Thanksgiving 2009

November 29, 2009

My sister Lisa was able to come up from Corona to spend Thanksgiving with us this year. Both her kids and my kids have been beside themselves waiting to see each other again. (I just love how much our kids love each other!) Jim (who is the closest thing to a brother that I have, besides my ACTUAL brother) hosted the feast at his house this year, taking on the turkey duties, along with gravy, candied yams (which I just don't get, but his daughter Kathryn really likes), mashed potatoes, green beans, pumpkin pie (made by Kathryn), just to name a few dishes. At my house, we cooked the ham, dressing, corn, rolls, and deviled eggs before packing it all up and heading to Jim's for dinner.

At Jim's we all took turns sharing what we were thankful for before digging in and relishing the food and conversation. Things we were thankful for varied from being thankful that we could all be together to being thankful for Team Edward (my niece, Taylor) to being thankful for rolls (Nicholas was hungry!)

After letting our (quite) full bellies settle a bit, Doug broke out the karaoke, and we all took turns singing for hours. Doug has an amazing library of karaoke songs, so we were able to sing 80s pop, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Shania Twain, Frank Sinatra, Kings of Leon--you name it! Everyone got up and took turns singing solo, duets, and background. Perfect family entertainment for a family kind of day.

Giving Thanks

November 26, 2009

There are a great many things for which I am thankful this Thanksgiving, not the least of which are:

I am thankful for a husband who knows all of my insecurities, shortcomings, and idiosyncrasies, and still loves me in spite of them, or maybe even because of them, with his whole heart.

I am thankful for three amazing children, who are big-hearted, affectionate, and loving human beings. I love the beautiful people they are, and the bright futures I see ahead of them.

I am thankful for the health of my family.

I am thankful for the love and support of all of the members of my extended family, who are so important to me.

I am thankful that my sister and her girls are able to visit often enough that our kids feel like they get to grow up together, and that she and I remain closer than ever.

I am thankful for a beloved group of close friends who make every gathering a homecoming of sorts, and a rejuvenation for the soul.

I am thankful for an amicable partnership with my ex-husband in raising our kids with their best interests at heart.

I am thankful for teachers who have genuine spirits and positive influences as they help guide my children along their educational paths.

I am thankful for a home to live in in this tough economy, and more than enough food to feed my family, and plenty of clothes to keep us warm through the winter.

I am thankful to have a job in a time when the unemployment rate is frighteningly high.

I am thankful for friends at work who make my job a pleasant place to be.

I am thankful for students who make it a joy to go to work most days.

I am thankful for the technology we have that allows us to connect and reconnect with loved ones and friends old and new.

I am thankful to see random acts of kindness, small courtesies, smiles for strangers, and willingness to help those in need still alive and well in our world. Sometimes you have to look for them, but they're there.

I am thankful for a generally positive and optimistic outlook, which helps me choose to seek out the good in circumstances that come my way.

Road Trip!

November 25, 2009

I love family vacations--I think my kids are pretty fabulous people to hang out with. But every once in awhile, (and believe me, it's been way too long!) what I really want is a get-away for just Doug and me. This past weekend, the kids were with their dad, so we decided to jump in the car and head to the Bay Area to visit some of our favorite people in the world.
Often when we visit David and Carrie and Freya, we go out to eat, we run around town a bit, take walks--pretty low key and incredibly relaxing. This time, though, we didn't even leave their place the whole weekend; we just reveled in the company, the conversation, and the comfort of people we are truly at home with no matter what we're doing together. We were thrilled that Clarke, a long-time friend to us all, was able to come spend Saturday night with us. I adore Clarke--he's got such a beautiful soul--and even though we don't get to see him nearly often enough, whenever we see him it's like no time at all has passed.

Sunday night Carrie made us all dinner (after she worked all day, no less!) and we got to hang out with more of our extended, extra family--Laurie, Mitchelle, and Gryphon. There was much giggling and playing and chatting and laughing. The kids had a great time, too--ha ha! Gryphon has such a beautifully infectious smile, and Freya's eyes just magically light up when she's happy. I just loved playing with them and watching them play with each other.
I always look forward to spending time with David and Carrie. The four of us just have such an easy, familiar rapport, as if we've known each other for many lives. And my goodness, I've loved seeing how amazing they are as parents, too. Carrie absolutely comes alive in the presence of her daughter--it's magical and palpable. She is the kind of mom I try to be (but am not always successful in the attempt). And David's eyes and smile are filled with love whenever he sees Freya; he's such a big playful teddy bear with her.


Yes, it was a long awaited road trip, and well worth the wait. I feel so blessed that we have such great friends.

CSF Trip

November 25, 2009

Last Thursday and Friday I got to chaperone the annual CSF college visitation trip. Our destinations were UC Davis and UC Berkeley. What was especially fun about this trip was that Bree and several of her friends came, so I knew most of the kids on the trip.

Our Davis tour was beautiful. Great weather, amazing facilities, lovely campus. The kids were a bit skittish, though, because the primary mode of transportation for students was cycling, and man, those cyclists were aggressive! I heard the kids more than a few times mutter that they were nervous about crossing the roads for fear of being run down.

Highlights of the campus visit for me were getting to meet up for lunch with my former student, Brittany (one of my all-time favs!), hanging out with some great work friends (Mary, Brook, and Amy), and getting to see the student protest regarding UC tuition hikes.
The next day, our Berkeley leg of the journey, was not quite as much fun. The campus was great, and I actually ran into four or five former students, which was an unexpected surprise, but the weather was much more uncooperative. It was gray and cloudy at first, but in the middle of the tour, we got caught in an absolute deluge of rain. Our group of forty-eight kids was sharing approximately twenty umbrellas, so most of us got soaked to the bone. Also, as might be expected, the UC tuition protest had an even stronger base in Berkeley, so some of the areas we might have seen on the tour were closed off to us, as there was a sit-in in progress and several buildings closed due to pulled fire alarms. Nevertheless, it was exciting to have the students see real political activism in progress.

Literary Food Festival

November 24, 2009

Every once in awhile, my students ask to have a little party in class--you know, to break the monotony, take a break from the stress of all the work. Mostly though (I'm not fooled even a little bit), it's because they try anything to exercise Advanced Senioritis. (My freshmen ask for parties, too. Senioritis starts quite early with some of these children.) Anyway, I have a hard time justifying having a random party, but honestly sometimes I'd like a little break too, especially with my A.P. students. Instead of a party, we have what I call a Literary Food Festival.

At the Literary Food Festival, students can bring in any food to share with the class, but they have to tie it in some way to a piece of literature. They each have to do a mini-presentation on what they brought, and why. See? We're learning about literary allusions and symbols, but deliciously. I tell them the allusion can be to any book, from children's books to pop fiction to classics. In a less creative year, we'll get lots of plates of cookies, alluding to If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Tasty, but not so much thinking outside the box. This year, I was quite impressed with some of the offerings:

Breakfast at Tiffany's--(Breakfast=Pancakes. Tiffany's=Turquoise Packaging. Turquoise Pancakes!)

Harry Potter Cupcakes

Harry Potter--Golden Snitch Cupcakes

Alice in Wonderland--The cookies she ate that made her shrink

Lord of the Flies (A bit of a stretch, but great effort. Had the boys been left to their own devices--had they NOT been rescued, goes the explanation, they might have resorted to cannibalism. Check out the cookies: hand-shaped, foot-shaped, tongue-shaped, kidney-shaped, intestine-shaped, etc.)

And finally, the winner for both the most creative AND grossest has no corresponding picture but is worth including by explanation. We had just finished reading Oedipus Rex, so we were served two small scoops of vanilla ice cream. On each scoop was one chocolate-covered raisin, representing Oedipus' eyes. And over the top? Ooey-gooey strawberry syrup. Get it? Oedipus' eyes after he plucked them out with his wife's brooch!

Happy Birthday, Nicholas!

November 22, 2009

Thirteen years ago today, I was staring into the eyes of my newborn baby boy for the first time. I was scheduled to be induced at 6 a.m., but Nicholas had other plans. By about 2:30 a.m., it became clear to me that we weren't going to have to wait to be induced, and we headed to the hospital. My first pregnancy and delivery went pretty smoothly, and I was fortunate that this one went almost as well. The only thing I really remember during the actual delivery was that it was much harder than I remembered from the first time around. I told one of the nurses that something was different this time around, and she just smiled sweetly and said, "It just seems that way, because God lets you forget in between pregnancies, so you'll be willing to keep having children." Huh. Interesting theory, but I wasn't buying it, especially not at that particular time. I had no time to ponder her philosophy just then, as I was otherwise occupied.

We seemed to be at a stopping point right around 6. I actually thought he might make Brianna's same arrival time, which was 6:01 a.m., but the boy got stuck. Forceps and vacuum and half an hour later, Nicholas (who would have been named Simba or Figaro if his sister's wishes had been heeded) made his arrival. At 9 lbs. 3 oz., he was a full two and a half pounds bigger than his sister had been at birth. No wonder it had been so much harder--that's a big difference when it comes to baby size!

After checking for the requisite fingers and toes, I gazed into my baby's face, so sweet and well, kind of tiny. At first glance I thought, "Oh no! My baby was born without eyebrows!" But no. On closer inspection, I realized that he was just so fair-haired that his brows were almost invisible. They didn't become obvious parts of his features until well after the age of two.

Nicholas was a great baby, content and pleasant. He had the most wonderful giggle of any baby I've ever known. From early on he was a good sleeper, and a totally cuddly, playful boy. He would wind down his evenings by sucking his thumb and twirling his hair. His favorite way to fall asleep was in my arms. It was my favorite, too. He was my little sweetpea.

And now, my baby boy is all grown up. In the last six months he's gotten taller than me. (It's been great for his posture; he's so proud that he's surpassed me that whenever he walks by me he stretches his spine to his maximum height, just to remind us both that he's ever so slightly taller than me. Clearly, he's not done growing yet, either.) He's also developed the deep "I'm a man now" voice, even though the things that come out of his mouth are still mostly about legos and Star Wars. And you know, even when his words evolve into the words of girls and cars and prospective colleges and beyond, Nicholas will always be my sweet baby boy, my most favorite boy in the whole wide world.

Happy thirteenth birthday, Nicholas!

Somebody's Daughter, Somebody's Sister

November 16, 2009

A couple of weeks ago, Richmond, California made headlines. After a high school dance, a 15-year old girl walked out of the homecoming celebration and into a nightmare that will follow her for all her days.

She left alone, presumably to call her dad to pick her up. Before she made that call however, she met up with a friend of hers who invited her to join his group of buddies, who were drinking in a notoriously dangerous area adjacent to the school. She agreed, and within a very short span of time, consumed enough alcohol to render her nearly unconscious. Should she have declined to join the young men? Probably. Should she have exercised restraint in the consumption of alcohol? Most certainly. Regardless, however, nothing that she did or didn't do made her deserve what happened to her next.

One of the boys suggested they have sex, and she declined. When he came at her, according to witnesses, she kicked him. That was enough to send the alcohol-fueled pack into a rage. They attacked her, held her down, and began a vicious assault. "Rape in concert" is what they call it in legal terms. Gang rape is the more commonly known term. Horrifying as that is, even more abhorrent was that it lasted more than two hours, while a group of kids gathered around to watch, laughing and attempting to take video on their cell phones. For TWO HOURS. Meanwhile, not one person attempted to intervene or call the police. No one did anything to stop it, despite the fact that there were six to ten perpetrators, and up to twenty spectators. In the midst of her attackers, surrounded by 'innocent' bystanders, this young girl was absolutely and utterly alone. And that, my friends, compounds this tragedy exponentially. What does it say about our social mentality that we can so distance ourselves from what is happening right before our eyes? How is it possible to divorce ourselves from such gross inhumanity at our feet?

One of the young men who was arrested and later released for lack of evidence claims that though he was there, he was not one of the violent attackers--he was merely an observer. When asked why he did not call the police, he cites fear of retaliation as the deterrent. I suppose I could understand that. The neighborhood where this took place is known for gangs and crime. Who knows how many concealed weapons might have been at the scene? These are just kids, after all, so is it realistic to expect these high school students to throw themselves into a potentially fatal situation to save one who is in danger? Not everyone is destined to be a hero.

No, I don't expect everyone to be a hero. But to stand silent (or not so silent--there was apparently much cheering and encouraging going on) for the duration without being moved to action--any action--is beyond comprehension. Why couldn't someone have stepped away and made the call, even anonymously? At what point in time does that silence become tacit agreement? Had the victim been one year younger, all of the bystanders could be held legally responsible. It's illegal to watch a crime committed against a fourteen year old without attempting to stop it or report it, but if the victim is fifteen there is no legal responsibility. Who draws that line? I know the rationale behind the law, but ultimately, I'm not nearly as interested in the legality of the situation as I am the morality of allowing another human being to suffer that kind of degradation.

There are those who would argue that it's easy to say what you think you might do when confronted with that kind of situation, heaven forbid. What one should do, in theory, can often go out the window in the heat of the moment. Who are we to judge those people? How can we possibly know what was going through their heads? Still I maintain that a frozen moment of 'deer in the headlights' inaction is miles away from taking pictures on a cell phone camera for two hours. Those young men, including the one who says he does not regret making the call that could have stopped the brutal attack, are in part responsible for the assault. There is a moral culpability for those who became audience to that horrific spectacle. They are responsible for the dehumanization of someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's best friend. And knowing that it wasn't their own daughter, their own sister, their own best friend, does not excuse them from the responsibility of action--any action--that might have spared her the nightmare that will surely be her companion for the rest of her life.

To read the story, click on the link below.
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/east_bay&id=7111732&rss=rss-kgo-article-7111732

Look How Much They Love Each Other...

November 15, 2009















...well, you know, when they're not at each other's throats. It changes minute by minute.

Autumn Beauty

November 15, 2009

This is one of my very favorite things about Fall--the beauty of the changing leaves. It's something I look forward to all year long. These are the trees in my front yard, and I'm lucky enough to get to drive to work every morning along a tree-lined path as well. I love the way the colors herald in the season. By the time the leaves have all changed then dropped to carpet the ground, people are putting up their Christmas lights on their houses so that I have new colors to enjoy. Oh gosh, I love this time of year!

Veterans' Day Humor

November 11, 2009

A few years ago, when the movie "The 40-Year Old Virgin" was new to the rental stores, the kids and I made a trek to the local Blockbuster to rent a Friday night film. When we had made our selections, we headed to the checkout stand to wait in line with several other families who were also waiting to rent their weekend entertainment. Up at the front counter, there was a big poster advertising "The 40-Year Old Virgin." Suddenly, and quite loudly, Nicholas asked, "Mom, what's a virgin?", pointing to the sign. I heard snickers from the other parents behind me as I answered, "Don't worry about it, Sweetie. I'll tell you when we get in the car." (This works for me sometimes when either the kids or I aren't quite ready for a particular conversation--they often forget about it by the time we get into the car.)

"Oh wait, I know!" said Nicholas. "I remember what a virgin is!" He seemed quite excited to share his knowledge.

"Shhh! Don't worry about it! We'll talk when we get in the car." I was blushing, I'm sure, and I could see the other parents out of the corner of my eye, still laughing and glad it wasn't their kids who were asking about virgins in the middle of Blockbuster.

"But I do know, Mommy--I remember! Gramps was a virgin!"

"Shhh! Wait--what??"

"You know...Gramps was a virgin. Uncle Scott is a virgin, too. And isn't Doug a virgin? Because they all fought in wars?"

"Oh, you mean VETERAN! Yes, Gramps and Uncle Scott and Doug are all veterans. They all served in the military. Right!"

And you know, he never did remember later that if the word he was thinking of was veteran, he still didn't know what the word virgin meant.