Priorities

 January 6, 2022

We've been going on for months and months now with some pretty significant, systemic adjustments in the social and financial structures due to Covid-19.  Some of those have been detrimental in a variety of ways of course, and certainly there are some long term effects we haven't seen yet.  I can't help but think, though, that if we have managed to make it this many months making sure every school child has breakfast and lunch for free, and allowing college students (and graduated college students) to move through their lives without having to worry about the crippling monthly debt payments of student loans without having had the whole of society collapse in on itself, then perhaps it is, in fact, doable.  Sustainable.  Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to continue to prioritize, as a society, making sure children don't go hungry and making sure our young adults don't start out in life already so far in the hole that it becomes a debilitaing weight.

Learning Loss in the Time of the Pandemic

 April 21, 2021

Over the course of this past year of the pandemic, one of the greatest concerns I hear many people sharing is the issue of learning loss.  Some students didn't go to school at all at the end of the year last year either virtually or in person.  Some students haven't set foot in a classroom since last March and are continuing all of their education online for the whole of this school year.  And that has many parents (and some teachers) worried about what that will look like when kids return to whatever sense of normalcy we are striving to return to in our educational system. "Our kids are falling further and further behind," is the resounding lament.  "Our kids have lost a whole year of education!"

Falling behind.  Behind whom?  The reality is that yes, many of our kids have not had the full curriculum generally ascribed to a particular year or grade level in school, though it is woefully inaccurate to say that students have gotten no education in the past year.  (I say this as I know every colleague I know is working endlessly to try to reach and teach our kids in person, on zoom, and more often than not, both simultaneously.)  However, this is true of districts across our county, our state, our country, our world.  This was a global health crisis that affected the normalcy of life worldwide, including the landscape of education.  So if time stopped educationally for a year (it didn't), or even slowed somewhat, it in effect did so for ALL of us.  So where are the people who are speeding ahead of the rest of our students as all of this learning loss is taking place? I would even argue that schools across the world that opened up in person in some form before our school did were still wrestling with issues of social and emotional well-being in the wave of this pandemic that superseded some of the traditional learning.  Our kids are not falling behind other kids.

Perhaps what is meant instead is that our kids are falling behind the prescribed timetable of learning.  In first grade, one learns this.  In fifth grade, one learns that.  By eleventh grade, one should have learned these.  Yes, we have these parameters and benchmarks in place.  We have goals and articulated frameworks by which our students are intended to progress.  Goals are good and they are necessary. But they are created by humans.  They are artificial and moveable.  Grade level goals and standards, at the site, state, and federal level have been modified many times, in response to student achievement, educational access, and intellectual/emotional development and maturation.  Every time those achievement goals are modified in keeping with current understanding of all of those factors, the system has adjusted--from grade-level expectations, to standardized testing, to higher education requirements.  These benchmarks are not set in stone; they are man-made and can certainly be readjusted to reflect a realistic response to a global event that affected all of us, including our school-aged children.

I am not suggesting that we go backward, or that we throw out all the articulation that has been done from grade level to grade level in our schools.  But a slight readjustment of the traditional curricular plan might not be such a terrible response.  Nor would it tragic.  Nor would it be especially difficult. Nor would it be permanent, as these goals and benchmarks do, and have, changed over the years.  We have created these timelines, and we are creating a false sense of panic if we lament over the fact that students might fall slightly short of these yearly goals this year and next when we are the ones who can easily redraw the lines of demarcation.

Regardless of whether or not we do, in fact, reconstruct our current construct, we teachers will continue to do what we have always done in our classrooms:  figure out where our kids are, meet them there, and do all that we can to bring them forward to the next levels of learning, understanding, and processing.  I don't worry about learning loss in my classroom; I'm too focused on learning growth.

The Shape of Me

November 19, 2019

I was reminded the other day--not for the first time--that I don't look like I did 15 years ago, as if this were an indictment, something about which to be embarrassed.  Trust me, I know I don't look the same.  I own a mirror, and I can see that I'm 52, and not 37.  Now, 52 looks different on a lot of people, but like many of us, my body shape has changed over the years.  My weight has changed too.  It's not easy for someone who has always struggled with body image (like 98% of the women I know) to maintain a healthy relationship with myself.  Having someone remind me that it's a pretty good reason to negate the other fabulous things I bring to the table can sometimes put me right back into the tailspin of teen angst and insecurity.  Not everyone deals with weight gain as we age, but a great many of us do, and it's just not easy.

Now I certainly don't mean that I have let myself go; I still love to get up and make myself feel presentable for myself every single day.  I like to wear clothes that are flattering, buy cute and charming booties and heels in every imaginable style, and I like to wear a little make-up to bring out the sparkle in my eye and a touch of color in my lips.  I try to work out and watch what I eat.  But yes, as I was reminded, I do not look like I did 15 years ago.  Few do.  So I started thinking about the ways I look different today--a little personal assessment, if you will.

With the passing of the last 15 years, here are just a few of the ways I look different:

--I look like a woman who beams with pride at having raised three pretty incredible humans into adulthood.

--I look like a woman whose world view has expanded through travel to other countries and interactions with other cultures.

--I look like a woman who carries herself with the professional confidence borne of experience and longevity in a work environment in which she thrives.

--I look like a woman who bears worry lines on her forehead and in her heart for all the young lives she cares about in her classroom each year.

--I look like a woman who fought to keep her family afloat during times of financial difficulty when resources were scarce.

--I look like a woman who has smile lines on her face, marking the laughter she has shared with loved ones--friends, students, and family--both the natural-born family and the ones she's chosen as family.

--I look like a woman who has a twinkle in her eye--sometimes mischievous and playful and some times plain joyful--as she looks with love at those who have joined her on her journey of life.

--I look like a woman whose scars tell the story of her triumph over breast cancer.

--I look like a woman who stands tall, having achieved her goal of attaining her Master's degree later in life.

--I look like a woman whose plumper body is evidence of lots of shared meals with loved ones, talking and laughing and dancing together well into late night hours.

--I look like a woman whose heart has grown far more in size than her body ever could by living in love and optimism.

 Yes, I have changed in the past 15 years.  But if you choose to see me through the lens of one who can see only the outline of my shape and determine that's the most important definition of who I am and how I've changed, then my goodness, perhaps it's your lenses that need a little cleaning.  Have I changed? I have.  In ways both grand and microscopic.  My heart, however, and my spirit--those remain the same.  That includes the ability and desire to see the good in others, and the optimism that the best is always around the corner.  I'd rather be loved and supported by those who are able to see through lenses that illuminate that shape ahead of any other.  That is the true shape of me, and I'm damn proud of it.

Now You've Done It

February 3, 2014

I’m not a Coca-Cola consumer in general—most of my soda dollars (which are considerable) go to Pepsico.  I just like the taste better.  Oh, I’m not one of those who would rather drink water than a Diet Coke; that would be silly.  I’ll drink a Diet Coke if Diet Pepsi is not available, but on the whole, brand me Ms. Pepsi.

However, during the Super Bowl yesterday, Coca-Cola did something that gained my attention.  It gained the attention of a lot of folks, actually, because naturally it happened during one of the biggest television-viewing events of the year.  What did they do? They aired a commercial.  It was a simple, feel-good advertisement meant to celebrate all the harmony and diversity in our country.  Or, if you ask others, it was yet another example of the insidious and intentional un-doing of all that makes this a great country.

Any guesses which side of the metaphorical fence I fall on in this debate?  Because there was a debate, of sorts: an immediate flurry of social media posts of both support of and outrage at the advertisement.  The issue at hand?  The commercial showed several successive vignettes of folks singing “America the Beautiful”.  The actors in the commercial were young and old, from the city and from the country, and represented several ethnicities.  And they were singing the song in lots of different languages.  It started off in English, and ended in English as well, but in between, several other languages were represented.  Beautiful, sweet renditions of people singing about the country that they love.

But they weren’t all singing in English, which was the heart of the matter.  I saw Facebook posts which read, “You’ve done it now, Coca-Cola!” and “I guarantee you not one serviceman died in the service of his country so that you could speak another language!”, among others.  Well now, I’m not so sure about that.  Since when is freedom defined as being required to speak one language?  I’m not saying that folks who live in the United States shouldn’t learn English; I think it’s the way one learns to navigate successfully in this society.  But do I think that means they must forsake any other language they might know? Effectively separate themselves from a culture, a history, a family they also call their own?  How arrogant and single-minded to want to negate the multiplicity of culture that is what makes this country so great.

Mind you, I am not here to engage in the “Official Language” debate, or the “English Only Ballot” debate.  Those are separate conversations that involve so much.  Economics. Opportunities for upward mobility. Business.  An informed citizenry.  Even the idea of nationalism and patriotism.   These issues and more all figure into the discussion of whether or not we should call for an “Official Language” of the people, and honestly, there are good, rational points to be made on both sides of that argument.  We are not, however, discussing that issue.  We are discussing how offended we are (or are not) that Coca-Cola dared to air an advertisement where people were singing—celebrating—this beautiful country in just a handful of the languages that represent the vast multicultural landscape of its inhabitants.

I am not offended.  I don’t think one has to forego one language to embrace another.  When one speaks Spanish, for example, where is it written that it means he or she refuses to learn English? Or is somehow ungrateful to have the opportunities they have in this country or is being disrespectful to servicemen who protect the freedoms afforded us here?  This is not an either/or, black and white world we live in.  The richness of experiences, including cultural and social experiences, is what makes this country beautiful, not the absence of difference.  Not whitewashed sameness.

Coca-Cola got my attention, and the attention of a great many others, for better or worse.  And the company knew that it would, and aired the commercial anyway.  They knew they might (and in fact will) lose some customers because of it.  They decided to celebrate diversity and simplicity by highlighting one of our country’s beloved ballads, letting many voices shine, rather than let divisiveness of potential detractors sway them, and for that I have great respect.  They may not always get my soda dollars, but yesterday, they did earn my respect.

Can't We All Just Try to Be Nice?

November 7, 2012

This election season, all the negativity being spouted on Facebook was really getting me down.  As an educator, I don't really feel it's my place to throw all of my opinions out there in the public view, so I really try to refrain from getting involved in any of the discussion threads on the candidates and the issues.  Seeing several people I know and love and respect making derogatory comments and sweeping generalizations about people whose views differed from their own finally prompted me to make my own political stance clear. 

My first post was the day before the election:

Here's my political post: Educate yourself before you go to the polls tomorrow. Don't rely on what someone else has told you about the propositions; go read the texts yourself--the ACTUAL ones, not someone's summary. Don't let someone else make up your mind as to what the 'right' choice is. Read it, think about it, and then vote your conscience and your heart. Your vote is your choice and your right, but goodness gracious, some folks play far too casually with the he-said she-said of political advertisements. (He-said she-said is even worse with the Presidential and Congressional candidates, but sifting through and trying to find objectivity there is especially tricky, at best. My advice there? Try to remember that nothing is quite as black and white as most folks would like it to be. We tend to merely find what we're looking for.) I'm not looking for a debate or affirmation, name-calling or negativity, and it's not my business who or what you vote for. Just vote with care and do the work and reading that it takes to be informed, rather than a mere follower.


My second post was on election night, as the results were being reported and I watched my newsfeed fill up with reactions to the various races and issues we went to the polls to decide.

My friends are my friends because they are caring, intelligent, giving, loving, and interesting people, NOT because they agree with me on all the issues. As it turns out, some of those folks are Republicans, some of them are Democrats, and some of them are Independents. Some of them are Christian, some of them are atheists. Some of them are gay, and some of them are straight. Some of them are business owners, some of them are teachers, some of them are stay-at-home moms, some of them are out of work. Some are tall, some are short, some like chocolate, some can't stand it....on and on and on. My friends aren't my friends because they're ME. I liked them before they voted, and I like them after they voted (and even if they didn't vote at all), because my relationships with my friends aren't predicated on whether or not they voted just like me, and I don't suddenly think my friends are 'idiots' because they have a different viewpoint than mine.


Here's to hoping we can move away from the polarization that has kept us from moving forward.  We're all in this together, folks--perhaps we should begin acting like it.

When a Game is Not Really a Game

May 12, 2011

There's a scene in the novel The Grapes of Wrath where thousands of farmers have migrated to California to seek employment. There are only jobs enough to accomodate a fraction of the workers, and the pay rate for those available jobs is a mere pittance--not enough to adequately care for a family. When the workers attempt to stage a protest, they are cast aside without regard, since there are would-be employees so desperate that they are even willing to work for a smaller wage, despite knowing it's not enough; it is, in fact, inhumane. It gives the employers a sense of power to be able to say, "You'll take whatever we decide to offer, and like it, too, because there's plenty more behind you who would be grateful to step in your shoes."

Here's the thing, though: that kind of power can change the way people operate. It makes them begin to manipulate situations to their own benefit (or for their own capricious whims), It makes them feel like they're playing a game to win. It makes them begin to see their employees as pawns in a chess match. It somehow allows them to distance themselves from the real live human beings they are affecting.

Being grateful for a job in this economy shouldn't mean having to simply accept whatever is being offered, even if it's unsatisfactory, even if it means no longer having a voice, even if it means not being respected as a professional, as an individual. It shouldn't mean being grateful because someone else might just be desperate enough to accept what, ultimately, isn't enough.

That's what I'm feeling like today.

Who Is Steering the Ship?

March 23, 2011

It's the question at the forefront of a lot of minds these days: What's Wrong With Education, and How Do We Fix It? The simple answer to a terribly complex question is there are far too many captains attempting to steer the ship in several directions. Who is the clientele? By whose navigational maps should we chart our course?

Just some of the captains include the following:

--Big business wants productive citizens who can adapt and engage within an existing construct. (Detractors might deem this, disparagingly, 'conformity'. There is something to be said, however, for learning to operate within a social structure, no?)

--Government wants statistics they can use to compare our children to other powerful nations in order to continue to prove to ourselves that we will remain the SuperPower ruler of nations, protector of democracy and freedom for all everywhere. A tall order, and a noble one, but one that certainly doesn't take into account the vast amount of education that takes place within the school walls that doesn't find itself easily reducible to a bubble on a scantron.

--Parents want education to make geniuses of all their children-or at least recognize the genius of their children. The parents also want all of their kids' individual needs met--personal, social, emotional, and intellectual. We are, after all, entrusted with the care of the parents' most precious and important part of their lives. As a parent, I too want all of those needs met for my own kids. As parents, we are concerned about our own children, no matter how many other personal, social, emotional, or intellectual needs have to be met for other kids.

--Teachers want to instill the love of learning, hoping to excite kids about the process of engaging in collective inquiry. No small feat in the face of the testing, testing, testing culture that has now overtaken modern education. And some teachers want kids to learn to follow rules. And some teachers want kids to develop good character. And some teachers want kids to NOT question authority. And yes, some teachers want kids to just keep quiet and not bother them until they retire. (Despite the fact that most of the teachers I personally know truly have a heart to teach kids and help them find their futures, I know it's true that there are teachers who are merely marking time.)

--Universities want kids who are creative, critical thinkers, ready to set the world on fire with solutions to problems we don't even know we'll have yet in our future. They want kids who are articulate in speech and in writing, and who can engage in texts in a meaningful way. They want kids who are aware of the world and self-aware of their place within it.

--Students want to learn. They want to be treated as adults. They want grades to ensure the path to whatever university they want to attend. They also want sports opportunities and they want volunteer opportunities and they want leadership training, and they want organizations to help support their varied extra-curricular interests. They want guidance and they want job training and academic training and they want to know that their teachers see them--really see them--as individuals, as human beings, filled with love and fear and stress and desire and visions of the future, no matter what that future holds. They want to know their teachers care.

These are only some of the captains steering the ship--important captains, all. None of these captains is wrong, none is trying to steer the ship into a storm. All of them have great destinations in mind, and truly, none of the destinations negates another. Think of a destination cruise ship: you could choose to go to Hawaii, Alaska, Australia, or England. If you've chosen to go to Alaska but find yourself on the ship governed by the captain who wants to go to England, you're going to find yourself unsatisfied. Mind you, England's a great destination, full of history and beauty and its own unique culture. It's just not Alaska, you know? If you knew you were still going to get to to Alaska, you probably wouldn't mind going to England. But instead? No, no, that will not do.

We're not going to get anywhere until our captains all get together and recognize the value of each destination. Or we simply choose one (or even vote for one--this is a democracy, after all). We could continue to fight each other, with one captain leading the charge toward his destination of choice, only to have control wrested away by another captain who careens wildly toward another one. We'll never get anywhere if we continue to let this be our path. If we want to actually get somewhere, we've got to do things a little differently. We could, in the end, choose a far-reaching, extended cruise where we visit all of these ideas, these countries, if you will, as complementary stops on the journey, all important, all stops necessary for a full and rich experience in the educational journey.

A journey of this magnitude takes more planning, more thoughtfulness, more resources, more cooperation. It might even be more than we think we have right now. But aren't our children worth it? Isn't our future worth it?

It's Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better

March 6, 2011

Seriously, I'm an optimist. A Pollyanna. A Happy-Day-Sunshine kinda gal. But my goodness the world of education is beginning to look bleak. If I am to understand the vision of things to come, my classes will be much bigger next year, but there will be no money for books or supplies with which to teach the kids. We are already seating 40 in classrooms designed to hold 28--and I teach seniors, many of whom are six-feet-plus guys trying to fit comfortably in comically tiny desks, feet splayed out from underneath, obstacles to anyone trying to navigate the room.

No big deal. What's a few more bodies here and there? But wait. There's also the constant threat of becoming a Program Improvement School-even for the highest ranking schools-because not everyone is improving year to year at a steady and for some, unrealistic pace. Sure, we're making improvements. Our kids are learning, and they are achieving. But the data we depend upon to determine teachers' efficacy in raising all students' test scores can be flawed, can be skewed. And it certainly doesn't take into account less access to resources (due to budget cuts) and bigger class sizes, which will necessarily lead to less teacher-student contact time and fewer assignments given--or fewer assignments which require meaningful feedback in order assess students' progress and in order for students to improve. It also doesn't take into account student motivation, which can be affected by any number of things, including disillusionment and apathy toward the tests themselves, which most of them are wise enough to realize are more often used as a teacher assessment tool than a student assessment, and lack of motivation due to other, more pressing issues in their lives, like perhaps the fact that their parents are losing their homes due to unemployment, and they've got take time they could be studying to pack up. Or to grieve the loss of their childhood home. (Perhaps it makes sense to mention here that some of your teachers are losing their houses as well, due to pay cuts and increases in contributions to cover a health care plan for those who are lucky, pink slips for those who aren't so lucky.)

So, let's see...more kids, fewer resources, questionable data determining effectiveness. Okay, really these aren't new. What else is going on?

Race to the Top, No Child Left Behind--good ideas in theory. Of course we want all kids to succeed; of course we don't want to leave any child behind. Many of us have our own children in the system, and we wouldn't want OUR kids left behind. So how do we make it work? How do we make sure we Leave No Child Behind? (Never mind the fact that not all kids are motivated to put forth an effort. Yes, it is an educator's job to try to encourage and motivate and involve kids, but there really MUST be some responsibility on the part of the students and parents as well.) I am no statistician, but I would guess that the numbers of furlough days school districts are imposing in order to close massive budget gaps can't put us ahead in the Race to the Top. Another budget stop-gap? Eliminating massive numbers of Guidance and Learning Specialists, counselors, nurses, and security staff, not to mention whole programs designed to engage otherwise disenfranchised kids. Kids who have health issues, emotional issues, transitional needs, or difficulty becoming connected on campus are going to have far fewer opportunities to seek help from some of the traditional caregivers on their campuses--they aren't going to be there nearly as often, and when they are, there's going to be a much bigger line to wait in before those folks are available. No Child Left Behind? We'll see how many of those kids with special needs don't feel left behind. And those kids without special needs? Well, they are out of luck, too, because it's going to be a matter of putting out fires, and kids who aren't in immediate distress will fly under the radar, whether they want to or not. I'm certainly not suggesting this is what should happen, or what anyone wants to happen--I'm merely saying that it's an inevitable outcome of the bleak economic forecast.

Is our system of education without flaws? Absolutely not. There are complacent teachers, top-heavy administrations, and students who don't get the attention and care they deserve. These are not the norm, however, and I can't see that vilifying the profession of educators as greedy, lazy, uncaring people just out for an easy paycheck is in any way productive. I can't profess to have all the answers, but I'm fairly certain the polarizing rhetoric in the media isn't going to improve anything. Fostering a sense of distrust and resentment among all the key players--social, economic, and political entities--is bound to ultimately cause far more harm than good. We should not be afraid of change, and we need to continue to make improvements, but perhaps we should try to narrow down key issues and focus on those specifics, rather than advocating throwing out the baby with the bathwater. There are lots of good people, hard-working, caring, and dedicated, whose intentions and voices are being drowned out by a focus on the flaws in the system being turned into personal affronts and generalizations about the perceived lost generation floundering in our schools. Many of our best are being driven away from the profession, 'encouraged' to take a money-saving early retirement, or simply losing hope in the idea of being able to make a difference to kids in a system moving toward a scripted, forced, and rote curriculum 'inspired' by teaching to the test which will 'prove' how smart the kids are. Creative, innovative thinking? Yeah, there's no place to bubble that on a scantron. Nix that. Empathy, caring, responsibility, citizenship? We don't have time for those things either--they're not on the test. Is that the kind of education we really want?

At this point, the argument usually devolves into a republican versus democrat versus independent versus everyone else. A liberal versus conservative argument. A class issue. A gender issue. An us-against-them, no matter who us is, no matter who them is. Here's the big revelation, though--no one group caused this problem, and no one group is going to be the savior riding in on the white horse. All of that is just posturing, designed far more with political gain in mind than actual, true reform which will enable us to reach as many kids as possible in the most meaningful way. These are all of our kids, and this problem belongs to all of us.

I am happy to have my job; I am blessed to be able to teach kids every day. But I anticipate a hard, uphill battle over the next few years as the economy tries to recover and education attempts to continue doing more with less while under public scrutiny as a scapegoat for all that is wrong with the country. Here's to hoping most of us, the teachers and the kids, manage to come out the other side relatively unscathed. I'm not sure it's a realistic hope, but I am, as I have said, an optimist.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

April 26, 2010

We had a disagreement last night at our house. It's the rare instance when Doug and I don't fall on the same side of the fence on a political issue, but it happens. (What the issue was I won't go into here, since I'm not trying to start a political debate about it right now.) The important thing about it was that although we both feel very strongly about why we believe what we believe, we both recognize the validity of the opposing point of view and respect its merits. We can both agree to respectfully disagree, without resorting to name-calling and judgments about the intelligence level of someone whose viewpoint differs from our own. Wouldn't it be nice if the politicians and activists and pundits of the world could do the same? How much could be done if those in power spent more time hearing the other side than they do disparaging the character or intelligence of people who feel passionately about the causes they champion?

A Conscious Choice

April 2, 2010

Inspired by Miss Natalie....

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Each person who enters our lives, whether it be for a season or a lifetime, touches us in a unique way that imprints itself and changes part of who we are. These evolutions of self, these iterations of our beings, are all real, genuine facets of the person we are now and the one we will become.

I don't regret a single soul who has come into my life, even the ones who caused me pain, or the ones I have caused pain. Those people, those experiences, have made me who I am. By the same token, I won't ever say that I am completely fulfilled or fully realized, because that negates the potential for all the people I've yet to encounter who will, in ways large and small, touch my world and open my eyes to new facets of myself as I continue to grow in this life.

People in this world will hurt you, sometimes inadvertently, sometimes with purpose. Jump in with both feet anyway. Live fully, grow from what you've experienced. Look for the best in people, even when they don't see it in themselves. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Be nicer to people than they deserve. Be nicer to yourself than you sometimes deserve. Because ultimately, we're all just stumbling along, doing our best to survive the war. Sometimes we forget how we impact our fellow-travelers on the path. We don't know each others' stories even when we think we do; we can only ever know our own stories fully. So how to proceed? How to move forward rather than get mired in hurt? Acknowledge the strength gained and lessons learned, and chose not to carry the rest with you. It is, after all, a conscious choice--your choice. At the end of the road you'll find your load is light, and your heart full.

Somebody's Daughter, Somebody's Sister

November 16, 2009

A couple of weeks ago, Richmond, California made headlines. After a high school dance, a 15-year old girl walked out of the homecoming celebration and into a nightmare that will follow her for all her days.

She left alone, presumably to call her dad to pick her up. Before she made that call however, she met up with a friend of hers who invited her to join his group of buddies, who were drinking in a notoriously dangerous area adjacent to the school. She agreed, and within a very short span of time, consumed enough alcohol to render her nearly unconscious. Should she have declined to join the young men? Probably. Should she have exercised restraint in the consumption of alcohol? Most certainly. Regardless, however, nothing that she did or didn't do made her deserve what happened to her next.

One of the boys suggested they have sex, and she declined. When he came at her, according to witnesses, she kicked him. That was enough to send the alcohol-fueled pack into a rage. They attacked her, held her down, and began a vicious assault. "Rape in concert" is what they call it in legal terms. Gang rape is the more commonly known term. Horrifying as that is, even more abhorrent was that it lasted more than two hours, while a group of kids gathered around to watch, laughing and attempting to take video on their cell phones. For TWO HOURS. Meanwhile, not one person attempted to intervene or call the police. No one did anything to stop it, despite the fact that there were six to ten perpetrators, and up to twenty spectators. In the midst of her attackers, surrounded by 'innocent' bystanders, this young girl was absolutely and utterly alone. And that, my friends, compounds this tragedy exponentially. What does it say about our social mentality that we can so distance ourselves from what is happening right before our eyes? How is it possible to divorce ourselves from such gross inhumanity at our feet?

One of the young men who was arrested and later released for lack of evidence claims that though he was there, he was not one of the violent attackers--he was merely an observer. When asked why he did not call the police, he cites fear of retaliation as the deterrent. I suppose I could understand that. The neighborhood where this took place is known for gangs and crime. Who knows how many concealed weapons might have been at the scene? These are just kids, after all, so is it realistic to expect these high school students to throw themselves into a potentially fatal situation to save one who is in danger? Not everyone is destined to be a hero.

No, I don't expect everyone to be a hero. But to stand silent (or not so silent--there was apparently much cheering and encouraging going on) for the duration without being moved to action--any action--is beyond comprehension. Why couldn't someone have stepped away and made the call, even anonymously? At what point in time does that silence become tacit agreement? Had the victim been one year younger, all of the bystanders could be held legally responsible. It's illegal to watch a crime committed against a fourteen year old without attempting to stop it or report it, but if the victim is fifteen there is no legal responsibility. Who draws that line? I know the rationale behind the law, but ultimately, I'm not nearly as interested in the legality of the situation as I am the morality of allowing another human being to suffer that kind of degradation.

There are those who would argue that it's easy to say what you think you might do when confronted with that kind of situation, heaven forbid. What one should do, in theory, can often go out the window in the heat of the moment. Who are we to judge those people? How can we possibly know what was going through their heads? Still I maintain that a frozen moment of 'deer in the headlights' inaction is miles away from taking pictures on a cell phone camera for two hours. Those young men, including the one who says he does not regret making the call that could have stopped the brutal attack, are in part responsible for the assault. There is a moral culpability for those who became audience to that horrific spectacle. They are responsible for the dehumanization of someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's best friend. And knowing that it wasn't their own daughter, their own sister, their own best friend, does not excuse them from the responsibility of action--any action--that might have spared her the nightmare that will surely be her companion for the rest of her life.

To read the story, click on the link below.
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/east_bay&id=7111732&rss=rss-kgo-article-7111732

Til Death

October 28, 2009

A headline caught my eye yesterday that stopped me in my tracks. According to my morning newscast, there is a Californian who is pushing to get a measure on the 2010 ballot that would ban divorce. Mind you, I am not a big fan of divorce; I don't know anyone who is. However, I do know that there are circumstances under which divorce is warranted--necessary, even. I was appalled that there was a proposal on the table to take away this option.

Naturally, I did a little research. It bothers me tremendously when people catch a sound byte or a snippet of information and run wild with assumptions. So I checked it out. I did a little reading, including perusing interviews and this man's own website, and it's pretty clear that this satirist, John Marcotte, is poking fun at the recent battle ground that was (and is) Proposition 8, the recent bid to overturn the legality of gay marriage. According to him, he feels that Prop 8 didn't go far enough in 'protecting marriage,' so the logical step is to take it one step further and 'rescue marriage' by banning divorce altogether. The t-shirt promoting his cause has a picture of a wedded couple, bound by chains. The t-shirt's caption reads, "You said, 'Til Death Do Us Part.' You're not dead yet."

Okay, I get the joke. It's funny, really. Funny, that is, unless people miss the satire and begin to take him seriously. Believe me, there is that danger. I mean, the news reported it as a serious effort to get backing for his cause. There is, in fact, an actual proposal to get it on the ballot. And I can see people, steadfast in their earnest belief that marriage is a sacred, unbreakable bond, flocking toward the cause, some in all sincerity, some in smug superiority of their own successful marriages.

I don't take marriage lightly. I, too, believe that it is a sacred bond. I know very few people who take that step thinking of that marriage as a temporary state. No one goes into a marriage planning for its eventual demise. And yet, circumstances sometimes change lives so dramatically that a divorce is ultimately a legal way to pronounce what has, in fact, already occurred--that two people have gone down such different paths away from each other that it is impossible (or at the very least, not desirable) to find a common path once again. Then there are other circumstances, even more dramatic and potentially harmful which sometimes lead to divorce, and rightfully so--physical or emotional abuse, alcohol and drug addiction, habitual deceit, or abandonment.

Marcotte has done his job. He's gotten his name out there, and careful readers will see his satirical viewpoint. However, in a society not known for its careful reading or attention to detail, I worry that he will indeed have started the ball rolling toward giving Californians the dubious distinction of not only being a state to ban marriage between two loving human beings, but to also to enforce a continued union of those who no longer wish to be joined.