Strange Book Titles

July 13, 2011

I love books--all kinds. I love classics, autobiographies, teen fiction, chick lit, non-fiction, trivia--lots of variety in my reading diet. However, my search for books and weird sense of curiosity every once in awhile sends me off on a Google search for weirdly-titled books. You know, the ones that you'd never in a million years think would make it past a publisher, yet somehow still do. There's a niche market for just about everything, it seems. Here's some of the ones that turned up in my most recent search for odd titles. Just so you know, I think these titles are funny, but not nearly funny enough to entice me to read any of them!

1. What is Your Poo Telling You? Um...whatever it is, I don't want to hear it!

2. Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre What kind of freak parents are reading this to their kids? Let the nightmares begin!
3. Reusing Old Graves The Gold Standard in recycling.

4. Whose Bottom is This? And to think, most pre-schoolers can only identify animals by their faces.

5. Living With Crazy Buttocks Speaking of posteriors, I thought we as a society just had to worry about big butts. Now we have to worry about crazy ones, too?

6. I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen I don't even want to know....and yet I do.

7. How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read Ah, how's that for irony? You have to actually read this book to know how to talk about the book you haven't read.

8. How To Avoid Huge Ships Okay, first of all? Get out of their way! Why does one need an entire book on this? And secondly? What was so unclear in the first book that this text required a second edition?

9. Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them: How To Keep Your Tractors Happy and Your Family Running Gotta love a man with his priorities in order.

10. Curbside Consultation of the Colon What on God's green earth would possess you to have a consultation about your colon curbside? Borrow some milk curbside? Yes. Chat about the neighbor's gardening prowess curbside? Sure. Organize the next block yard sale curbside? Of course. But consult about your colon? Not for me, thankyouverymuch.

11. Cooking With Pooh Oh, somebody thought he was very clever, no? He's probably still chuckling to himself about this one.

12. Cheese Problems Solved Cheese problems? Is this an issue? I had no idea. As far as I'm concerned, cheese = goodness. What problems could there possibly be?

13. Anybody Can Be Cool...But Awesome Takes Practice I'm so excited! With a little practice, I can be awesome! Who knew? Oh wait...how does one practice awesome???

14. Don't Tell Mom I Work On the Rigs. She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse Because how could Mom hold her head up if she had to tell folks I'm not tickling the ivories anymore?