But How Do I Answer the Telephone?

March 16, 2010

Unless you've been living under a rock or in a much more temperate clime than I do, you recognize this:

Yes, folks, it's the Snuggie.

When I first saw a commercial for these blankets with arms on television, I thought it was a joke. Seriously? People in distress over how to be warm and talk on the phone or find the remote at the same time? C'mon, it's not rocket science! Do these people lose connection with their extremities once they don't have a visual on them? "Oh no--my arms have disappeared!! What am I going to do if I need to change the channel?"

When my daughter suddenly decided that it was the must-have Christmas gift this past year, I was amused and decided to order online, sort of as a tongue-in-cheek present. I'm sure the new designer animal prints made it even cooler for the sixteen-year-old set, and the buy-one-get-one-free offer certainly appealed to the ninja shopper in me. Turns out, the joke was on me.

I should have known there'd be problems when I went to the As-Seen-On-TV website and started to order. $19.95 plus shipping and handling for two, even though in stores they were selling individually for twenty bucks. (For the record, all the local shops were out of the leopard print Snuggies--the blanket of choice for Bree.) However, they didn't show exactly how much shipping and handling was until you submitted the order. Wanna know how much it was? $18. 90, with tax. So much for two for the price of one. If it sounds too good to be true, folks, it is. So I was irritated, but I figured, what the heck. I have two daughters, and if I found them in the stores, that's how much I'd spend for two anyway. Okay, so I let it go.

And then....nothing. I got a confirmation email that my order had been placed, but nothing was deducted from my bank account, and no Snuggie appeared on my doorstep. One week went by, then two. Nothing happened. I went back online to check the status of the order, but there's no way to do that on the site, and naturally the 1-800 number takes you to a charming recording. (No human beings were used in the making of this message.) No way to get through, no, one at home, thanks for trying. Ugh!

Mind you, that was in mid-December. Christmas came and went, and Bree's presents under the tree were shy one Snuggie. Still, no charges appeared on my bank account, so I figured the order had been misplaced or overlooked and that was that. Until yesterday. Yesterday, I checked in on my bank account and found not one, but two nearly forty dollar charges from the fine folks in Snuggie world--three months after the fact! They tried to do it undercover, too, under some vague and innocuous company name. They couldn't fool me, though. I know how to Google, and yeah, I found them out. If they're gonna charge me that kind of money, I'd better be toasty warm underneath four cozy blankets with eight arms. Right now, though, I've got nothing. Zip. Actually, I guess that's not entirely true, since what I do have is an uphill battle of paperwork to dispute the charges for non-existent merchandise, a canceled debit card, and sudden dislike for leopard prints.