Well, I Didn't See THAT Coming...

March 28, 2022 Like a lot of people I know, I love to watch the Oscars every year. I love the glamour of all the dresses and unique suits, the love letter to the art of film and the craft of story-telling, and the speeches that never fail to make me cry. The past couple of Covid years gave rise to unprecedented changes to the ceremony, like it did to nearly everything else. This year, I was looking forward to a return to a more normal Oscars. Initially, it felt like it was going to be just that. There were some beautiful moments, there were some humorous moments. There was the celebration of movies that made me want to plan a movie marathon in the near future. And then... Chris Rock came up to present, and he did his brand of humorous banter. Topical, a little edgy but relatively tame, appropriate for the audience and moment. And then he turned his eye and wit to Jada Pinkett Smith. His flippant joke referenced Jada's medical condition, alopecia, about which she has recently spoken publicly. She has struggled with hair loss and has made peace with it, it seems, and showed up looking positively regal and beautiful at the awards show. Chris rock saw her sitting near the front of the stage, and took his shot. Will Smith appeared to laugh at the joke at first, but Jada did not, and immediately after his initial reaction, Will Smith quickly and boldly strode on stage and slapped Rock across the face, hard. On live, national television. It was so surreal that at first it seemed it had to be staged. Rock's reaction, as he carried on after Smith stormed off stage, was professional but he was clearly stunned and rattled. Smith continued to rail and rage from his seat before the show continued on as before. Smith would later accept his Oscar with a tearful apology to the Academy, to his family, and to the other nominees, among others. Chris Rock was not among those who would receive an apology on the stage (though it would come a day later). There's a lot to unpack here. First of all, although comedy does push boundaries, it is a particular brand of meanspiritedness that seeks to find laughter at the expense of those with medical conditions or issues about which they have no control. Chris Rock says his joke was in reference only to a movie, rather than her condition, but her condition is the thing that made Rock reference that particular movie (G.I. Jane). I don't buy it. You want to make fun of people's choices? Sure. But a difficult medical condition? Not okay. And honestly, even though Pinkett Smith had made a post about her acceptance of her new look on Instagram, that doesn't make it public fodder for someone's amusement. Her call, not anyone else's. That being said, Smith was absolutely out of line. I like Will Smith. I always have. His every-boy charm is one of the things that make him so relateable and charming for so many people. So this side of Smith was so out of the norm that his behavior was shocking. It would have been shocking from anyone, of course, in that arena of general goodwill and decorum, but especially so for Smith. Everyone in the room collectively gasped. Even when he won his Oscar twenty minutes or so later, and he issued his tearful apology, it lacked what it really needed to garner a true acceptance--accountability. He apologized, was shamefaced at his behavior, but said he was doing it to protect his wife, his family. He chose to excuse his behavior by justifying it, couching in terms of loving his family. He wanted to be a beacon of love, a model of standing up and protecting those who need it. But no, Will Smith, one does not become a model, a beacon of love by assaulting someone. That does not a beacon of light make. That does not justify the actions. To be a true model is to act and speak in love, which is much harder to do with those with whom you disagree. I do not mean to imply he should have sat impassively by while he felt his wife was being attacked, but there were many other ways to handle it. To address Rock man-to-man after the event, or back stage, and for him to demand a public apology from Rock at the event would be one way to handle it. To have made his point deliberately, openly in his acceptance speech and to denounce that kind of mean-spirited 'comedy'. I know he didn't know if he was going to win, but it certainly would be a possiblity. He could have made some public commentary (as he did subsequently) through his social media, which would of course have a wide and far-reaching audience. His behavior was inexcusable. Lastly, I am appalled that Smith was allowed to remain in the audience after the assault. He should have been escorted out. I can think of very few others in that room who would have been given the same sort of grace in that moment. I am guessing many people thought it would be too awkward to figure out on the fly how to address his potential win if he had only minutes before been removed for his behavior, but that is not reason enough to look the other way at a physical attack. If they were worried about lack of decorum and awkward recovery, Will Smith had already crossed that bridge. He was allowed to save face because it was too uncomfortable to have to address it outloud, and that is no reason to close one's eyes to an assault. In the aftermath, both Smith and Rock have come out, most assuredly with the help of their publicists, to make public apologies, as they should. Calmer heads are prevailing, and they are each owning their poor behavior and choices. Certainly some of the apology is an attempt to regain their status as affable, loveable entertainers, rather than pure, true contrition, but it's a start. They both played their role in sullying what might otherwise have been a beautiful and momentous night, and they will both have much work to do, publicly and personally, to regain what they lost on Sunday night.