Early Valentine's

February 4, 2026

Today my AVID students delivered early Valentine's appreciation notes. The ones I got told me my classroom made them feel comfortable, included, and cared for. What more could I ask for? It made my day!

Back to Physical Therapy--Finally!

January 10, 2025 After nearly a MONTH of waiting for paperwork to appropriately move from the physical therapist to the orthapedic surgeon to my insurance, I was FINALLY approved for the rest of my physical therapy! I went back today and started more strength training to stabilize my knee. Hopefully it won't be long now before I get to go back to my students!

Testing, testing...is this thing on??

February 17, 2024 My students had to transition this week to a new platform for submitting their work. They are dual enrollment students, so they had to interact with and submit an essay to the community college platform, instead of the usual Google Classroom platform. After my first few students came in and reported issues with logging in and 'finding' the right place to go, I decided I needed to devote class time to ensuring students could navigate the site. Mind you, we already did a trial run a couple of weeks ago and I made sure everyone could access Canvas. Nevertheless, students were struggling, so I scrapped part of my planned lesson and backtracked to offer support. In addition to devoting classtime, I also published a flier of Google Classroom with step-by-step instructions, and gave them reminders about how to navigate regular issues students were having. In class, I projected the flier and talked them through the steps. Still, I had students with issues. --Ms. L, it still won't let me login. It says I don't have permission. Me: Are you going to the webiste address on the flier, or another address? (She was not going to the website on the flier.) --Ms. L, it says it doesn't recognize my user name! But I'm using my I.D. number! Me: Which I.D. number? Remember that I said you needed to use your college I.D., not your high school one, since this is the college platform? (He was, in fact, using his high school I.D.) --Ms. L, when I log in, it takes me to a page that's not our class! Me: So, when I said when you log in it will ask you to update your communication preferences before you move on, this is that page. (It literally says, "Please update communication preferences before advancing to the next screen.") --Ms. L, I have to put in all that information?? It takes so much time! Me: It's verifying your name and email contact information. You can handle that. --Ms. L, now that I logged in nothing happens! Me: See the icon that says 'Canvas'? The one the flier tells you to click on? Click on it! (The icon wasn't even hiding from her; it was right out there in the open, just patiently waiting for her to click.) --Ms. L, can I just email you my essay instead? I tried to upload it, but it says it doesn't recongize the file. Me: I told you you can't share from your Google Drive, because this platform doesn't talk to Google Drive. Did you download the file as a doc or a docx so that you can upload it to the site? (No, he hadn't.) --Ms. L, I DID download it, but it says it won't accept it! Me: What kind of file? Is it a pdf? (Yes, it was.) Remember how I said NOT to download it as a pdf, because it would only accept doc or docx files? (She did remember. She just didn't think I meant it.) Most of the time, the intelligent, diligence, and knowledge of these kids is impressive. On a day like this, however, it's a little less so. This is not to say I don't have those days myself--we all do. But the collective troubleshooting ability was definitely not functioning at its highest level. My only saving grace is I am sure it saved me from about 90% of the panicked emails I would have gotten this weekend without taking that time in class.

Monday, Monday

March 7, 2022 Today was one of my long days, with meetings sandwiched between my day job and my night gig. Add to that before and after school duty (my very least favorite part of my job), and office hours at the end of the day, and my Monday is kind of a non-stop frenzy this week. Weirdly, though, I got to the end of my day still feeling wide awake, energetic, and in a great mood. I loved my interactions with the kids today even more than usual--I love when they make me laugh--and I feel like everything was just productive and positive today. What a happy way to begin the week!

Balance

February 10, 2022

After sitting through an evaluation meeting with both my Learning Director and my principal that was incredibly positive, I had a student tell me that some of the students in one of my classes didn't like my class because they thought I was 'controlling' (I was pretty astonished by that one, because I give a lot of choice in class) and gave busywork.  I am big on trying to explain and show why any given assignment is given--the purpose of things like outlines, or annotating what we read for study.  Still, there are kids who don't make the connection and just want us to 'let them read' or 'let them write' without what some of them consider 'fluff'.  Clearly I need to circle back and explain some of the benefits of why we do what we do, but also, sometimes I think that some of our students call 'busywork'  is merely 'work they don't want to do'.  Whenever you think you're doing a good job, someone will come along and make you question it.  Balance keeps us on our toes.

Everyone is Just Doing their Best

 February 9, 2022

In my night class tonight, one of my students approached my desk to speak with me before we got things started. She didn't even get two words out before her voice started breaking and tears sprung to her eyes.  She was embarrassed about being so vulnerable and emotional, and apologized several times.  She said she hadn't quite finished the homework because she had suddenly had to find another place to live, since she'd had a falling out in her current situation.  She had finally figured out a temporary solution, but the week's turmoil had taken precedence over her classwork for the week.  Poor kid! I tried to reassure her and let her know it was okay and that I would grant her an extension.  I also told her I was proud of her for speaking up and communicating her situation.  Housing instability is no joke, and interestingly, it's exactly what we are reading about in the memoir we just started.

There are people who might say that this student is taking advantage of my kind heart, or that she needs to learn to not let 'life' interfere with her work, which in this case is school.  I believe in learning time management, and adhering to deadlines, and adjusting to adversity.  But you know what?  If I was having a really rough time at home with something, if I came to my principal and told him, I would be given leniency and grace.  I think it's a myth that some people perpetuate that students all just need to deal with life and still maintain their school obligations.  The reality is that real life is messy, problematic, and filled with barriers to success.  And while we do need to figure out how to work within some of the things that make life hard, we also all know that sometimes giving a little leeway is all someone needs to restore their faith in their own ability to succeed.  I hope my student recognized that I recognized that it's okay to be vulnerable and to reach out--that one assignment or one rough week doesn't define you as a student or as a person.  

It Was a Good Day

February 1, 2022

I don't get nervous nearly as much as I used to when I get observed in my classroom, but of course I still like it to go well.  After my Learning Director finished observing my class this afternoon, she left me a little post-it note.  It definitely made my day!

I'm Back

 January 14, 2022

Due to the ever-evolving nature of Covid protocols at school, paired with this particularly contagious Omicron variant, I had a record number of students out last week, and then I was out this past week. Today I was finally able to return, and I got to see some students I haven't seen since before Winter Break.  As tired as I have been this year, and as frustrated as I have been with the constant shifts in--well, everything in our profession, there is nothing like the cheerful greetings of my students when I return from an absence, especially a prolonged one.  As I greeted my students in the hallway in front of my classroom door, welcoming them into the room, I heard so many of my kids turn to their friends and say, "Ms. Lutjens is back! Hey--she's here today!" before turning to me and saying, "Welcome back--we missed you!" Same, you guys.  Same. 

I Hope/I Fear

 January 5, 2022

Today in class we took time to connect and reset our focus for the year.  As part of our reconnecting, we make concrete goals for the semester, whether those be personal, physical, academic, spiritual, or relational.  I teach them some tools for making those goals attainable, and we talk about giving ourselves grace when we don't reach a goal.

In talking about giving ourselves grace, I also talk about turning that grace to others.  We do a little exercise in empathy and reminding ourselves that we are not alone in our stresses, and that everyone is walking around with a lot of stuff running around in our minds behind the scenes that we might not ever guess.  I ask them to anonymously complete two sentences:  I Hope.... and I Worry About/I Worry That..., and then I read them out loud.  Here are some of the things my kids wrote today:

I Hope...

I will choose the right college for me.

my grandmother will get better.

I make my parents proud.

my sister's business will be a success.

I find someone who loves me.

my anxiety won't stand in the way of me finding happiness.

I will stay in touch with my friends when we all move away to college.

I Worry...

that people don't really like me and they are just tolerating me.

that I will disappoint my parents.

that my grandmother won't make it to my graduation.

that Covid won't go away anytime soon.

that I will make the wrong career decision and will be unhappy in life.

that my father's choices around smoking and drinking will take him from us too soon.

that I won't find someone who loves me.

that the transition to college will be too hard for me.

that I won't be able to handle the financial burden of college.

These are just a handful of them, but many of them echoed similar sentiments.  I always have students write a reflection after they hear these, and nearly every student, every year, says they had no idea how many of their classmates were dealing with the same anxieties that they do.  It's comforting to recognize that they aren't alone.  It's comforting to remember that we are all human, and everyone has a lot going on behind the scenes that we may never have the privilege of knowing. We don't have to know exactly what a person's worries or fears are to extend grace and empathy; we just have to remember that those things are there, unspoken and unseen. If we operate as if everyone has those unseen struggles, we are able to much more easily give people the benefit of the doubt.  We are able to connect better as humans.   I think it is always a good thing to remind ourselves of this.

Considering the Social and Emotional Well-Being of all of Our Students

 April 23, 2021

The emotional impact of online learning has been a concern for a great many parents and educators in this past year.  As we have been in various forms of lockdown, including the closure of many school buildings for months on end, some of our students have sunk into depression, anxiety, and lack of motivation to sit in front of screens to complete their work in this most abnormal of situations.  These are very real concerns; some of our students have been hit incredibly hard by the uncertainty of the circumstances in which we find ourselves, and the loss of connections with friends who would typically have been lifelines during a regular crisis.  This, however, was no ordinary crisis. Our pandemic simultaneously created one of the biggest challenges in students' lives and cut off the social system of support by which navigating this crisis might have been made more manageable.  We all know that our friends and families help buoy us and bring joy and comfort when things are difficult--and yet students, like the rest of us--could only see their friends through the little screens on their phones, which is a poor substitute for a well-timed hug or just the joy of hanging out together, communing in band or choir or robotics or football or any number of other activities that join like-minded spirits.  There is no underestimating the impact of the social nature of school as a balance for the work at hand.  (In this regard, adults are not so different.  If we are truly fortunate, we have friends with whom we work who make our days brighter and well, more fun as we take on some of the more mundane and monotonous aspects of our jobs.)  To state the obvious, being with friends makes life better.

So it's no surprise that parents were loudly and angrily advocating for bringing their kids back on campus.  "Open up the schools! Our children are suffering!"  And they had a point.  Many children were suffering, and as parents we desperately want to help make things right for our babies.  In a world where Covid-19 was raging out of control, and businesses were being shut down, and normalcy was on hold, parents sought to move the needle on at least one thing that might make them feel like they had some control in a world where control was spiraling mostly out of reach--putting pressure on school boards to open up the school buildings and let the kids and the teachers back in.  As is often the case where people feel like there is a lack of control, there was often misplaced hostility and anger.  There were teachers who felt that with skyrocketing infection rates, we should not be so hasty to move back into the buildings.  Those teachers were met with accusations of laziness and apathy toward their beloved students.  Teachers didn't create the virus or the mandates that the school buildings shut down, and every teacher I know desperately wanted to see their kids.  However, many teachers didn't think they should have to assume the risk of coming down with the virus--or worse yet infecting their own children or parents--when our health officials were pleading with everyone to stay home to mitigate the spread.  Still, there were those who believed that it was our responsibility to take on that risk.  One parent at a local board meeting said, "I know teachers will get sick.  That's a risk I'm willing to take.  Open up the schools!"  He said he was willing to take the risk of me getting sick.  How is that a risk for him?

Yes, I agree that the pandemic has been mentally and emotionally difficult on a great number of people, our students included.  However, it is a bit of a misstep to say that it created a mental health crisis among our youth.  We already had alarming suicide rates and issues of self-harm.  We already had huge numbers of students who dealt with anxiety and depression and bullying and negative self-image and abuse.  What was different?  Being at home and away from a social support system was new and jarring to many of our students, who had been thriving in the traditional system, so their depression and anxiety was new to them--and their parents.  Some kids who had always done well in school were suddenly not keeping up in classes and were suffering mentally, and that was understandably frightening for parents.  On the other hand, we had many kids who were thriving in the online format precisely because they didn't have to deal with the daily bullying or constant reminders that they lacked a social circle and support system.  They were thriving because they didn't have to deal with the sometimes paralyzing anxiety of being in a classroom with people they felt didn't like them or know them or even see them, because they felt like they didn't belong.  Some of those kids could actually relax and focus on the learning in front of them, because the daily social anxieties were no longer a distraction.  We have always had a mental health crisis in our schools.  The difference with the pandemic was that it was different kids who were struggling, and some of those parents saw it first hand in their own homes for the first time this year.

As we have slowly moved back into opening up the buildings and bringing students back on campus, I think it's important to step back and look at the big picture.  We have an opportunity here to really make some important changes to an antiquated system--one that assumes a one-size-fits-all approach is workable and effective.  There have been so many who are pushing hard to go back to normal as soon (or sooner) as possible for the students who have struggled without the structure and security they've always known in their educational experiences.  But just like online learning didn't meet the social and emotional needs of all of our students, neither does the old system of school fit everyone's needs.  Why, then, are we so eager to push everyone back into the old model?  Why are we not looking forward, instead of backward? And yes, we do have structures in place for non-traditional learners and needs, but up until now--and moving forward again if we don't address it--those structures for the 'others' have been marginalized, looked down upon, and deemed only a last resort for the outcast.  It's time to celebrate and explore a variety of paths as important and viable educational options. We can and should create real opportunities to offer well-supported avenues of true educational experiences that meet the needs of all of our kids without making them feel 'less than' if they don't fit into the model that was devised to meet the needs of 17th century America. We live in an ever-changing, digitally connected world.  Our children's learning within four walls of a classroom at a prescribed time each weekday shouldn't be the 'correct' way to conduct our school; it should be only one way, and it certainly shouldn't be privileged over other ways to engage and connect simply because it's the system that looks familiar and is comfortable for the adults with the decision-making power.   

Worries...and Hopes

January 13, 2021

Every year at the beginning of the second semester, I do an activity with my students that's meant to bring us together as a community and highlight things we have in common.  We also don't always think about the fact that even the most put-together, seemingly happy people are often carrying around some pretty weighty hopes and fears.  It's a lesson in grace and empathy that's often very powerful.  I asked them to anonymously complete the sentences "I hope" and "I worry about". Then I read them out loud and just asked them to listen.  Here's a sample of  what they said: 

I worry about the well being of our country and how all this chaos will affect the future.

I worry that my elderly family members could get covid.

Current

CurrI worry I  will not make myself proud.

I worry the pandemic is going to be prevalent for a lot longer than it has to because people refuse to follow guidelines. 

I worry I will "fail" to reach society's standard of success 

I worry life will never go back to the way it was. 

I worry when I go to school my social anxiety will get in the way of me having fun and enjoying my new friends and family

I worry I wont be able to let go toxic people and hold onto those emotions. 

I worry I  will soon be granted responsibility I won't be able to handle.

I’m worried of repeating my parents mistakes.

I worry m

y insecurities will make me fat, depressed, poor, and lonely like many adults I’ve seen in society. 

I worry I will let down my family if I do not become as successful as they want me to be.   

I worry 

all of the trauma, fear, anger, hate, loss, and grief of this year will hold us back from moving forward. 

I worry 

m

y parents wont trust or love me for being a part of the LGBTQ+ community.     

Curren

I worry I will never overcome the trauma of being physically assaulted.

I worry I am/will be a failure.

Current

AND

I hope to realize that my high-functioning anxiety and depression is a skill that I can use towards my future success; I have to look at it positively and make it become something great about me. 

nt

I hope to have a "day one" mindset rather than "one day". I hope to be independent in all aspects of my life.

I hope 

I can move on from my past and become more free with myself. 

I hope that we get to go back to school soon.

I hope our world and country can heal from all the terrible things happening lately.

I hope that people will feel less alone. 

I hope when people see me they see Jesus in me and the light and love that comes from Him.

I hope our country can find peace.

I hope that I'll graduate as a better version of myself.

I hope that I will find someone to love me forever.

I hope that one day, people will stop bullying people, stop judging people based on their gender, race, or religion, and that our world will be a peaceful, happy place for everyone. 

I hope that I get into college and experience autonomy for the first real time in my soon to be young adult life. Also hopeful that I am able to learn more about myself in the process. 

I hope to find a good partner in my future relationships because all my family has had bad luck with men.

Curren

I hope that I find a friend. 

I hope I can be more honest with myself and those around me. 

It's a lot, the things these kids are carrying with them behind the scenes.  Whenever I hear people saying that teenagers are shallow, self-absorbed, or unaware, it makes me sad.  If that's what you think, you're just not taking the time to listen closely.

Curren