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Things one should never outgrow:
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Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2022
Dance Dance
March 15, 2022
Tonight Kelly joined Mo and me for our dance classes, which made for much mirth and merriment. We aren't great dancers, but we do know how to laugh, so it all evens out! I am so thankful to have this group of friends that has been going strong for better than 20 years. I think we need to have another reunion of all of the Old School Girls this summer. There is never a dull moment when we all get together.
Saturday, January 29, 2022
A Little Respite
January 29, 2022
I went up into the foothills to spend some time with my good friends Brad and Jean. They live nestled in the rolling hills near Yosemite Lakes, about 45 minutes away from where I live. I just love the comfort and warmth of their hospitality, and the genuine love and friendship I have with these two. We had a lovely, leisurely dinner and talked for hours, well into the night. What a lovely respite from the hustle and bustle of every day life!
Friday, January 4, 2019
Just Like Yesterday
January 4, 2019
Sometimes months will pass between the times some of us see each other. For some of us, there have been years that stretched between our gatherings. But each and every time I see any of these women--those of us who started out teaching together years and years ago, when we were baby-faced novice teachers--we reconnect like we saw each other only yesterday. Time only brings us closer together, and that is truly a measure of a beautiful friendship.
Sometimes months will pass between the times some of us see each other. For some of us, there have been years that stretched between our gatherings. But each and every time I see any of these women--those of us who started out teaching together years and years ago, when we were baby-faced novice teachers--we reconnect like we saw each other only yesterday. Time only brings us closer together, and that is truly a measure of a beautiful friendship.
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Lean On Me
January 3, 2019
When we were young, we looked to the adults around us and on the whole, we probably thought they mostly had things figured out. There was business to handle, and handle it they did. There might have been notable exceptions to the adults we thought had it all figured out--the weird uncle or the slightly crazy second cousin, or even the disheveled and perpetually confused looking high school teacher--but on the whole, we believed the adults knew what was going on and how to approach any circumstance in life.
Fast forward to now. I am--we are--the adults. And my goodness, we do NOT have it all figured out. We constantly question each decision we make, each action we taking moving forward. What if it's the wrong thing to do? What if my decision leads to consequences I didn't foresee? The reality is, we simply do not know. The secret of life? We're all out here doing the best we can, making our best guess as to how it's all going to turn out. The secret of life is that no one really knows the secret of life.
So what do we do? If we're lucky, as I have been, we cultivate good, solid friendships. We seek counsel and solace from those friends; we seek commiseration and celebration with souls who wish the best for us and, like us, are making their best guesses about how to proceed from day to day, and year to year. When you cultivate friends like that, you can roll around ideas, test out theories, offer suggestions, learn from one another's experiences, knowing that no two experiences are alike, but might have common ground. You offer to one another a shoulder to cry on, a fresh perspective, a belly laugh when levity is warranted or needed, a boost of confidence, or a gentle kick in the rear when one is stuck in static mode. We offer an ear; we offer community.
I've got a few circles of friends, and within those circles, we have collectively faced many challenges and joys over the years: marriages, children, diseases and catastrophic illnesses, accidents, births, deaths, new careers or loss of careers, infidelity, new homes, divorces, bankruptcy, mental health issues, and addiction, just to name a few. And as fate would have it, we often take turns with our burdens, so that some of us are strong when others need buoyed. Sometimes I am able to help carry someone else's burden, and sometimes it is I who needs a hand. But the hands are always there--hands to hold, to reach out for a hug, and to gently touch to help us remember that though none of us has it all figured out, we aren't all on our own making guesses in the dark. We don't have it all figured out--no one does--but we aren't alone, and sometimes, that makes all the difference.
When we were young, we looked to the adults around us and on the whole, we probably thought they mostly had things figured out. There was business to handle, and handle it they did. There might have been notable exceptions to the adults we thought had it all figured out--the weird uncle or the slightly crazy second cousin, or even the disheveled and perpetually confused looking high school teacher--but on the whole, we believed the adults knew what was going on and how to approach any circumstance in life.
Fast forward to now. I am--we are--the adults. And my goodness, we do NOT have it all figured out. We constantly question each decision we make, each action we taking moving forward. What if it's the wrong thing to do? What if my decision leads to consequences I didn't foresee? The reality is, we simply do not know. The secret of life? We're all out here doing the best we can, making our best guess as to how it's all going to turn out. The secret of life is that no one really knows the secret of life.
So what do we do? If we're lucky, as I have been, we cultivate good, solid friendships. We seek counsel and solace from those friends; we seek commiseration and celebration with souls who wish the best for us and, like us, are making their best guesses about how to proceed from day to day, and year to year. When you cultivate friends like that, you can roll around ideas, test out theories, offer suggestions, learn from one another's experiences, knowing that no two experiences are alike, but might have common ground. You offer to one another a shoulder to cry on, a fresh perspective, a belly laugh when levity is warranted or needed, a boost of confidence, or a gentle kick in the rear when one is stuck in static mode. We offer an ear; we offer community.
I've got a few circles of friends, and within those circles, we have collectively faced many challenges and joys over the years: marriages, children, diseases and catastrophic illnesses, accidents, births, deaths, new careers or loss of careers, infidelity, new homes, divorces, bankruptcy, mental health issues, and addiction, just to name a few. And as fate would have it, we often take turns with our burdens, so that some of us are strong when others need buoyed. Sometimes I am able to help carry someone else's burden, and sometimes it is I who needs a hand. But the hands are always there--hands to hold, to reach out for a hug, and to gently touch to help us remember that though none of us has it all figured out, we aren't all on our own making guesses in the dark. We don't have it all figured out--no one does--but we aren't alone, and sometimes, that makes all the difference.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Jesse's Girl
June 28, 2012
My friend Francine and I bonded early on in our friendship over our guilty-pleasure love of 80s, and more specifically, Rick Springfield. Last year we took a road trip to the state fair to see him in concert, so when we found out he was going to be playing in Sacramento this summer, we knew another girls' night out was in the cards. We got there early enough to get great seats, and of course we had our roses to give him (a signature part of his show--'playing' his guitar with the bouquets, showering the stage with the petals). The picture below is him actually using the bouquet I handed him! As always, he put on a fantastic show, and I just love that Francine is such a fearless super-fan that she makes sure she gets recognized in the audience at each of his concerts she goes to. This was only the second one I've gone to with her (she's been to several), but I'm pretty sure there will be more in our future.
My friend Francine and I bonded early on in our friendship over our guilty-pleasure love of 80s, and more specifically, Rick Springfield. Last year we took a road trip to the state fair to see him in concert, so when we found out he was going to be playing in Sacramento this summer, we knew another girls' night out was in the cards. We got there early enough to get great seats, and of course we had our roses to give him (a signature part of his show--'playing' his guitar with the bouquets, showering the stage with the petals). The picture below is him actually using the bouquet I handed him! As always, he put on a fantastic show, and I just love that Francine is such a fearless super-fan that she makes sure she gets recognized in the audience at each of his concerts she goes to. This was only the second one I've gone to with her (she's been to several), but I'm pretty sure there will be more in our future.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Reunion Time!
June 2, 2012
Many years ago--was it fifteen or so?--there was a wonderful sense of closeness and friendship in the English department at work. We were all young--for many of the girls it was pre-marriage and pre-babies. We even had a standing Thursday night 'date night' where we'd take turns hosting Friends nights, when Friends was the biggest thing on television. I adored all of these women and admired them greatly. Then, as tends to happen, life happened, and people moved on. They moved to different jobs and in and out of marriages, and through joy and unspeakable loss. We all did. And yet, even though we didn't always see each other often, there was always a connection.
So what was it that got the ball rolling and made it THIS year that we all finally decided it was high time for a reunion? I have no idea. But as soon as it came up, we all immediately thought, "Of COURSE we need a reunion!" Why on earth haven't we done this before now?"
As soon as everyone got to Mo's house (our lovely planner and host), it was just like old times. We've all kept in contact in varying degrees over the years, but even for those who hadn't spoken in several years, it was as if no time had passed. We spent hours catching up on the past and sharing great memories. I seriously love these girls, and I can't wait to get together again soon--we won't let time get away from us again.
Me, Francine, Kelly Andie, and Mo
Alexa, Mo, Me, Nancy, Kelly, Andie, Francine, and Shawnah
Andie and Janal
Kelly and Alexa
Andie and Me
Many years ago--was it fifteen or so?--there was a wonderful sense of closeness and friendship in the English department at work. We were all young--for many of the girls it was pre-marriage and pre-babies. We even had a standing Thursday night 'date night' where we'd take turns hosting Friends nights, when Friends was the biggest thing on television. I adored all of these women and admired them greatly. Then, as tends to happen, life happened, and people moved on. They moved to different jobs and in and out of marriages, and through joy and unspeakable loss. We all did. And yet, even though we didn't always see each other often, there was always a connection.
So what was it that got the ball rolling and made it THIS year that we all finally decided it was high time for a reunion? I have no idea. But as soon as it came up, we all immediately thought, "Of COURSE we need a reunion!" Why on earth haven't we done this before now?"
As soon as everyone got to Mo's house (our lovely planner and host), it was just like old times. We've all kept in contact in varying degrees over the years, but even for those who hadn't spoken in several years, it was as if no time had passed. We spent hours catching up on the past and sharing great memories. I seriously love these girls, and I can't wait to get together again soon--we won't let time get away from us again.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Bridesmaids Movie Night
March 25, 2012
My girlfriend Julieann is a pretty amazing person. Just one of the amazing things about her is that she lets me hang out with her. Another amazing thing? She has a knack for throwing a party. She's all about theme (that may be the English teacher in her). This week we had a Girlfriends' Movie Night, which as far as I'm concerned, she's famous for. If it were me, I'd invite a few friends over, pop in the dvd, and maybe halfway through remember that a good hostess might offer her guests something to drink--which I would have forgotten to purchase ahead of time. Not Julieann, though. She puts time and effort and forethought into her shindigs.
Our movie of choice for this week was Bridesmaids. (If you haven't seen it, you really should. Granted, it's a little low-brow in some spots--it's been called the females' answer to The Hangover--but if that sort of thing doesn't turn you away from movies, you'll probably really love the movie. It's pretty hilarious.) Anyway, Julieann asked us to bring old bridesmaids dresses to show off when we arrived, which I dutifully did. She served food fondue-style, with a chocolate fountain as the centerpiece, which if you've seen the movie, you'll recognize is a nod to the bridal shower scene. She had also created a game where we had to match movie quotes (about friendship/relationships/weddings) to the movies from which they came. Trying to guess if the quote came from Beaches or Say Anything or Finding Nemo or Casablanca, etc., proved more challenging than I would have expected--and I'm a big movie fan! I did not, of course win, because I never win those things. Besides, I didn't have google by my side helping me out, either, not that I'm saying anyone else did. Or didn't.
Unfortunately, we experienced some real technical glitches in the program, but that didn't stop us from having a great time, talking, laughing, singing, and dancing while we took turns trying to make the computer and the t.v. and the projector and the speakers all talk to each other. Turns out, after much wrangling and cajoling inanimate electronic objects, they didn't really want to learn how to speak to each other. We gave up trying to watch in the front room and just all piled into Julieann's bedroom, where the t.v. was smaller, but it actually played the dvd. Small compromise! We didn't care; it was just like one big adult girl slumber party, complete with talking and giggling and eating. Girls need this. We crave this. We are moms and wives and girlfriends and such, and we love those roles, but we have to be able to cultivate and cherish our sisters--sisters by blood or by choice. We GET each other. We KNOW each other. We are better moms and wives and girlfriends when we get the chance to celebrate with our sisters now and then. Celebrate the big things, like weddings, and celebrate the small things, like Movie Night. If you're looking for a big, theme-y message in Bridesmaids, that's what it is, in case you were wondering.
Also, in true Julieann form, she gave us all a parting gift at the end of the evening. For those of you who have seen the movie, you'll also recognize this little homage to bridal shower scene in the movie: we each got to take home a little stuffed puppy. (I took two, in my own little homage.) But, honestly, we got to take home something so much better--the reminder that we all need to get together much more frequently. These times are good for the soul.
Jamie, Julieann, Me, and Heather
All the girls
Miss Julieann
My girlfriend Julieann is a pretty amazing person. Just one of the amazing things about her is that she lets me hang out with her. Another amazing thing? She has a knack for throwing a party. She's all about theme (that may be the English teacher in her). This week we had a Girlfriends' Movie Night, which as far as I'm concerned, she's famous for. If it were me, I'd invite a few friends over, pop in the dvd, and maybe halfway through remember that a good hostess might offer her guests something to drink--which I would have forgotten to purchase ahead of time. Not Julieann, though. She puts time and effort and forethought into her shindigs.
Our movie of choice for this week was Bridesmaids. (If you haven't seen it, you really should. Granted, it's a little low-brow in some spots--it's been called the females' answer to The Hangover--but if that sort of thing doesn't turn you away from movies, you'll probably really love the movie. It's pretty hilarious.) Anyway, Julieann asked us to bring old bridesmaids dresses to show off when we arrived, which I dutifully did. She served food fondue-style, with a chocolate fountain as the centerpiece, which if you've seen the movie, you'll recognize is a nod to the bridal shower scene. She had also created a game where we had to match movie quotes (about friendship/relationships/weddings) to the movies from which they came. Trying to guess if the quote came from Beaches or Say Anything or Finding Nemo or Casablanca, etc., proved more challenging than I would have expected--and I'm a big movie fan! I did not, of course win, because I never win those things. Besides, I didn't have google by my side helping me out, either, not that I'm saying anyone else did. Or didn't.
Unfortunately, we experienced some real technical glitches in the program, but that didn't stop us from having a great time, talking, laughing, singing, and dancing while we took turns trying to make the computer and the t.v. and the projector and the speakers all talk to each other. Turns out, after much wrangling and cajoling inanimate electronic objects, they didn't really want to learn how to speak to each other. We gave up trying to watch in the front room and just all piled into Julieann's bedroom, where the t.v. was smaller, but it actually played the dvd. Small compromise! We didn't care; it was just like one big adult girl slumber party, complete with talking and giggling and eating. Girls need this. We crave this. We are moms and wives and girlfriends and such, and we love those roles, but we have to be able to cultivate and cherish our sisters--sisters by blood or by choice. We GET each other. We KNOW each other. We are better moms and wives and girlfriends when we get the chance to celebrate with our sisters now and then. Celebrate the big things, like weddings, and celebrate the small things, like Movie Night. If you're looking for a big, theme-y message in Bridesmaids, that's what it is, in case you were wondering.
Also, in true Julieann form, she gave us all a parting gift at the end of the evening. For those of you who have seen the movie, you'll also recognize this little homage to bridal shower scene in the movie: we each got to take home a little stuffed puppy. (I took two, in my own little homage.) But, honestly, we got to take home something so much better--the reminder that we all need to get together much more frequently. These times are good for the soul.
Jamie, Julieann, Me, and Heather
All the girls
Miss Julieann
Home Again, and All is Good
March 25, 2012
Much as I love the kids Bree hangs out with at college, I adore the ones from home. And home is where she is--right now. My baby girl is home from college for spring break, and I'm loving it. I also love that she was able to get together with her 'brother' Austin. It does my heart good to see them back together again, close as ever despite the miles and time. That's true friendship!
My goofy darlings!
Much as I love the kids Bree hangs out with at college, I adore the ones from home. And home is where she is--right now. My baby girl is home from college for spring break, and I'm loving it. I also love that she was able to get together with her 'brother' Austin. It does my heart good to see them back together again, close as ever despite the miles and time. That's true friendship!
My goofy darlings!
Look at These Smiling Faces
March 25, 2012
These are some of the wonderful people Bree surrounds herself with down in San Diego. I really love that she has found such kindred spirits there who make her happy and comfortable and silly. She has such a beautiful knack for drawing positive people to her--probably because she's such a positive kid herself!
Aaron
Addie
Anna
These are some of the wonderful people Bree surrounds herself with down in San Diego. I really love that she has found such kindred spirits there who make her happy and comfortable and silly. She has such a beautiful knack for drawing positive people to her--probably because she's such a positive kid herself!
Aaron
Addie
Anna
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Ugly Christmas Sweater Party
December 11, 2011
Our good friends Jennifer and Rick hosted an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year. There was quite the collection of contenders, but Kris took the prize with this 'extra frosty' sweater, complete with strategically placed protruding carrots. It's definitely an eye-catching look!
Rock Band concert in the living room.
Doug's sweater was actually a sweatshirt made by Brianna for her 1st grade winter program. It's an adorable sweatshirt, and she looked darling in it when she wore it, but on Doug--a grown man--it becomes an acceptable entry into the Ugly Sweater contest. (No offense intended, Bree and Mrs. Olivas!)
Lianne and Jennifer. Jennifer is a wonderful hostess, and all the food she made for the party was fantastic.
The girls--Rosa, me, Jennifer, and Lianne
Our good friends Jennifer and Rick hosted an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year. There was quite the collection of contenders, but Kris took the prize with this 'extra frosty' sweater, complete with strategically placed protruding carrots. It's definitely an eye-catching look!
Rock Band concert in the living room.
Doug's sweater was actually a sweatshirt made by Brianna for her 1st grade winter program. It's an adorable sweatshirt, and she looked darling in it when she wore it, but on Doug--a grown man--it becomes an acceptable entry into the Ugly Sweater contest. (No offense intended, Bree and Mrs. Olivas!)
Lianne and Jennifer. Jennifer is a wonderful hostess, and all the food she made for the party was fantastic.
The girls--Rosa, me, Jennifer, and Lianne
Monday, November 14, 2011
Steve Hall
November 14, 2011 
When we went down to Southern California for Laura and Sean's engagement party, Doug found an opportunity to reconnect with someone he had been very close with several years ago when he was living down in San Diego. Doug had very recently come across Steve Hall on Facebook, and they had corresponded a bit. They were co-workers for about a year, and roomates as well, but had lost touch. With the advent of Facebook, they went in search of each other now and again, but sifting through all the Doug Smiths and Steve Halls out there on the internet is a bit of a daunting task. (Look them up if you don't believe me--a lot of folks seem to think Doug and Steve are great names for the offspring of the likes of the Mr. and Mrs. Smiths and Mr. and Mrs. Halls out in the world.) Eventually, though, their Facebook profiles crossed. It was only a matter of time.
As luck would have it, Steve is currently living not far from where we were going to be that weekend, and as a matter of fact had business to attend to in Santa Monica, which is where the engagement party was being held. Since I knew I had to drive the college kids back down to San Diego on Sunday, Doug had an afternoon to himself. He called Steve and arranged to meet up at a poolroom in Santa Monica. It was actually an ideal way to meet after so many years, since Doug cites Steve as one of his main influences in becoming the real pool player he is today. When they knew each other down in San Diego, they spent a lot of time at pool rooms, and Steve was a good player--better than Doug was, by Doug's own admission. Though they shared good times, good conversation, and easy rapport, their pool games always had the same outcome back in those days--Doug did a lot of racking the balls back then. Probably an association of those good times--combined with a somewhat competitive nature--spurred Doug on to pursue the game of pool and to develop the impressive and considerable skill he developed over time.
In meeting up again, both Doug and Steve found themselves falling right back into the comfortable conversation of good friends--you know the ones you can go for months or even years without speaking to, and yet it feels like just yesterday? They reminisced about old times and old stories, and caught up on where their life's paths had taken them. They made future plans to get together with the wives and kids. They ate, too, and of course there was pool--pretty good pool, as a matter of fact, even though Doug hasn't played much in the past couple of months. Good is good, you know? There's a sense memory there that doesn't really go away, once you get to a certain level. Kind of like the sense memory of a good friend from years past--time passes, but that connection is never really gone.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Girls' Night, And Then Everyone Night--Best of Both Worlds
November 7, 2011
Saturday night was Girls' Night Out, which we all need to treat ourselves to now and again. Julieann and Heather and I decided to take in the 2011 version of Footloose and grab some dinner and good old fashioned girly talk. (Footloose, by the way, was fun--not the travesty it could have been. I mean, seriously, did they really need to remake the classic Kevin Bacon flick? No, but the update is worth checking out. The combination of modern backdrop and 80's nostalgic throwback--mostly in the form of reminiscent music--definitely still speaks to the 40-something set who grew up with Kevin Bacon.)
After the movie, we stopped in Elephant Bar for a quick bite to eat. It had been far too long since I had been able to do a little catching up with these fabulous women, so we spent a lot of time reconnecting. Oh man, I love these girls! We really need to make it a priority to keep up with each other better than we have. Celebrating love and support and friendship--oh, that's so important, and it always makes us realize how much we love to spend time together. It's far too easy to let that get put on the back burner when there are houses to clean and taxis to run and essays to grade and all the rest of the obligations that eat up our time.
Some of our other friends were meeting up for a birthday party across town at Habano's, so that was our next destination. Jamie (a girl who looks uncannily like my sister Laura to me) met up with us. (Julieann, Heather, and Jamie all worked together as English teachers; since Julieann was my student teacher before she worked at their school, they let me tag along with them.)
Finally, we wound up at my favorite Saturday night spot, Thai Fusion, for karaoke and dancing. Doug was there, and several of our friends who are regulars, just like Doug and me. We ended up with a party of about 20 or so, laughing, singing, dancing, and having a great time. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night!
Saturday night was Girls' Night Out, which we all need to treat ourselves to now and again. Julieann and Heather and I decided to take in the 2011 version of Footloose and grab some dinner and good old fashioned girly talk. (Footloose, by the way, was fun--not the travesty it could have been. I mean, seriously, did they really need to remake the classic Kevin Bacon flick? No, but the update is worth checking out. The combination of modern backdrop and 80's nostalgic throwback--mostly in the form of reminiscent music--definitely still speaks to the 40-something set who grew up with Kevin Bacon.)
After the movie, we stopped in Elephant Bar for a quick bite to eat. It had been far too long since I had been able to do a little catching up with these fabulous women, so we spent a lot of time reconnecting. Oh man, I love these girls! We really need to make it a priority to keep up with each other better than we have. Celebrating love and support and friendship--oh, that's so important, and it always makes us realize how much we love to spend time together. It's far too easy to let that get put on the back burner when there are houses to clean and taxis to run and essays to grade and all the rest of the obligations that eat up our time.
Some of our other friends were meeting up for a birthday party across town at Habano's, so that was our next destination. Jamie (a girl who looks uncannily like my sister Laura to me) met up with us. (Julieann, Heather, and Jamie all worked together as English teachers; since Julieann was my student teacher before she worked at their school, they let me tag along with them.)
Finally, we wound up at my favorite Saturday night spot, Thai Fusion, for karaoke and dancing. Doug was there, and several of our friends who are regulars, just like Doug and me. We ended up with a party of about 20 or so, laughing, singing, dancing, and having a great time. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Dinner With Old Friends
August 17, 2010
My husband always laughs at me for saying that I'm surprised when people from my past remember me. I just have always considered myself a bit of a shy, retiring type, especially in comparison to my very outgoing, gregarious sisters. I spent much of my younger days trying pretty hard to be the proverbial wall-flower, fairly successfully, blending in with the background. Small talk was always painfully difficult for me, and truth be told, still is, if you are not among the circle of people who know me best. For one who loves language and word-play and witticisms, there is always a bit of fear that I simply won't be able to keep up and that my contributions will be banal and mundane in light of the sparkling repartee around me.
So, honestly, I was a bit intimidated when recently a very old friend from high school came into town. He and his fiance were meeting up with some mutual friends for dinner, and invited me to join them. I don't think I'd seen Steve for over twenty years, but of course we had reconnected a bit through Facebook. Steve and Kim and Tim, the other couple who were joining us, were all in drama together with my sister for several years in high school, and since Lisa and I were so close in high school, many of her friends became my friends. Drama. Yes, with a flair for the dramatic, all of them. Engaging, enthusiastic, and animated story-tellers. And me. Not so dramatic--and lacking quite a bit of the shared history of the group. I wondered if I wouldn't be quite the fifth wheel--a silent and rather clunky one at that. So what did I do? I brought along a sixth wheel! It speaks well of my hubby that he was sport enough to go along and join me, since he is even less of a small-talker, and shares even less history with these friends.
As often is the case, though, I needn't have worried. Shared history or not, Kim, Tim, Steve, and Trish were delightful company, and we sat and shared stories and caught up with each other with ease. We traveled through high school and old friends and who-knows-where-she-ended-up and whatever-happened-to-him. We traveled through life's experiences and families and children and dogs. We meandered through careers and we wandered through beliefs. We traversed a lot of ground in that evening, casually, comfortably, just like the old friends that we are.
Ten years ago, I would have talked myself out of going, out of fear and self-consciousness, silly as that seems. The more I've pushed past that little voice and broken out of my shell in the past several years, the more I realize the kinds of things I used to miss out on, and the more I realize how satisfying it can be to choose to be visible.
My husband always laughs at me for saying that I'm surprised when people from my past remember me. I just have always considered myself a bit of a shy, retiring type, especially in comparison to my very outgoing, gregarious sisters. I spent much of my younger days trying pretty hard to be the proverbial wall-flower, fairly successfully, blending in with the background. Small talk was always painfully difficult for me, and truth be told, still is, if you are not among the circle of people who know me best. For one who loves language and word-play and witticisms, there is always a bit of fear that I simply won't be able to keep up and that my contributions will be banal and mundane in light of the sparkling repartee around me.
So, honestly, I was a bit intimidated when recently a very old friend from high school came into town. He and his fiance were meeting up with some mutual friends for dinner, and invited me to join them. I don't think I'd seen Steve for over twenty years, but of course we had reconnected a bit through Facebook. Steve and Kim and Tim, the other couple who were joining us, were all in drama together with my sister for several years in high school, and since Lisa and I were so close in high school, many of her friends became my friends. Drama. Yes, with a flair for the dramatic, all of them. Engaging, enthusiastic, and animated story-tellers. And me. Not so dramatic--and lacking quite a bit of the shared history of the group. I wondered if I wouldn't be quite the fifth wheel--a silent and rather clunky one at that. So what did I do? I brought along a sixth wheel! It speaks well of my hubby that he was sport enough to go along and join me, since he is even less of a small-talker, and shares even less history with these friends.
As often is the case, though, I needn't have worried. Shared history or not, Kim, Tim, Steve, and Trish were delightful company, and we sat and shared stories and caught up with each other with ease. We traveled through high school and old friends and who-knows-where-she-ended-up and whatever-happened-to-him. We traveled through life's experiences and families and children and dogs. We meandered through careers and we wandered through beliefs. We traversed a lot of ground in that evening, casually, comfortably, just like the old friends that we are.
Ten years ago, I would have talked myself out of going, out of fear and self-consciousness, silly as that seems. The more I've pushed past that little voice and broken out of my shell in the past several years, the more I realize the kinds of things I used to miss out on, and the more I realize how satisfying it can be to choose to be visible.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
What a Football Stadium Means To Me
June 26, 2010
For most people, a football stadium is all about the thrill of the game, practice brought to fruition through sweet victory, and rivals defeated through dedication and teamwork. Well, it's that for me, too, but it has nothing to do with football. For me (and a lot of other people I know) it's all about the half-time and the pageantry of marching band and drum corps.
The 1980s was the heyday of marching band in Clovis Unified, and Clovis High's Golden Cougar Marching Band was sitting on the top of the throne. We were powerful, formidable, and an awesome force to be reckoned with. And yet, we were kids--probably kids who didn't realize in the moment what a lasting effect our experiences would have on us, and how nearly tangible some of the memories we were building would become. These experiences and memories were dreamed and willed into being by our director, the incomparable Mel Stratton.
Mel touched many lives in his years at Clovis High, in ways he couldn't have known. Take, for example, the extraordinary numbers of his former students from those days who are now successful band directors in their own right. But he lived, both before and after those days, as a fixture in the Drum Corps world as well. As a matter of fact, several of us from Clovis High and many surrounding schools had the privilege of marching under his direction in the corps he and his wife Patty founded, The California Dons. The Dons were a short-lived corps with the fire and fight of the underdog, and it played the part of the training ground to send many young musicians and guard members off to prestigious corps like The Blue Devils and Santa Clara Vanguard, among others, when the Dons closed their doors.
Last night our city hosted a drum corps show, and Mel and Patty opened their homes up for a pre-show open house for his marching band and corps alumni. We watched old video footage and looked at pictures, many of which most of us had never seen. Mostly, though, we reminisced. There was a lot of, "Remember when we the bus broke down and we had to get out and push?" "Remember the show when we arrived so late that we had to jump right off the buses and onto the field?" "Remember the feeling when we walked off the field at Nationals?" "Remember...." And yes, we did. We all remembered. There was so much to remember, and so many people to remember. We made some amazing friends in those organizations. (Being in such close quarters for so many weeks or months or years will do that.) We also got to travel and see things most of us, myself included, would never have had the opportunity to see or do at that age without being involved in those organizations. And most of us got to experience for the first time a real sense of family and community outside the families we were born into. Sure, there were squabbles every now and again, and there was a lot of hard work, but the family came first, and we were all working toward a common goal--one that we were successful at reaching, much more often than not.
At the Drum Corps show, after having spent the afternoon reliving fond memories, I was instantly transported back to the days that made my high school experience such formative time in my life. It's amazing how seeing those shows can bring you back to the exhilaration of performing and the euphoria of hearing the hard-earned cheers from the crowds. You remember, but with fondness, the sweat, frustration, exhaustion, and yes, even tears that go into building those shows. You also think, "Yeah, but it was all worth it." We were learning so much that wasn't just about music or dance or flags or even marching. We were learning that if the goal is worth reaching, it's worth working hard for. We were learning discipline, including self-discipline, and responsibility. There is no faking it if two hundred other people are depending on you to be in your spot and know your job. We were learning respect, not only for those in charge, but even more importantly, for ourselves. And most important of all, we were learning that we were capable of so much more than we thought we were capable of before we began. We were learning to believe in ourselves. We were becoming young men and women; we were growing up.
Thank you again, Mel and Patty, for all that you did for me, and for all that you did for all of us.
Mel and Patty and Me
Jeanne Butler, Danny Pena, and Jennifer Cole Hernandez
Danny and Me
Shawn, Judy, and Marty
Tony Bernal and Me
Brad Riley with the Dons uniform (not quite his size)
Jennifer Cole Hernandez, Steve Sprague, Jeanne Butler
Mel and Danny
Michele Falk and Pat Murray
Stacey Reece King, Kelley Young, Jenny Howell Eastman
Mel and Randy Guill
Santa Clara Vanguard
Blue Devils
For most people, a football stadium is all about the thrill of the game, practice brought to fruition through sweet victory, and rivals defeated through dedication and teamwork. Well, it's that for me, too, but it has nothing to do with football. For me (and a lot of other people I know) it's all about the half-time and the pageantry of marching band and drum corps.
The 1980s was the heyday of marching band in Clovis Unified, and Clovis High's Golden Cougar Marching Band was sitting on the top of the throne. We were powerful, formidable, and an awesome force to be reckoned with. And yet, we were kids--probably kids who didn't realize in the moment what a lasting effect our experiences would have on us, and how nearly tangible some of the memories we were building would become. These experiences and memories were dreamed and willed into being by our director, the incomparable Mel Stratton.
Mel touched many lives in his years at Clovis High, in ways he couldn't have known. Take, for example, the extraordinary numbers of his former students from those days who are now successful band directors in their own right. But he lived, both before and after those days, as a fixture in the Drum Corps world as well. As a matter of fact, several of us from Clovis High and many surrounding schools had the privilege of marching under his direction in the corps he and his wife Patty founded, The California Dons. The Dons were a short-lived corps with the fire and fight of the underdog, and it played the part of the training ground to send many young musicians and guard members off to prestigious corps like The Blue Devils and Santa Clara Vanguard, among others, when the Dons closed their doors.
Last night our city hosted a drum corps show, and Mel and Patty opened their homes up for a pre-show open house for his marching band and corps alumni. We watched old video footage and looked at pictures, many of which most of us had never seen. Mostly, though, we reminisced. There was a lot of, "Remember when we the bus broke down and we had to get out and push?" "Remember the show when we arrived so late that we had to jump right off the buses and onto the field?" "Remember the feeling when we walked off the field at Nationals?" "Remember...." And yes, we did. We all remembered. There was so much to remember, and so many people to remember. We made some amazing friends in those organizations. (Being in such close quarters for so many weeks or months or years will do that.) We also got to travel and see things most of us, myself included, would never have had the opportunity to see or do at that age without being involved in those organizations. And most of us got to experience for the first time a real sense of family and community outside the families we were born into. Sure, there were squabbles every now and again, and there was a lot of hard work, but the family came first, and we were all working toward a common goal--one that we were successful at reaching, much more often than not.
At the Drum Corps show, after having spent the afternoon reliving fond memories, I was instantly transported back to the days that made my high school experience such formative time in my life. It's amazing how seeing those shows can bring you back to the exhilaration of performing and the euphoria of hearing the hard-earned cheers from the crowds. You remember, but with fondness, the sweat, frustration, exhaustion, and yes, even tears that go into building those shows. You also think, "Yeah, but it was all worth it." We were learning so much that wasn't just about music or dance or flags or even marching. We were learning that if the goal is worth reaching, it's worth working hard for. We were learning discipline, including self-discipline, and responsibility. There is no faking it if two hundred other people are depending on you to be in your spot and know your job. We were learning respect, not only for those in charge, but even more importantly, for ourselves. And most important of all, we were learning that we were capable of so much more than we thought we were capable of before we began. We were learning to believe in ourselves. We were becoming young men and women; we were growing up.
Thank you again, Mel and Patty, for all that you did for me, and for all that you did for all of us.
Mel and Patty and Me
Jeanne Butler, Danny Pena, and Jennifer Cole Hernandez
Danny and Me
Shawn, Judy, and Marty
Tony Bernal and Me
Brad Riley with the Dons uniform (not quite his size)
Jennifer Cole Hernandez, Steve Sprague, Jeanne Butler
Mel and Danny
Michele Falk and Pat Murray
Stacey Reece King, Kelley Young, Jenny Howell Eastman
Mel and Randy Guill
Santa Clara Vanguard
Blue Devils
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