One Good Turn Deserves Another

April 30, 2009

The other day I wrote that seeing a teenager doing something nice for someone else was one of the things that makes me happy. Today, my son was the recipient of exactly this brand of kindness. He wasn't exactly a teenager by my estimation, but probably in his early twenties. It still had the same effect.

Nicholas has always loved to hold the door open for others entering a building behind him. Whether it be a man, a woman, a family member, or a complete stranger, he'll hold the door open to let them enter first. Well, today I had all the kids in a shopping center, and we were trying to take care of several errands there. On the corner of the center is a gas station/mini-mart, and I told the kids we could stop in there and grab a drink and a quick snack before we headed home. Since our car was parked at the other end of the center, the girls and I walked back to the van to drive it over to the gas station, but Nicholas said he'd just meet us there. He's beginning to assert his independence, so he wanted to go it alone, and I let him, of course first admonishing him to watch for all the crazy drivers in the parking lot.

We pulled up to the gas station a couple of minutes later, and Nicholas was on his way out of the store, big bottle of Mountain Dew in his hand. I quickly tried to usher him back in the store, since I didn't want the clerk to think he was trying to steal it. Obviously, since I had just gotten there, I hadn't paid for it yet, and I knew Nicholas didn't have any money with him. As I was saying all of this to him and guiding him back in the store, a young man passed us on his way out. Nicholas pointed at him and said, "But he already paid for it!" Confused, I looked at the young man Nicholas was pointing at. He turned to me and said, "It's true. I bought your son's soda for him." He pointed at Nicholas. "That young man held the door for me when I walked in. He was polite, he was respectful. That's a good boy you have there. You're bringing him up right. So I thought it would be nice to pay for his soda. Have a nice day!" Like lots of 12 year old boys, sometimes Nicholas struggles with making good choices, and sometimes he's too impulsive and reactionary, and it can get him into trouble. But today, Nicholas was beaming, and he stood up tall and proud.

Okay, so I know it's silly, but that kind of thing brings a tear to my eye, even writing about it now. Of course, I love to hear positive things about my kids; it does them (and me) a world of good. But also, to have a kid that age go out of his way to acknowledge and even reward that kind of behavior? Well, he didn't have to do it, but I'm glad he did. It shows me once again that in a world of cynicism and pessimism, I am not wrong to continue to believe in and look for the good and kindhearted spirit in others.

Rain Concert

April 30, 2009

Tuesday night we went out with some friends to see the tribute band RAIN. For those of you who don't know, RAIN is a Beatles tribute band, and I have to say, they are really a lot of fun to see in concert. Doug and I took our daughter Brianna, and our friends Jim and Anja brought Jim's daughter Kathryn. Let me tell you, the fifteen year-olds had just as much fun as those of us who grew up listening to the Beatles.

RAIN takes you through the decades and evolution of the Beatles look and sound. They have perfected their looks, mannerisms, and accents, as well as their muscial and vocal nuances. The lighting and video show that interspersed live action shots with old footage of the Beatles concerts and appearances certainly added to the atmosphere. Their "Paul" was the voice of the band for the most part, and he was charming and engaging as the MC who moved the concert along. If that's the way Paul was in concert, it's no wonder all the girls were swooning for him during their heyday.

Besides the concert itself, we really enjoyed the people-watching. There was a huge bald guy, probably in his fifties. He was just throwing himself into the concert with abandon. (We were in the balcony, so we could see across the whole audience.) He was dancing, he was swaying, he was throwing his hands in the air, he was throwing his head back to let the songs come flowing out of him. I loved it! Now THAT'S the way to experience a concert! I thought he was just adorable.

The only thing that I had a problem with was not so much the concert itself, as it is with concerts in general. The obligatory 'encore' at the end of every concert these days is so staged and contrived that it just drives me crazy. It's not really an encore; it's a charade. Every band goes into a concert knowing that they are reserving two or three of their very best, most beloved songs. They aren't part of the concert, because we, the audience, will demand that they come back on stage. When they leave the stage, we pretend to be begging them for more, and they pretend that since we've been such an amazing audience, they'll oblige us. It just seems like an exercise in pre-planned narcissism that we as an audience are happy to participate in. Can't they just play all the songs they are planning to play already? We promise to still clap at the end. The REAL end.

Don't let that last paragraph make you think I didn't enjoy the concert. I really did. That little pet peeve of mine was just a momentary irritation, and the rest of the night was fabulous. I love date nights with hubby, and a night that includes our good friends and our charming teens is just a bonus.

P.S.--For those of you who read my last post, I did, in fact, go buy myself some flowers for my table yesterday. And it made me happy: )

My Favorite Things

April 28, 2009

I feel like a real blogger now that some one has tagged me in their blog! Fidgeting Gidget posted this meme a couple of days ago, and sent the fun along to me. I actually found her blog by happy accident, and have really enjoyed checking out her stories. If you get a chance, stop by and see what she's up to!

Rules:
1. Mention the person who nominated you. (Check.)

2. List six unimportant things that make you happy.
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1. I've got to say, figuring out how to create these links is making me pretty happy. For you old pros, I suppose it seems obvious, but I've never done it before. If I'm right, the links to these blogs I'm tagging should work just fine. Let me know if I'm wrong!


2. I love taking a picture that comes out just right. I'm a big photography nut, but that just means I take lots of pictures--just ask my kids. It doesn't, however, mean that they all come out great. But every once in awhile, one comes out that makes me smile every time I look at it.



3. Diet Pepsi. Seriously. If you had to assess the chemical make-up of my blood, you'd probably find something akin to Diet Pepsi flowing through my veins. Hey, I know it's not good for me, but I figure there are a lot worse addictions I could have. And if I don't have my Diet Pepsi in the morning, I'm not happy, hubby's not happy, the kids are not happy, my students are not happy. I'm just trying to make the world a better place, you know?


4. It really makes my day when a student goes out of his or her way to do something nice for someone else. There's a lot of ugly stuff in the news all the time about teenagers, but there's some pretty great ones around, too.


5. I love it when there are flowers on my kitchen table. It makes my house feel more like home. I made a vow when I got divorced from the kids' dad that I would buy myself flowers every couple of weeks just because, and I did for a long time. I got out of the habit for a while, but I think it's time to start up again!


6. Music also makes me smile. How can you not smile when you're listening to a great 80s playlist? Or "I'm Yours," by Jason Mraz? That song makes me happy every time I hear it.


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3. Tag six blogs, state the rules & notify them with a teeny comment on their blog.

1. Jodi at Pistolsandpopcorn--Love the great pictures and commentary!

2. Mom at Life...Exaggerated--Hilarious!

3. Kate at sauciewee--Always makes me smile when I stop by her blog.

4. JennyKate at JennyKate's Spot--Definitely fun to read.

5. Anniebanannie at This Momma's Musings--Beautiful layout!

6. Mrs. C at Next to Heaven--Lots of cool stuff to see on her blog.

These are some of the blogs I've had the pleasure of coming across since I started on this blogging endeavor. I'm sure you'll enjoy them, too!

Have a great day!

msprimadonna67

It's the Little Things That Make Us Laugh

April 25, 2009

As some of you may know, I drive one of those ubiquitous silver Honda Odyssey soccer mom mini-vans. They're everywhere. (On a side note, it is NOT my first choice for my main mode of transportation, but I'll save that story for another time.) So at Friday after school pick-up time at the elementary school, I happened to pull up to the curb right behind my van's twin. (Okay, so it was probably cleaner inside, but still.) I watched my kids gather up their belongings and race towards us to get into hop in.

Those of you who know Nicholas know that he doesn't always focus in on the details of his surroundings when he's got a single-minded goal. (You know where this is going already, right?) His goal yesterday was to sit in 'shotgun,' because when he first glanced up and saw the van, he saw that the passenger seat, normally occupied by my oldest, was empty. That, of course, was because he was looking at someone else's van. Bree and I watched from our van while Nicholas ran, full-speed ahead, head down as if he were charging, toward the van in front of us. He slammed his hands against the door to stop himself, yelled at the top of his lungs, 'SHOTGUN'!, opened the door, threw his backpack on the front seat floor, and sat down before he looked up at the probably quite bewildered driver of the other van.

He scrambled back out of the van, sheepishly glancing at the two young girls who were looking at him suspiciously as they were loading their backpacks into the back of their van. In the meantime, once I realized what he was doing I had tried to honk to get his attention, to no avail. Danielle had watched the whole thing, bemused expression on her face, because she, too, had figured out that Nicholas was headed to the wrong car. She just thought it would be funnier to watch her brother do it than to warn him. Huge embarrassed look on his face, Nicholas headed back to our van, and when he opened the door, we all dissolved into fits of laughter, including him. And nothing beats starting off your weekend with a fit of laughter!

And We Wonder Where the Kids Get It....

April 24, 2009

I just got an email from a parent that said, "Whoever came up with this assignment ought to be beaten with a stick." That 'whoever', obviously, is me. Granted, it is a tough assignment, and it requires planning and research. That's what I do--I'm paid to prepare these 17-year-olds to enter college or the work world and be adept at...planning and research. There's also a collaborative effort involved, and although there can sometimes be problems in group dynamics, navigating those group dynamics are also school and workplace skills. We do a disservice to kids if we make them think that they'll never have to work together with classmates or co-workers in their lives. And, by the way, it's cool if you disagree with me on that particular point, but should I be 'beaten with a stick'? And is it okay to teach the kids that that's an acceptable way of articulating one's disagreements?

If I Go Missing....

April 23, 2009

I got to work today, and discovered that most of us are getting pretty significant schedule changes in our class line-ups next year. For me, that probably means losing a World Literature class and picking up another AP class. The thing is, the AP classes write about triple the amount the regular senior classes do (and ALL of them turn in everything, so I can't even count on lessening my reading due to apathy), so I'm afraid I'm going to be buried next year. I have a tough enough time getting through all the AP essays with just one class and giving them all the adequate feedback and input they need to be prepared for the exam. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE my AP class. I'm just afraid I will love another one a little bit less.

The most annoying thing about it all is that admin. asked us all for our requests for schedule for next year, then essentially threw them out the window. I know how hard it is to make a schedule; I was dept. chair for twelve years. But so far, I don't know of anyone whose request has been honored. Fine, but then don't ask like it matters, if it doesn't. The guy whose AP class I'm picking up specifically asked NOT to have to give up his class, and I specifically asked to keep just the one that I currently teach. Since I already have three different classes that I teach, trying to also keep up with the additional paperwork load of double the amount of AP students might just send me over the edge.

If I go missing next school year, try looking under the mountain of papers in my classroom...

Robert Cray

April 22, 2009

Doug and I went to the Robert Cray concert last night. A real date night out, with dinner and everything. : ) It is wonderful to have a fabulous 15 year old daughter who is willing and able to babysit the younger ones so that we can have a night to ourselves. All it took was a little iTunes bribery--small price to pay.

Last week was our anniversary, and we decided when we got married that it would be fun and inspire a little creativity to follow the old anniversary 'traditions': first year=paper, second year=cotton, etc. Doug got me super amazingly soft cotton sheets for our bed this year, and I got him Robert Cray tickets (which I knew he really wanted!) with the promise of a cotton RC t-shirt when we got there. (I know, we're simple folks. It works for us.)

The concert was fantastic. Even though I'm no musician, I can appreciate the amazing talent. He plays so beautifully you can't help but be physically and emotionally drawn into his groove. And his singing voice? Clear, enveloping, mesmerizing. Soulful and powerful. Doug's been a long-time admirer of RC, and I'm so glad I was able to share in that experience with him. I'll be thinking about last night for a long time to come.

Crazy Loud Car-Crushing Trucks

April 20, 2009

We certainly made the social rounds this past weekend. On Friday night, Danielle was invited to a sleepover birthday party, and Brianna met up with about 20 of her friends to see "17 Again" at the theater. (I swear, I can't believe how many friends that girl has--I don't think I even knew that many people when I was her age, let alone that many people I could call good friends. And she is clearly the social director/organizer of the group! We are so blessed that she is such a friendly, good-hearted girl who makes people smile wherever she goes, and that she's got such a strong innate ability to choose positive people with whom to surround herself.) Anyway, that left just Nicholas to hang out with Doug and me after Family Dinner Night, so we decided we would do something that would specifically appeal to the 100% boy in him.

I can't take credit for this idea; it was all Doug's. He texted me early on in the day to let me know that the Monster Truck Races were happening at the fair grounds that night. Naturally, this had escaped my radar, since I don't tend to be on the lookout for the noisy, testoterone-fueled kinds of entertainment. But since he brought it up, I checked it out and discovered that the times coincided nicely with drop-off and pick up time for Bree, and the admissions charge was pretty reasonable. Our fate was sealed, and the plans were made.

We decided it would be fun to surprise Nicholas, so we didn't tell him where we were going. Even as we were pulling up to the fairgrounds, he was trying to guess what we were taking him to that was 'especially for him without the girls.' Star Wars convention? Robotics show? Airplane museum? Some place with really cool Lego creations? As we got closer to the entrance, we could hear the engines booming. A huge grin broke out across his face and excitement danced in his eyes. MONSTER TRUCKS! We had scored big parent points--the boy was beside himself.

I have to admit, attending the thing didn't make a convert out of me. It's just not my cup of tea. It's a little too noisy and dirty for me. Not that I have an aversion to dirt and noise, as anyone who has ever been to my house is well aware; I just prefer the kinds of dirt and noise generated by children, rather than by burly men in big trucks. That being said, it was well worth it to me to see the way Nicholas cheered for his favorite (isn't it interesting how quickly one can attach to a 'favorite'), throwing his fists in the air and his voice to the wind. He was transfixed. Crazy loud, car-crushing trucks for him, memory of the look on his face for me. Definitely a fair trade-off!

Afterwards, we picked up Bree and continued our family night with a Rock Band concert. Nicholas and Doug are our Rock Star guitar players, and Bree is learning the words to all kinds of songs she's never even heard before. I'm rockin' the drums, though I have to admit that right now I'm the weakest link. I guess taking a couple of months off from my 'skills' was a bit of a set-back.

The next day, we all took in a little sun at Danielle's softball game. By 'took in a little sun,' I mean baked 'til our shoulders and noses were a crispy red. We seemed to jump from the low seventies to the high eighties overnight, and bad mom that I am, I didn't remember the sunscreen. (It's inexplicable to me, that sunscreen seems to be the one item that forever slips into the black hole of my memory whenever I'm trying to be prepared for an outing. Bandaids? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Something to drink? Check. A blanket to sit on? Check. Everything else except the kitchen sink? Check, check, check. Oh yeah....except the dang sunscreen!) Anyway, Danielle had a whole entourage there to watch her get another base hit. I'm a big fan of being a big fan. Though my other children sometimes grumble and complain, we all head out in full force to see whichever one of them happens to be playing, performing, dancing, competing...whatever. I believe we could all use a little cheering section now and then, and with a family,. you've got one built right in. Someday they'll thank me for it. Maybe.

The next day, with the kids off to their dad's, Doug and I had the day to ourselves. We decided to take in a concert by the Clovis Community Band. My good friend Bill Murray was playing a solo, so we were glad we could go see him. (I'm a sucker for a good musician, but that's another blog.) The concert was lovely, especially Bill's solo. Doug and I got to visit with some other old friends who were also in the band. Later, we met up with Doug's nephew Justin and his fiancee Courtney, and we played pool for a few hours. Although Doug plays every week, it had been almost four months since I last played, so it felt good to know that I hadn't totally lost my way around the pool table. Finally, we made our way home. I cooked one of our standby favorites for dinner, and we sank into the couch to watch a little bit of mindless fun on the television. Not a bad way to end our day.

It's Friday!

The last one was a bit of a downer, so this one is all about the good.

Five things that make me happy today:

1. It's Friday! I'm looking forward to the upcoming weekend with my family.

2. It's my choice for family dinner tonight. I'm thinking about maybe Sweet Tomatoes, but that could change in the next six or seven hours.

3. Danielle has a softball game tomorrow, and odds are that it will be much more pleasant weather than the windy Wednesday game.

4. The guys at Doug's work have figured out who hit his truck, so their insurance will handle it. No deductible for us!

5. I got to chat with my friend Allison today, who came in to see what kind of classes she'll be teaching when she comes back next year.

Enough

So, I've been trying to figure out for quite sometime now why a particular person's opinion continues to hold such importance to me, and I think I've finally figured out why I've been holding onto a relationship (for lack of a better word) with a ghost from my past. You'd think I might have figured it out before, but no. We were inseperable for a time, but then, without much warning, I was expendable. This happens to all of us at one time or another, I suppose, but because I didn't really know why it happened, it caused me to question my judgment. Did I just think we were close? What did I do (or not do) to cause the rift? What was it about me that made it easy to walk away? Was I not smart enough? Pretty enough? Interesting enough? Just not....enough?

Those questions, I think, have colored who I am. I still question, with most people, if they think of our friendship or relationship in the same way I do. I don't always trust myself to believe that our friendship is as important to them as I think it is. That makes me sound pretty insecure, but the reality is I have a very close circle of safe friends with whom I absolutely believe I've found acceptance and love. And I'm very happy with my life. But every now and then, life takes its natural course and one person turns left while the other continues straight ahead. It happens, and that's okay. But I still find myself trying to prove to myself that I am smart enough, pretty enough, interesting enough. And I sometimes look to others to reassure me that I am. Enough. That's not their job; it's mine.

So, great. I've got it all figured out. Well, the why, anyway. What do to with that information? I don't know. I guess being my own therapist only goes so far.