Winter Formal

January 28, 2017

As class advisor of Class of 2019, we were responsible for putting on this year's Winter Formal.  Our theme this year was Northern Lights, and I was so happy with how everything turned out!  We have a pretty fabulous group of officers, all of whom put in a lot of effort to make this such a successful event.  All of the girls were there all day for set up, and all but one officer was able to attend (Kylie had a recital in the evening, but put in a long morning with us before she had to get ready for her event).  Marcos, my partner in crime (and work hubby--ha ha!) and I love our Class of 2019 officers!

                    Rachel, Jordan, me, Claire, Aleeza, Alyssa, and Marcos (missing Kylie)

Almost Winter Formal Time...

January 8, 2015

We took Nicholas to pick out his tux for the upcoming Winter Formal.  I think he and his girlfriend are going to look fabulous in green!

The Winter Formal Speech

January 23, 2014

This Saturday is our Winter Formal, and as is my tradition, I give my kids the Winter Formal speech in each of my classes.  It's my little way of trying to help them make good decisions and good choices on an evening when sometimes they get caught up in the moment and forget about potential consequences.  Do I think every single kid will heed my advice?  No, of course not.  But if the speech makes even one kid reconsider making a potentially devastating poor choice, then it's well worth the time I spend in class talking about it.  Here's what I tell them:

This is a speech I give every year in my senior classes, regarding a couple of things I find important to remind kids of before each of the Big Three: Winter Formal, Prom, and Graduation. Pay attention, because this is serious stuff. I give this speech because I'm a mama, and you'll just have to humor me. I have my own kids, but you're my kids, too, so you'll just have to deal with me being a mama for a moment. There are three things I'd like to address.

The first one is, I'm excited to see your pictures from the Formal.  It's wonderful to see you all looking so grown up, such ladies and gentlemen! It's one of my favorite things to see.(I'm sad that I didn't get selected for Formal duty this year, so I'll miss it in person!). However, that being said, one of my least favorite things about the dances is seeing the kind of dancing that goes on out on the dance floor. Having fun or being close and romantic is one thing, but the 'freaking' on the dance floor? Not pretty. Not attractive. Simulated sex on the dance floor is not dancing! And it totally undoes the elegant sophisticated look you took all day cultivating as you were getting dressed up like young ladies and gentlemen. Would you dance like that in front of your mama?  No? Then why do you think it's okay to put on that kind of display in front of your physics teacher or your English teacher.  It's just uncomfortable, you know?

The second part of the speech deals with a much more serious thing, which is the whole issue of drinking. There are a lot of you who think that because you're feeling all grown up and dressed up, and it's a festive time, that it's okay to drink. First of all, let me remind you that IT'S NOT LEGAL. But you know that, and some of you will choose to ignore that. So if you choose to make the first bad decision and drink on the night of the dance, don't make a second bad decision to get behind the wheel of a car. When you are driving home from the dance, so will lots of other people, all hoping and expecting to get home safely.  Don't be the one who changes that due to negligence. I want all of you to make it home alive and to be back here on Monday for school, safe and sound. I want you to make it to your graduation, which you have all worked so hard for.

This is not just about you drinking. If you are with someone who has been drinking, don't let them get behind the wheel. They might be mad at you, but that's okay. They'll get over it. Don't be the one who watches someone drive away, and then later finds out he spun out of control on the way home because he shouldn't have been driving. Decisions like that--one stupid decision--can irrevocably alter people's lives. Forever. Don't be that person. Don't let your friend be that person. Make good decisions. And if you make the first bad decision to drink, make a second good decision, and stay where you are, or have a designated driver. Call mom or dad to pick you up. Call ME to pick you up. I don't care if you call me a three o'clock in the morning. I would jump in the car and come get you to take you home, rather than have you driving out on the road, drunk. I am absolutely sincere about that. I'm not that hard to get ahold of.

The last word about drinking is please don't show up to the dance already drunk. I've had students who have been ejected within 15 minutes of their arrival because they had so obviously been drinking. This is supposed to be a fun night, and getting kicked out of the dance is not fun. Even really good kids sometimes have a lapse of judgment, but you don't want that kind of lapse in judgment to put to waste all the money and time you spent getting ready for this event. And what if you are the girlfriend whose date got caught, drunk? You are either stuck there to finish out the dance alone, or you have to go home. There's also the issue of having to face your parents with the bad news. Even worse, students who get caught drunk at the dance will get expelled under Zero Tolerance. After all those years of hard work, after all that time invested, don't make a decision that could lead to you not walking graduation with all of your classmates when you are so close to the light at the end of the tunnel.

And finally, speaking of graduation, let's do the math, shall we? We are about five months away from the big night, the culmination of all your years of academic work. Winter Formal night is a big night for a lot of kids. You're feeling grown-up, you're feeling you are on the verge becoming a fully independent young adult. And a lot of students feel that this is the perfect time to experiment with other 'grown-up' behaviors. All I'm going to say, girls, is that five months down the line, right about graduation time, you don't want to be the one who is suddenly starting to show evidence that you've accidentally come away from the Winter Formal with an extra souvenir----one that will be with you forever. Boys--you don't want to give in to temptation now to be left with a souvenir you aren't ready to be responsible for for the rest of your life. Be careful. Make good choices.

And have a great time!

The Official Portrait

January 31, 2012

My handsome young man and his date Pearl at the Winter Formal.

Nicholas' First Winter Formal

January 8, 2012

Three or four days after my camera was stolen, it suddenly dawned on my that the following Saturday was Nicholas' first Winter Formal. Both my sister and my ex-husband, both of whom know how much it means to me to be a historian of sorts, had offered me the temporary use of their cameras, and I can't tell you how much that meant to me. However, Doug also knew that no matter what, he wanted to make sure we got my camera replaced. He knew it was the one thing I'd really want to splurge on, since it's something that I use all the time. He took me to Best Buy, and we shopped for cameras. The big brother of my stolen camera was on sale, and we couldn't pass it up. I was ecstatic to be able to use it to take pictures of my very handsome young man and his lovely date at the Buchanan Winter Formal.

Doug and Nicholas, getting ready for the dance. It was really sweet to see Doug helping Nicholas with his cuff links and his tie. Am I a little emotional? Yes. Yes I am. I remember a Winter Formal many years ago when Doug was putting on his own cuff links and tie, and picking me up for our Formal date.Mama's handsome boy.

It was pretty fun, actually, the whole week prior to the dance, when Doug and I tried to impart little gems of dating wisdom to him. When your first date ever is a Winter Formal, it's kind a high bar.

"Even if you don't want to dance, dance. It's her first dance, too, and you don't want her first high school dance to be one where she sits in a chair all night."

"Don't forget that you have to budget for tip for your dinner. And tax."

"Take a toothbrush so you can brush your teeth after dinner. You don't want to slow dance with the girl when there's a piece of lettuce stuck in your braces."

"Have a few conversation starters already planned, in case you're not sure what to talk about at dinner."

"At some point in time in the evening, make sure you tell your date she looks pretty. She probably will have spent a lot of time and effort to dress up for the dance--let her know you appreciate it."

"Look her in the eye when you're talking to her."

"Whatever you do, if there's a t.v. on in the restaurant, don't sit facing it. You get distracted far too easily by t.v., and you'll stop talking to her."

"When her mom picks her up from the dance, be sure to walk her out to the car. Don't just wave and let her walk out by herself. Also, if she's cold, offer her your tux jacket to wear."

"Make her laugh, and you won't go wrong."

And to his credit, he didn't balk or get embarrassed, or even roll his eyes when we dropped these little hints throughout the week. He just took it all in.

Nicholas and his best friend, Edward.
Nicholas and his date, Pearl. (Pearl is Edward's cousin.) They all went out to dinner together at Red Robin before the dance.








I thought perhaps Nicholas might not dance, but his whole group got out and rocked out together.
When I drove Nicholas home, he said he'd had a lot of fun. Of course, he might have just been saying that because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. But his Facebook status later that night: WINTER FORMAL: AWESOME. BEST NIGHT EVER.

My little boy is growing up, and I couldn't be happier!

Sneak Peak at Nicholas' Winter Formal Suit

December 29, 2011

Next week we actually get to see the boy in the suit. I think he's going to look so handsome!

Winter Formal--Bree's Junior Year

January 19, 2010

Saturday was the Winter Formal at our school. I've been to lots of them, since I love to chaperone the big dances at our school, but this was a special one, since this was the first time Bree attended.

During Christmas, her boyfriend Jeff asked her to the formal, via a sweet message delivered by the stuffed animal that was his Christmas gift to her. Both his parents and I got to be there to see the exchange--it was pretty adorable.

She and I spent some time shopping for dresses and shoes, and making hair and nail appointments for her. Luckily, she's not an extravagant sort of kid, so although she wanted to look beautiful for the big night, she was not out trying to break the Bank 'o Mom, which I appreciate. Ultimately, she decided on a simple but elegant black dress, accented with some killer shoes and rhinestone jewelry.

On Saturday afternoon, Bree and three other girls all got together to get ready at the house of one of the girls. After about an hour, the boys--their dates--all joined them. Parents were then invited to come have our photo op moments between 6-7, while the kids were waiting for their limo to arrive. (I never got a limo to go to any of my dances in, but it seems that's the thing they all do now. Our kids were pretty smart, though--rather than paying to have the limo wait outside the dance for a few hours, they only rented it to take them to dinner and then back to the dance. Parents dropped off cars at the school so that some of the kids could drive everyone else home once the dance was over. It was a pretty smart way to get a little elegance without over-extending their pocketbooks.)

Once the limo driver settled them all in their luxurious ride, they headed off to BJ's, where they had a reservation for dinner at 7:30. It was apparently a popular place, as several large groups chose to dine there. Good thing they had reservations! At the same time, I made my way over to the school, where I settled in at my assigned task as ticket-taker for the night's event. That's a pretty great gig, by the way, if you're going to chaperone a dance. You get to see all of the kids all dressed up coming in the door, their bellies filled with good food and their feet not yet swollen from the uncomfortable heel heights and unfamiliar straps of brand new tortuous (but beautiful!) shoes. The night is still young and fresh with anticipation. Plus, if you're at the door, you don't have to see those elegantly dressed young men and women writhing suggestively on the dance floor on the opposite side of the room, pressed too closely together for the comfort of anyone over the age of 23 whose job it is, by virtue of being witness to the provocative nature of their dances, to wrest the bodies asunder. Especially given that my daughter would be one of the kids on the dance floor that night, those were not images I needed to have in my brain. Nope, I'll leave the dance floor policing to someone else, thank you very much, and just enjoy the polite chit-chat of the attendees at the door, complimenting the gentlemen on their sophisticated tuxes, and the ladies on their finery.

(As a side note, let me just say that year in and year out, I am amazed at some of the dresses these girls' mamas and daddies let them walk out the door wearing. I mean, yes, I get that if you've got it, you are proud to show it off. But really--are these girls taking their moms shopping with them when they pick out dresses that are almost short enough to be able to see what color panties they've coordinated with? Are the moms looking at these dresses that are so tight they might as well have been painted on their bodies? Are the dads so proud that their daughters can pull off the Barbie Doll look that they're willing to send out that kind of message to the boy who is lucky enough to get to be by her side for the evening? Not that I'm advocating long sleeves, high necklines, and hemlines that fall modestly just below the ankle bone. No, I just think that a dress that a sixteen year old girl wears out in public ought to be comprised of more material than it takes to create a standard pillowcase.)

Anyway, Bree and her group of friends arrived at the dance somewhere around nine-thirty, and stayed to dance until the last song. As promised, I stayed away from her during the dance so that she didn't have to worry about me hovering, and therefore stealing away a bit of their autonomy, which after all, is a big part of what these nights are about. You get to try on a little bit of a new you, when you're a kid attending formal. You dress yourself in the robes of an adult--new and somewhat foreign clothes. You take on, maybe for the first time, the responsibility of ordering and paying for dinner on your own; you learn the etiquette of both figuratively and literally dancing around members of the opposite sex; you negotiate the gentle art of leave-taking at the end of a pleasant (or even not so pleasant, as can sometimes happen) night.

This is what the dance was, is. A metaphor of becoming. I am watching my daughter, and all of her friends, these children who in my mind's eye are yet five years old, or seven, or twelve--whatever age they were when they first fell into the orbit of her world (and by extension, mine), become simultaneously sixteen, seventeen, twenty-four. Becoming who they will become. They are standing on the edge, testing out their wings before taking flight.