Graduation Time

June 6, 2018

Well, my friends—it’s almost time.  The night where you get to celebrate all that you have achieved is just around the corner.  I am so proud of your accomplishments—some of you have worked very, very hard to make it to this night and have overcome personal, emotional, and academic hardships to earn that little piece of paper that can open up new avenues and opportunities for you.  Well done! You’ve made it!

              Graduation can be an emotional night.  Some of you might be a little nostalgic and sad about losing the comfort and familiarity of home, school, and family as you head off on to new adventures.  Some of you will be relieved that you actually made it.  Some of you may feel elation that you are done with the rules and dress code of high school.  (I’ll leave you to the fantasy that there are no rules you have to follow once you leave high school and your parents’ homes, at least for awhile.  You’ll find out the truth soon enough.)  Some of you might even feel anxious or nervous about what the future holds.  Most of you will feel proud of yourselves.  All of these emotions are real, valid, and totally normal.  Just know that while you are feeling all of these things, your parents are, too. Whether you are the first one in the family graduating, the middle child, or the baby of the family, please recognize that this is a milestone for your mamas and your daddies, too. They are thrilled, stressed, nostalgic, anxious, and hopeful, just like you are.  So when Dad wants to talk to you for the 30^th time about how to be safe when you’re away at college, don’t just sigh and say, “I KNOW!”  He’s not just telling you he wants you to be safe; he’s telling you he loves you.  Let him.  When your mom wants you to smile for just one more picture (or 20), do it for her.  Do it with gratitude, and not eye-rolling, because when she says, “Say cheese!” she’s actually saying, “I am going to miss these times, these moments with you.”  Let her know that you hear what she’s saying, even when she’s not saying it.  Let her know you’ll miss those moments too.  This moment in time is yours, but it’s also theirs.  Share it and enjoy it together.

              So here you are, on the verge of your new adventure, with your family and friends surrounding you and cheering you on.  Some of these people you’ll be sitting in the stands with, you might remain friends with for the rest of your life.  Some of them you might see now and again, but you’ll eventually drift apart.  And for some of them, graduation night might be the last time you ever see them.  High school is like that, just like the rest of your life.  People will come in and out of your life, some only briefly, and some for long and enduring stretches of your journey.  Regardless, each person has an impact on those they encounter.  Be thankful for the mark your classmates have had on you; hope that you have been a blessing to those you have touched.  It’s really the most important life lesson, at the end of the day—one that isn’t found in a textbook or on a test.  Be a blessing to the people you encounter, whether it be for a day or for a lifetime.  Your life’s mission is to find the best way for you to do that.

              And speaking of life’s mission, you all have one.  I don’t know what your mission is, and maybe you don’t yet either.  That’s okay.  Just look for it.  Be mindful of it.  Find your passion and follow it—that’s a great place to start looking.  And when you do find your mission, make it your life’s work to meet it head on, with intention and care.  Seek positive mentors.  Be a positive mentor to those who follow behind you.  Look for ways to leave your world and the people you encounter better than they were when you first arrived.  Let that be your legacy and your mark.  Will you make mistakes and wrong turns?  Of course you will!  Will you learn and grow from them?  That, my friends, is entirely up to you.  I certainly hope so.  Mistakes do not define success; reaction to mistakes does.  How will you respond?

              So here I am, reflecting on the mark you have already made on me, as I think about all the ways you will move out into the rest of your tomorrows.  Know that all of you, from the most gregarious to the most introverted, have made my year a special one.  I always marvel that I have future businessmen, politicians, amazing stay-at-home moms and dads, teachers, mechanics, engineers, pastors, musicians, and farmers among my students.  It’s a privilege to get to teach students who will grow up and be the decision-makers of the future.  It’s the reason I keep teaching. YOU are the reason I keep teaching.  So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for another wonderful year.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.  Good luck, much love, and best wishes on all your future endeavors.

                                                                                                                   Mama Lutjens

Designing New Promo Materials for Cut Shot

January 28, 2018

The boys are doing a lot more gigging these days, so I'm updating their social media, banners, and merchandise.  I did the original banners and t-shirts, but it's been a long time and I think it's time for a refresh.  I'm still pricing and looking at the design tools at a few sites, but this is the first look at a few designs we're kicking around for banners this time around.

We're In the News Again

January 25, 2018

We started the day with an unplanned faculty meeting.  Our school's in the news again, and it's not good.  Our new principal has had to deal with a lot of negative press this year, and has had to put out a lot of fires.  Personally, I think he's doing a great job with communication and trying to stay ahead of the situations that affect us all.  He probably knew this was part of the job, at least intellectually so, but perhaps didn't plan on it being a non-stop barrage this year.  It isn't every year--this is just his lucky year.  Today's issue had to do with a negative op-ed published in the local paper about a couple of our former students who were accused of sexual assault at an off-campus party two years ago when they were minors.  Now that the boys are no longer minors (and no longer attend our school), there is a civil suit against them.  Since they are now adults, their names and details of the civil suit are being publicly released.  This is terrible; if the boys are guilty, then I fully support the consequences they reap.  However, the op-ed is calling out the school and the boys' coaches for not kicking them off of their team and out of school.  The frustrating thing is that the court cases of minors are often sealed, as was the case here.  The public, and the school administration, are not privy to the information in those sealed documents.  How can the school or district be called on to take action based on allegations when they do not have the jurisdiction to conduct the investigation or to be given a judge's final verdict? It's a difficult position schools are in when they are called upon to protect the privacy of students, are not given access to criminal cases for students in their charge, and are charged with protecting and supporting victims of those crimes.  As is often the case with these emotionally charged issues the op-ed chose details that were purposefully incendiary and pointedly left out other details--and it worked.  Our coaches and administrators are getting hateful mail and angry responses.  Our principal had to call our meeting in order to share with us what he is allowed to share legally, and that he and the district administrators are working with police in this current case, and that they are supporting the coaches who followed the protocols in place for the aspects of the case over which they had jurisdiction and knowledge.  I have seen numerous posts on social media, many of them reposted by former students and community members.  And while I understand the frustration about these allegations, I really don't think most people understand a lot of the parameters with which our administrators have to work--and that they don't always have all the information that people think they have in hindsight.  Are there mistakes?  Are there people who sometimes drop the ball in these cases? Sure.  But do I believe that at least in this case, there was an appropriate protocol followed with the knowledge the school and the coaches had.

Unexpected Visit to the Dentist

January 24, 2018

If you've ever had a bad experience at the dentist--I mean a horror movie torture device kind of bad experience, not your run-of-the-mill dentist experience--then you probably have an aversion to the dentist's office.  If you've had more than one excruciating, heart-pounding, sweat-inducing, nightmarish dental procedures, then you're like me, and a dental emergency can send you into a frightening emotional tailspin.  (Okay, no lie--my heart rate has gone up just typing these words!)

So I'm having a late night snack last night. (Don't judge--yes, I know that's not especially in keeping with my goal of losing weight, but just wait. Karma got me for it, so I guess that will teach me!)  I take a bite of a potato chip and CRACK! As I bit down I heard and felt my crown on one of my front teeth crack and break off.  Like it broke off a third of the crown.  It wasn't one of my very front top two, but it was one right next to those, so, you know, it's pretty prominent.  Luckily I didn't feel any pain, but I didn't want to stand up in front of my classes and teach all day with a third of one of my very visible teeth missing.  Knowing I'd have to go to the dentist to get it fixed pretty immediately sent me into the aforementioned tailspin, and I slept terribly all night.

As soon as I got to work this morning, I called my dentist VOLUNTARILY and asked to come in, and they said they could squeeze me in for an evaluation right after I got out of school.  (I was self-conscious about my tooth all day in class.)  The evaluation part was important, because I usually need to steel myself for a few days before an actual dental procedure, so I felt okay about going in. Once I got there and they examined the tooth and took x-rays, they said they'd need to take off the remainder of the crown, reset it, and order a new one.  They said they had the ability to do it right then, since I was there and they had had a cancellation.  No prep time, no steeling myself.  Spinning, spinning, heart rate running out of control...but it had to be done.  There was no escaping. I gave her the okay, but she asked me several times if I was sure I was okay.  These folks there know me.  I'm sure they've got warning signs all over my chart, so they're extra watchful of my body language.  It belies everything.  I try to pretend to be calm and collected, but they all know better.  I was going to need numbing shots with no preparedness ahead of time (I'm seriously needle-phobic, y'all), but they treated me with kid gloves and were generous with the numbing gel before the shots, so that I wouldn't go haywire.  One I got through that, then came the incredibly loud, super high pitched and obnoxious sound of the drill grinding out my tooth and setting my nerves on edge, making me tense every muscle in my body.  It's really one of the very worst sounds in the world.  I imagine these drills are in pretty plentiful supply in the torture chambers of hell, if only for the sound alone!  (I really should allow time for a massage any time I have to go to the dentist, by the way.  I always am in need of something to unknot my knots after the dentist.)  I dug my nails into the skin on the palms of my hands every time the grinding started up again, trying to concentrate on maintaining a regular and slow breathing pattern until it stopped.

Do I sound like a baby?  Like a whiner?  I don't care.  That's what my experience is whenever I go to the dentist.  They finally finished drilling and got the imprints for my new crown.  The rest of the process was easy, and the heart and breathing returned somewhat to normal.  They set me up an appointment for two weeks from now (I have to come back!) to replace the temporary with the new and permanent crown.  God willing, there will be no drills involved, so that's good.  So that's how I spent my afternoon today--at one of my least favorite places in the world.  And believe it or not, today was one of the easier days I've had at that office.  I'm sure they just love me there and can't wait until my return in two weeks.

Probably Not My Calling

January 23, 2018

Imagine a world where folks looked to me for tech support.  Now stop laughing--it's not THAT ridiculous! (A little ridiculous, yes--I'll give you that.) 

I went over to my grandma's apartment to help her fill out some paperwork for her new health care.  She had decided she was fed up with Kaiser and wanted to switch to a new health network, but that comes with a lot of paperwork that is a bit confusing, so she asked me to sit with her while she filled it out.  (Paperwork I can do.  My life is filled with paper--I'm a teacher for goodness sake.  Paper is my superpower!)

While I was over there, she asked me to help figure out how to get her computer reconnected to her internet.  Somehow the wires on the modem became compromised.  I tried to be Joe Tech and run some troubleshooting, and look at the wires to see if could manage an easy fix.  I would have felt like I saved the day.  Mostly, though, I just clicked on a few buttons and wiggled a few wires and looked relatively inept.  I actually think I figured out what the problem was--maybe--but I needed an additional cable.  I'm heading back over there on Thursday, and I'm really crossing my fingers that this is the fix I'm looking for.  Technological savvy is not my strong suit, but I'm somehow hoping to save the day anyway and look like a genius (at least to my grandma!)

New Recipe

January 22, 2018

I tried out a new recipe this weekend that I really loved.  Actually, I usually cook by looking at several recipes and then creating an amalgamation of them, which is what I did here.  It's simple, really, and delicious.  I'm not going to post a picture, though, because the picture simply doesn't do it justice (and truth be told, might turn someone away from trying it).  It's not especially pretty, but it's good nonetheless.  All you do is take a wheel of Brie cheese, spread fig jam over the top, and then top that with some cooked bacon and toasted pine nuts.  Bake it until melty, and then serve with crostini bread.  Super easy, super tasty appetizer!

A Prime Example of Appropriation of Voice

January 21, 2018

The second Women's March happened this weekend--a commemoration of the first ground-breaking march a year ago.  Women were protesting to remind those in office that we vote and our voices matter.  Leave it to Trump to try to appropriate that march and try to pretend they were celebrating all the amazing advances he tries to tell us all he's made for women in his first year in office.  We're not buying it, Mr. Trump, and you don't get to steal our voices and tell us what we're marching for.

A Well-Deserved Weekend With Friends

January 20, 2018

After my long rally week at school, I planned to take the weekend off and just enjoy some social time.  Doug and I went up to the foothills on Friday night to scope out the place Doug's band is playing in next week.  We met up with our friends Brad and Jean and had a wonderful dinner there.  Afterward, we found a little bar up the road where they had Friday night karaoke, and we stayed until closing time, singing, talking, laughing, and having a wonderful time.

The next evening we met up with our friends Scott and Mo for a little dinner at their house.  After dinner, we played a round of Would You Rather?, which provided at least a couple of full-on belly laughs.  Then we called in their kids for a game of Left-Right-Center, which was a new one for Doug and me.  Oh my goodness, it was fun!  Plus, any game that doesn't require skill (it's a dice game), works for me, as being skilled at games of any sort is not what one would call a strength of mine.

Finally, we found out Jim was in town for the evening, and we decided after we left Mo and Scott's to meet up with him at Skyline.  Jim and I had a great conversation while watching Doug play pool, and at the end of the evening Jim asked Doug if he would be his best man at his upcoming wedding.  I could tell how much it meant to him--it was so sweet!  I am so excited for Jim and Christy, and Doug and I are excited to help out in any way we can.  I can't wait until November!

On Sunday we luxuriously slept in.  Eventually we got up, and I spent the afternoon with Grandma taking care of paperwork and trying to troubleshoot her computer issue.  (Believe me, when you need a computer fixed, I'm generally not the first person on the list.  My skills are rudimentary at best.)  However, I think I was actually able to pinpoint her issue, although I couldn't solve it today.  Looks like I'll need to head back over later in the week to try to wrap it up.

Not a terribly productive weekend, but well-deserved and needed.  Making time to spend with friends is always a good investment.

I Am So Tired!

January 19, 2018

Rally week is always a little chaotic when you're a class advisor.  A lot of after school hours go into all the sign painting and setting up.  Combine that with a Monday holiday--which meant one less day to work on the rally sign--and an advisor partner who was recovering from knee surgery, and that translated into three consecutive days of not getting home until about 8.  Then Friday morning, at 7 a.m., we were at the gym for set up.  I am not a morning person, y'all!  That's an early start to my day!  My junior class officers are great, though, and as usual they pulled through.  Our rally theme was an Olympics theme, so their letters were all an homage to a winter-time sport.  They had some really creative ideas!  Even though we lost the rally, I was really proud of my kids.  Now that it's behind us though, we'll have only a moment to pause, catch our collective breath, and get into prom planning mode.

1984

January 18, 2018

I'm getting ready to read 1984 with my students.  I love 1984, and as a matter of fact I love dystopian fiction in general.  It's my very favorite genre.  However, in today's world, where these dystopian novels seemed to have moved out of the realm of the theoretical and into the realm of "Oh my gosh, this is literally happening!", I'm a little worried about how my students are going to react.  Of course, this is exactly why we read these kinds of books, but it doesn't mean it's not going to be uncomfortable.  It will certainly cause discussion and debate.  And although I hope kids will be able to see the truly cautionary nature of the book, what I hope even more is that as we share differing perspectives and values that will undoubtedly be borne out of reading this book together, my students will learn how to share those differing values civilly and maturely, unlike quite a lot of the 'discourse' I see online right now.  It's a valuable skill I think a great many people should attempt to strengthen.

I Love it When I Get a Happy Email

January 17, 2018

Although I finished my Master's degree in December, I have been waiting anxiously for it to officially post.  This week I finally got the notification!

Feeling a Little Defeated

January 16, 2018

It's so hard not to take it personally when someone lies to you, especially when it's repeatedly.  When it's someone you love, it's so hard to find that balance between being supporting and loving and holding someone accountable for things they say that are not true, for whatever reasons they feel entitled to or empowered to lie.  I am really struggling with this today, and I am heartbroken because of it.

And On Today's Day Off, I Got Approximately 1% of The Things Done I Wanted To

January 15, 2018

Why is it every time I have a day off, I think time will stand still for that whole day so that I can get 3 million things done?  That includes:  going grocery shopping, dropping of donations at Goodwill, getting to the post office, catching up on laundry, finishing lesson plans for the whole semester, grading the new stuff that just came in, reading 3 books, re-doing the front bathroom, trying out a new recipe or two, calling a plumber, putting stuff into storage, finding some semblance of order in the garage, writing letters to friends, taking stuff to the dry cleaners...you get the picture.  Oh.  And catch up on sleep.  Totally reasonable, right?

Out of My Mind

January 14, 2018

A couple of years ago at the CATE conference I attended, I had the pleasure of hearing author Sharon Draper speak and read from her book, Out of My Mind.  She was incredibly engaging, and not surprisingly, a wonderful storyteller.  I actually got to meet her and she autographed a copy of her novel for me.

 It's a Young Adult novel, which I try to read quite a bit of in order to make good recommendations to my students.  This novel is about a fifth grade girl with an incredible mind who suffers from cerebral palsy.  Her condition, in addition to severely affecting her mobility, disrupts her ability to speak.  Doctors and teachers alike treat her as if she is incapable of much mental processing at all, although her mother, her beloved neighbor, and a couple of her teachers see a spark that shows she is able to process a good deal more than she can communicate.  When she finally gets a computer that allows her to "speak", she and those around her learn about her photographic memory and her incredible intelligence.

The writing style is engaging and keeps the reader invested.  Even though I was sure a couple of times I knew where the plot was going, there were a couple of plot turns that I didn't see coming, and I appreciated that.  Draper doesn't turn this book into a "And everyone who had ever treated her badly repented and became wonderful human beings" or even a "Melody was perfect and amazing and when she got her computer, she was even more perfect and amazing" kind of book.  Melody, the protagonist, has a disability but she isn't idealized.  She's allowed to be a typical 5th grader, with some ugly stubborness and moodiness, as well as empathy and reflectiveness.  She's also surrounded by people who are flawed and human--who sometimes make big mistakes.  They are 'real' humans dealing with the kind of real-life emotions that the rest of us go through.  It's not always an easy road, but we appreciate that we are on it with folks who respond like people we might know.

Yum

January 13, 2018

Yes, I'm walking 10,000 steps every day, and yes I'm exercising every day.  I'm trying to drink a little less Diet Pepsi (not eliminating it altogether--let's not get crazy!), and trying to drink a little more water.  But dear friends, I'm not going to live my life wistfully staring at all the foods I "can't" have.  It's only going to make me sad.  Or it's going to just be plain ineffective, so I'll be mad at myself.  No, I'm not going into a battle with food like that.  So every once in awhile, when the mood strikes for something more decadent and cheesy, I'm going to make it, I'm going to enjoy eating it, and I'm going to move on with my life.

Reading Plan

January 12, 2018

One of my resolutions for this year is to do a little more reading for pleasure, now that I have finished my Master's degree.  I love to read, but it's had to take a bit of a back seat in the past two and a half years as I was working on all the reading I had to do for the program.  Weirdly, the first book I finished for the year was a business book we were given to read at work on dysfunctional work teams and how to create healthier environments.  Not the kind of book I would pick up on my own, but it wasn't bad, actually.  I tend to rotate among classics, young adult fiction (so that I can make recommendations to my students) contemporary fiction, and non-fiction.  Usually I read more than one book at a time, since my reading choice is dictated by my mood.  I'm not the fastest reader, so I'm not one who can pick up a book and polish it off in an afternoon, so my moods fluctuate as I'm progressing through a novel over the course of a couple of weeks.  Today my books of choice are Written on the Body by Winterson (a classic recommended by a friend), Out of My Mind by Draper (a YA novel by an author I actually had the privilege of hearing read from this book and meeting at a signing), and The Funny Thing Is by Ellen Degeneres (a woman I have great respect for because of her positive energy and outlook). 

Finding Balance

January 11, 2018

It's incredibly difficult to maintain a balance between keeping myself informed about what's going on in the news and keeping myself from feeling despair when I read about yet another hateful or demeaning statement coming from the White House--daily.  I mean, there have always been crass, belligerent, and blustery people in our country.  I miss the days when the person sitting in the White House wasn't one of them.

One of My Best Days of Teaching

January 10, 2018

It's the start of the new semester as well as the new calendar year.  Two of my classes had a student teacher last semester, and even in the classes where there wasn't a student teacher, I sensed a bit of restlessness and stress as we returned for the home stretch of senior year.  I decided we needed to do a reset/refocus, something akin to the kind of reflection many of us do as a new year dawns.  I showed them a couple of short video clips from Pursuit of Happiness and Freedom Writers that focus on chasing your dreams and building community.  We talked about big picture ideas that reflected what we hope to see in the world and how we'd like to see ourselves in it.  I handed out 3 x 5 cards and asked them to anonymously answer the question: What Do I Hope?  I gathered them and read them aloud, and told my kids I'd post them on the wall to help us remember who we are at our core--as a community--as we are progressing through the rest of our year together.

If you've ever wondered if our kids today are shallow or callous or self-centered, perhaps here you have your answer.  I was incredibly impressed with the genuine, sincere, and heart-felt responses:
I hope to be kinder to others.
I hope to be the kind of person others can turn to for help.
I hope I can find my passion and purpose in life.
I hope I can make my parents proud.

I was also a bit broken-hearted by some of the responses:
I hope to finally find true friends.
I hope people notice my silence.
I hope to be able to find a reason to get up each day.
I hope to finally be able to love myself.

Our kids can be goofy and immature and caught up the tiny details of every day life.  But they have big dreams and hopes and aspirations--and many of them are carrying really heavy weights hidden in their hearts.  It eye-opening to me, and to my students as well.  One of my kids shook his head and said, "It's really sad how many people in here are dealing with such heavy feelings.  And we don't even know."

Yeah.  Yes, it is.  So maybe the best way to operate is to treat each other as if we all are.

One of my best days of teaching.

A Visit From Natalie and Ryann

January 9, 2018

One of my favorite things about the week before and after vacation is that many of my former students are home from college and come by to visit.  I am always in awe of the cool and amazing things my kids find themselves doing once they move into the world of adulthood.  It's such a privilege to live in a time when I can keep in touch via the magic of social media with students I've formed relationships with.  I love to follow their successes and adventures in life and see all the positive energy they're putting out into the world.  Today I got a visit from a couple of incredible young women I have a great deal of love, respect, and admiration for--these gals are truly going to make their mark on the world!

Saying Goodbye for Awhile

January 8, 2018

I had my girl home for 3 weeks, and tonight she left again for Riverside to start up her second semester of college.  I have absolutely loved having her home, and I know she enjoyed being home, but she was so excited to get back to college, back to her new classes and her new-found CBU friends.  Even though I'll miss her terribly, it really does my heart good to see her so enthusiastic about her home-away-from-home.  It just underscores once again that we made the right decision in sending her to this school.  It's always bittersweet to see your kid leave for college, but this is the age where we only get to borrow them for a time here and there as they prepare to take flight on their own more permanently.  It's practice for both of us, really.  I miss her already.

Walking Late at Night

January 8, 2018

I am the owner of a Fitbit--I have been a fairly active walker for the past three years.  I know at my age and in my shape, walking 4-5 miles a day is a good, consistent part of a routine to keep myself in decent physical health.  That being said, I am a night owl, especially during vacation.  Left to my own devices, I'll sleep in until anywhere between 8 and 10, but stay up until 2 a.m. or so.  So I like to walk at night.  Typically I walk around 11 at night.  Being a woman living in these times, I try to be as careful as possible--I choose paths where street lights are in good repair, I scan parked cars to be sure there aren't people quietly waiting there for unsuspecting passersby, and I avoid large bushes or obstructions behind which someone might be lurking, and certainly do not walk on my own around the perimeter of the neighborhood park after hours.  I travel with my phone and and air horn or alarm to alert others in case of danger.  I don't love that I have to take all these precautions, but I know that if I choose to walk at night.  These are likely not precautions that most men even have to think about, but I know I don't have the luxury of being oblivious to potential dangers.  As I am walking, then, late at night, hyper-aware of shadows and the ever-present possibility of threat, let me assure you, random single man slowing your dark vehicle to a crawl behind me--your 'good intent' to shout helpful safety advice did not make me feel safer or appreciative.  Drive on!

The Last Hurrah Before We Go Back to School

January 6, 2018

This weekend my sister and my niece came up for a quick visit.  Lisa already had to head back to school last week, and most of the rest of us start up again on Monday, so it was nice to get a get-together in one more time before we hit the ground running with the new semester.  Today was a whirlwind--we had brunch with Nicholas, Danielle, and Taylor, then drove Danielle to the airport so she could spend a couple of days with her dad.  Then Lisa and I got together with Mo for a bit before heading to REI (for a couple of hours!) to pick up some much-needed gear for the trip we'll be taking in early spring.  Naturally, we ended up at Me N Ed's (a Clovis must-have) in the evening and were joined by our friends Bill and Renee.  Lisa then met up with an old friend in town while Doug, Taylor, and I hung out at home and watched a little Black Mirror.  When Lisa got home we went out walking to make sure we got our 10,000 steps on our Fitbits (especially in light of all the eating we did today!)  Lisa and Taylor will get up bright and early in the morning to head back to Fullerton, since Taylor has to work tomorrow.  I will be getting back into school mode ahead of Monday's professional development day, but today was all about family and friends!

Almost the End of Vacation

January 5, 2018

Well, it's that time of vacation when I have only a couple of days left and I am suddenly confronted with a sense of, "What the heck have I been doing all of vacation?" I had such a big to-do list, and as is always the case, I started out the long and lovely vacation thinking surely I would be productive and would accomplish a great many things with all two whole glorious weeks stretched out before me.  I mean, obviously I got to spend time with my wonderful kids and my husband, and got in a visit with Lisa and the girls and Laura and Sean--so of course that was time well spent.  But all the projects, the reading, the cleaning, the...well, everything...only bits and pieces of vacation was spent in service of whittling down my to do list.  So now, of course, I'm in the mad scramble of the weekend before I go back to work, trying vainly to pretend to myself that I got a lot done with all that time off.  I did make a to-do list, so I guess I can be proud that I accomplished THAT at least!

Old Photographs

January 4, 2018

Doug's dad added him to a Facebook group dedicated to the extended Smith family, and we spent a little time digging into old photos posted there.  We got a little lost in 'meeting' cousins, uncles and aunts, and countless other members of his family that he's never met before.  It was also a little time machine to a younger Fritz and Estelle--photos of his mom and dad from 50 years ago.  It's so fascinating to be able to visit the past in this way.  I've always been so intrigued by old photos, especially (but not limited to) photos of people I know.  It encourages me to get back into scanning old Mayes family photos to share with all of my siblings.  I know my own kids get frustrated that I have always taken so many pictures of them, but I know one day they'll be thrilled to sit with their own kids to share their past with them.  I desperately wish there were more pictures of me and my brothers and sisters in our childhood.  So many of them were destroyed by my dad when he and my mom divorced--his way of lashing out at her.  I want to make sure I preserve and share the ones that survived.

Reset/Refocus

January 3, 2018

I've spent a little time over these past couple of days reflecting on ways to reset my focus and priorities for the coming year (as many of us do to mark the new year), and I'll talk about some of those priorities here now and again.  One of the areas I really want to focus on this year is not taking on blame for other people's choices.  I am all about taking responsibility for my own choices, but sometimes as a mom, as a wife, as a teacher...well, as just about any of the roles I play, I can have a tendency to feel responsibility for other people's choices as well.  You know--if only I had.../if only I tried.../if only I said...then maybe they wouldn't have made those choices.  I end up beating myself up for other people's decisions.  At the end of the day, I suppose it's a weird sense of ego-centrism to think that one person has so much pull that they can be in charge of everyone else's decisions, right?  Mind you, I absolutely believe one person can make a difference in the lives of others, and I will continue to live my life in that vein, but I will work hard to stop blaming myself for things that are outside my control.

What To Do?

January 2, 2018

I think I've already encountered a problem with my New Year's Resolutions.  Some of them appear to be diametrically opposed.  It's almost like I'm a master of self-sabotage.  For example, one of my resolutions is to clean out an organize my cupboards (really, the whole house--the cupboards are just a start). In order to do that, obviously I need to cook the food that's in the cupboards to help clean them out.  Problem? There's stuff to make cookies up in there.  One of my other resolutions is eat better and get in better shape.  See?  Self-sabotage!  I'm diabolical like that. (Guess which resolution won out?  Ha!  They both did!  I don't have to EAT the cookies--that's what my children and husband are for!)

Happy New Year!

January 1, 2018

 Doug, Danielle, and I all ended 2017 battling nasty colds, so we celebrated by watching Ryan Seacrest counting down to the ball drop while we sat on the couch in our jammies.  Just because we didn't exactly end the year with a bang doesn't mean the year itself didn't hold quite a bit of accomplishment in our little household.

For me, I finished a goal set in motion 20 years ago.  I earned my Master's degree!  I got the ball rolling long ago, but life got in the way and I didn't finish, so having restarted a new Master's program (this time in reading, not literature) a couple of years ago was a little intimidating.  Even when life got in the way in a pretty significant way this time around too, I wasn't about to let the finish line get moved again.  Am I proud of myself?  You bet I am!

Doug spent the year on a job site where he is incredibly well-liked and respected, so it's pretty great that this project has some longevity ahead.  His band is getting better all the time, and they have been gigging a lot more regularly this past year, with more dates on the horizon in 2018.

Brianna said goodbye to a job that's been a wonderful learning experience for her at the Academy of Country Music.  They were thrilled for her when she was offered a new job at a beautiful boutique PR firm doing exactly what she went to school to do.  As a PR associate at the company, she has found encouraging mentors who will help her continue to grow professionally.

Nicholas continues to seek out his passions.  He found a job he enjoys at iTea, and has remained really involved in the Cafe that he's been working with for the past year.  With them, he has taken a few out of town trips and worked at a handful of conventions with people he really likes.  In addition, he's experimenting quite a bit with cooking, and thinks he might like to pursue it further as a potential career.

Danielle graduated high school in 2017 with an impressive array of accolades.  She finished her first semester of California Baptist with straight As and three on-campus jobs (two of which employ her skills as a photographer).  She absolutely loves her school, and we have no doubt that 2018 will bring even more success for her there.

2017 wasn't a great year in a lot of ways--socially, politically.  But for us, in our little household, there was a lot to celebrate.  Here's looking toward a 2018 that brings even more positivity and success on our collective journey.