where the t.v. was smaller, but it actually played the dvd. Small compromise! We didn't care; it was just like one big adult girl slumber party, complete with talking and giggling and eating. Girls need this. We crave this. We are moms and wives and girlfriends and such, and we love those roles, but we have to be able to cultivate and cherish our sisters--sisters by blood or by choice. We GET each other. We KNOW each other. We are better moms and wives and girlfriends when we get the chance to celebrate with our sisters now and then. Celebrate the big things, like weddings, and celebrate the small things, like Movie Night. If you're looking for a big, theme-y message in Bridesmaids, that's what it is, in case you were wondering.

Also, in true Julieann form, she gave us all a parting gift at the end of the evening. For those of you who have seen the movie, you'll also recognize this little homage to bridal shower scene in the movie: we each got to take home a little stuffed puppy. (I took two, in my own little homage.) But, honestly, we got to take home something so much better--the reminder that we all need to get together much more frequently. These times are good for the soul.

Jamie, Julieann, Me, and Heather

All the girls

Miss Julieann

Big Red Carpet Night

February 27, 2012

Oscar Night--one of our favorite nights of the year! Our annual tradition continued, with several friends dressing up and participating in the Oscar pool. With almost comic predictibility, David Krepp ultimately won, guessing the most number of correct Oscar wins. He has yet to be able to make the journey to actually be with us on Oscar night, and yet he has managed to win at least four times by sending his ballot in absentee. It might even be five--I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm wrong. This year, he even shipped our Oscar back to us the day before the event, on the off chance that someone else would be bringing home the gold this year. It turns out, he could have just kept the guy for another year. In addition to pool, we held our highly anticipated Appetizer Contest. The winner this year was Chocolate Pie by Michelle, as a tongue-in-cheek homage to Best Picture nominee The Help. Poor Doug was the only one not in on the joke, as he didn't see the film and The Terrible Awful that Minnie did to that pie in the movie....

The fabulous MCs for the night, with the requisite comic banter:

Joe, Pat, Doug, Jim, and Victor, vying for Oscar gold (and David by proxy, naturally):
Ladies vying for the gold--Michele, me, Michelle, Rosa, and Julieann:

Julieann's practicing her acceptance speech.

Oscar Party, Take 6

February 28, 2011

And the winner is...all of us! Sunday night we hosted our sixth annual Oscar party, complete with a contest for the most correct Oscar picks and an appetizer contest. Perrenial front-runner David won the Oscar pool by proxy--he's a Bay Area guy and has never yet been able to make it to the party, though his ballot is painstakingly researched and always lands somewhere in the top three. Next year, though, he assures us he'll put in a real appearance, even if it means he'll have to take Monday off in order to do it. Last year's winner, Victor, came in a close second. I'm sure he was hoping he wasn't going to have to relinquish his Oscar statuette, but I suppose he'll have to come back next year to try to reclaim it.

Our appetizer contest makes for a yummy accompaniment to the festivities. We had pulled-pork sandwiches, meatballs, chili, cheese puffs, fried rice, cheese and corn dip, cookies, and cake all entered in the contest. Yes, we take the term 'appetizer' a little loosely, but it all just means we get lots of tasty food. This year's winner was D'Leo, with the pulled-pork sandwiches nobody could get enough of. I know some people who are already plotting what they can make next year to take the top spot in the competition, which is only good news for those of us who reap the benefits of all that fabulous planning and cooking.

Michele, Kelly, Rosa, and Me
Oscar--heading back to David's house for the next year.
Victor and Michelle
Doug and me
Courtney and Justin
Kelly and Rosa
Jim, looking like Secret Service
Jimmy and Doug
Christy and D'Leo
Movie fans, seat-fillers, paparazzi, and the like

We're Putting on a lot of Mileage This Week

February 21, 2011

This is going to be quite a busy week, but in a really good sort of way. That being said, this is something like what my driving map will look like:Brianna's got auditions for "Hairspray," on Wednesday, possibly with callbacks on Friday. Nicholas has track practice every day after school, plus his first track meet on Thursday. Danielle has softball practice every day after school except for Wednesday. She'll find out this week whether she'll be on A, B, or C team, so it's a big week for her. She also has an indoor soccer game on Friday evening and on Saturday afternoon.

This week is also my brother-in-law's birthday, so there's a pizza party gathering tomorrow night in his honor. My sister-in-law Julie is making a trip out from Washington with her new baby Nathan this week, so on Friday night we are having a reunion pizza party for all family and friends to gather together to visit with her. (And I finally get to meet my new nephew!)

In addition, this week we've got to work on Danielle's biography project and Nicholas' History Day project, both of which still need a lot of revision and supervision. Bree also has an orthodontist appointment, at which time hopefully they'll give us a definitive answer on when she will finally get those things off--we've got senior pictures to schedule. Finally, we've got to figure out how to find the time to make the house clean and sparkly before our annual Red Carpet Oscar Party this coming Sunday.

Busy, busy, busy, but I'm totally looking forward to the week!

Eclipse Premiere, Pictureka, and Mel's Diner

July 7, 2010

At the end of June we took a long-awaited trip down south to visit Lisa and the girls. Our visit was packed and the time just flew by. We got there late on the evening of the 30th, just in time to get in line for the midnight premiere of Eclipse. Some of Lisa's neighbors were already at the theater, saving places in line for us. It was like one big block party. Even Nicholas, who hadn't seen the first two movies, was a good sport about seeing a movie geared primarily at the female half of the species. He wasn't that into the whole Edward/Bella up-close-and-personal-shots, and certainly the Jacob-with-his-shirt-off scenes didn't do much for him (he was a little non-plussed by the cheers of twelve year old girls in the audience), but the idea of the vampire-werewolf showdown was definitely appealing to him. The girls, naturally, had a great time as well.
The next day, although we were all pretty tired, we headed down to Hollywood to watch the taping of a new kids' game show called Pictureka. It hasn't even premiered yet, but we were there for the last two episodes of the season. According to the warm-up guy Jake, our episodes are set to air a year from November. Talk about delayed gratification! It was a long day, but it was a lot of fun to get to see all the different segments being filmed. Devin, Danielle, and Bailey were small enough to be seated in the front row, so every time they panned the audience they got an up close view of the girls cheering and clapping. They'll probably get lots of screen time when we finally get to see the show over a year from now. Can you set a DVR recording that far in advance?

The kids, singing along to Journey in the car on the way to the taping. I love that our kids can totally rock out to 80s songs!
After the taping, we were all starving. Laura, who had joined us for the game show, suggested Mel's Diner right near the studio. It's a 50's style burger and shakes sort of a joint, with enormous and tasty onion rings. We ate, chatted, laughed, and took lots of pictures (of course!). It was the perfect end to our day.