Wedding Bells For Anthony and Tiffany

July 27, 2013

My sweet nephew Anthony married his sweetheart today--his high school girlfriend--just a couple of months after they both celebrated their graduations.  This is a very big year for them, and I wish them both well as they step into the next stage of their lives.  They'll be getting jobs, setting up a new home together, and starting college.  I hope they are each others' best friends and biggest cheerleaders in the years ahead!  I so wish I had been able to make the trip to Idaho to celebrate with them.

Jameson Anthony McCloud

June 6, 2012

I'm a proud Great Aunt again!  My lovely niece Tiffany and her husband are now proud parents of Jameson Anthony McCloud, born on June 3rd.  These are the times I wish they lived closer.  I'm hoping one day soon I'll get to travel and meet the whole family.

Bouncing Baby Boy

August 4, 2010
This summer has been such a bountiful one for the extended Mayes family! First, my niece Tiffany made me a Great Aunt for the first time when she introduced Miss Graci Raelynn into the world. Then, my sister-of-the--heart Cheryl brought home the beautiful Miss Marlo Rae to join our extended family. And yesterday, my brother and sis-in-law made me an auntie once again when little Nathan Andrew made his debut at 7:25 p.m.

Nathan will have quite the story to tell about his birth when he's older. He was quite comfortable right where he was, and was in no hurry to be born. More than a week after he was due, the doctor decided he needed a little nudge. I'm sure Julie, who was probably starting to worry that she was going to be permanently pregnant, was ready to be induced. They went into the hospital yesterday morning, and the light at the end of the tunnel was finally in sight.

Towards the evening, I got a text from Julie. Naturally, I was expecting to hear that Nathan had been born. Nope. She sent me a text letting me know that while the doctor was administering the epidural, Scott suddenly passed out. Not one to do things halfway, he didn't just pass out, though--he hit his head on a cabinet on the way down and managed to give himself a severe concussion and cut open his head. A CAT scan and six staples in the head later, the doctors decided it would be best to send Scott home for the night with some friends so that he could recover. I talked to Scott just a bit later, and he said he had knocked himself out so completely that it took him about half an hour to be able to tell the doctor where he was and why he was in the hospital to begin with. A little scary, and I'm sure a bit disappointing to Scott that he wasn't there when Nathan finally made his appearance, but ultimately it was probably for the best that he went home to recuperate.

Today they posted pictures on Facebook so that we could all 'meet' our newest member of the family. Scott brought older brothers Matthew and Micah to the hospital--the whole family together. I'm still struggling with the fact that they are so far away and I don't get to hold Baby Nathan right away, and I don't honestly know when I'll get to. In the meantime, I'll have to content myself with lots of pictures until I get to visit.
Congratulations, Scott, Julie, Matthew, and Micah--you'll have to give Baby Nathan extra hugs and kisses for me until I can get there!

Welcome to the Family

June 29, 2010

On the 26th of June, my niece Tiffany brought her beautiful baby girl into the world. Graci Raelynn McCloud weighed in at 6 lbs., 5 oz., and was 21 inches long. It's hard to believe that I am now a great-aunt! Welcome baby Graci; you will be one loved little girl!

A Letter To My Niece

April 8, 2010

Yesterday I found out (via Facebook status update, no less!) that my oldest niece had gotten married. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked to find out this way, but it's not as bad as it seems. She and her finance Brandon have been planning a wedding for the upcoming Fall, and they are still planning to have that big formal celebration with family and friends at their sides. Legally, though, they tied the knot yesterday. I now have a new nephew and a married niece. Seriously--when did I become old enough to have a married niece??




In light of her new role as wife, I'd like to offer her some advice about what I've learned about marriage in the past several years--some of which I learned the hard way.

Dear Tiff,

As you move side by side through this life with Brandon, there are a few things that will help you enjoy the best of times and survive the worst of times:

--Remember that marriage is hard work. Like parenting, it's GOOD work, but make no mistake that it IS work. If you stop working at being a partner, you stop being a partner.

--Laugh with each other every single day. It will keep you young indefintely, and help you to always remember the smile that you love in each other today.

--You know that old saying that tells you never to go to bed angry? It's a great goal, but it might not happen. It's okay if you go to bed angry every once in awhile. Just don't throw things. Sometimes you need the space before you can have a calm conversation.

--If you fight, try lowering your voice rather than raising it. It encourages the other person to listen harder to what you have to say.

--When you disagree, make it more important to respect each other's perspective than it is to be RIGHT.

--Know that you are two different people, and you won't always agree on every issue. Sometimes, unless it's a deal-breaker issue, it's okay to agree to disagree.

--The best way to be a strong and loving partner to your husband is to be strong and true to yourself. You cannot be a contributing partner if you lose yourself, so make sure you each nurture your own interests and pursuits.

--Be each other's biggest cheerleaders. Always.

--Mind-reading is not part of marriage. When you have concerns, speak your mind, calmly and respectfully. It's not fair to assume that your partner knows when you are happy, angry, unsatisfied, joyful, content, or hurt. Let him know so that he can share in your joy, or support you in your pain. Even if--especially if--he is the cause of your pain at that moment.

--Don't belittle each other, even in jest, and especially not in front of other people. It gives others permission to think less of you than you deserve.

--Be an amazing addition in the lives of your step-children, but remember to respect the relationship they have with their own mother. Note that I did not say you have to respect her or her choices; sometimes this is not possible. However, respecting that the children have and desire a bond with their mother is a gift that you give to them. Doing your part to have a cordial relationship with all the people who touch their lives shows them by example how to be mature, respectful people. Someone else's poor behavior shouldn't be an excuse for you to stoop to their level--think of it as an opportunity to model taking the high road for your kids. Sometimes it will mean biting your tongue when it would be satisfying to say something hurtful. That's okay. Go ahead and bite your tongue. Kids are smart; they'll know when they're older who was there for them without you having to say it now.

--Strive to create the relationship you want your own children to seek out when they're older. Children learn what they see, what they live. When your daughter is old enough to start looking for her own partner in life, you should know that she has seen the very best kind of relationship, and that she need not settle for less than that.

--Give your children everything that they need, and a little of what they want. Let them learn the value of working for things.

--Take traditions from your own families and make them your own. Create new traditions together as well. Traditions speak to what you value, and bond a family in ways you might not even know.

--Let family, immediate family and extended family, be a priority in your life. Family is forever.

--Hold hands. Kiss often. Hug freely. Cuddle. Say "I love you," and mean it. Share the affection you have for one another and your children, so that they don't have to guess how you feel. Be the couple who, in old age, others see and say, "Aw...look how they still care about each other after all these years!"

Tiffany and Brandon, I wish you all the best. Congratulations on the path you have chosen to travel together. I wish you a long, happy, and beautiful journey!

Love,
Aunt Donna