Family of the Heart

May 19, 2009











I love my family. I'm really a family-is-for-life kind of a gal. We are tied together through mutual relations, shared childhoods, collective memories, mutual experiences. But just as important in our lives are the 'family members' we adopt--those with whom we share no DNA, but with whom we chose to invite in to share our lives and our souls. These are the brothers and sisters of our hearts, the extra parents of our choosing, and the added nieces and nephews and cousins of our world.

Last week we got to spend some time with some of these wonderful 'extra' family members. Mom and Dad Krepp have been in our lives since Doug and I were both in high school. David, their son, was (and is) like a brother to us, and his parents have always treated us like family. David's wife, Carrie, is one of the most lovely human beings I have ever met, and since the moment I met her I knew she was a sister of my heart. As a matter of fact, as many of you may know, Carrie was the one who married Doug and me two years ago, in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I have ever seen.

David and Carrie were expecting their precious little Freya when Carrie married us. So really, Freya has been a very special part of our lives as our chosen niece since even before she was born. When Freya celebrated her two year birthday last weekend, we were honored to be a part of the celebration, along with the rest of the extended Krepp family and one of our other brothers of the heart, Jim. It's hard to describe how at home we feel with all of these people, especially since my blood family, those who are left, are too far scattered to be able to enjoy frequent family gatherings. I absolutely love that we have been taken in and fully embraced by our extra chosen family, and am thrilled to know that we will be a part of Freya's life (as well as her cousin Morgan's) as they are growing up in this world.

Spring Time Pictures

We got our picture back from Mornings with Moms, and I really like how it turned out! We also got spring pictures from the elementary school, as well as Danielle's softball pictures. I kind of think she's rockin' a Peter Pan look with her pose: ) (I feel a little bit bad that there are no pictures of Bree here. Only the elementary kids get to do Mornings with Moms, and they don't do Spring Pictures at the high school.)

Signs of the Times

We all make mistakes now and then; nobody's perfect. But when a business puts its mistakes in bold print on a window or on a flyer, doesn't it make you think twice about the quality of the product or service that business provides? I mean, everyone has different skill sets, but I think if I were a business owner, and I knew that I struggled with grammar or spelling, I might make an effort to let a few other people get involved in the advertising process. I would also think, by the way, that the printers or window designers might have caught these errors.

The first one is the window of a local dry cleaning place, and the second is the back of an advertisement for a nail salon.

Showin' Some Love

Thanks so much to all of you who stopped by and offered words of wisdom or encouragement after my last post. Those days are, luckily, few and far between, but they tend to loom large over the rest of life when they do happen. I am happy to report that the next day (and the next, and by all accounts, this one as well) went much better. I'd even go so far as to say they were downright pleasant! Monday was Monday, but I'm back to enjoying my job (and my students) again. Kids have much shorter memories than we do, it seems.

On another note, I was thrilled to find that some of my new-found friends have awarded me some love in the blog world. (I'm still pretty new here, and these are my firsts. Very exciting, especially since I really love reading the blogs of these particular people!)

The first one is the One Lovely Blog Award. My friends Mrs. C from Next to Heaven and Adrienne over at The Story Board sent this one my way.

The Rules: 1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

(Oh gosh--I'm not sure I can tag 15! I think I'll combine these two, and take a happy medium. If you're on my reading list and I don't happen to tag you this time around, feel free to tag yourself! All the blogs on my list (see sidebar) are fabulous. That's why they're on my list!)

I was also pretty excited to see the 7 Degrees of AWE-SUMMMM Blog Award sent to me by the equally awesome Mrs. C over at Next to Heaven and KeKeLynn at A Look Behind My Eyes. When you get a chance, head on over to all of these blogs for some fun, funny, and insightful reading.

The rules for this one? List seven things that make me awe-summm and then pass the award on to seven other people who I think are fabulously awe-summm.

1. I am married to my high school sweetheart, who fills me with joy and makes me laugh every single day. Actually, we dated in high school, went our separate ways, and then met up again, many years later. In the interim, I had married, had three children, and gotten divorced after sixteen years. Life is funny.

2. I am an incredibly loyal friend. If you need me to back you up, I'm there. My friends are my friends for life.

3. I've been teaching at my current school for 19 years--since we opened our doors. (Of course, I started when I was seven years old.)

4. I might not win the Amazing Mom of the Year award, but I am raising three incredible, creative, bright, big-hearted, beautiful children who I adore with every ounce of my being.

5. I'm a picture-takin' fool. I'm a big believer in living in the moment, but I'm also a big believer in recording those moments. I want my kids to be able to share those visual memories with their own kids someday.

6. I really, truly try to look for the best in people. Sometimes you have to do a little more digging, but it's there in everyone. I want to be thought of as the one who brings out the positive in others.

7. I made a committment to myself to write more this year, and begin putting down on paper (so to speak) the stories of our life. This venue, and the people who have taken the time to stop by and share in those stories, have been a big encouragement to me in that regard, and I'm glad to say I have, in fact, kept this promise to myself and will continue to do so.

Tag, you're it:

These blogs are fabulously awesome for humor, wit, family-ness, and wisdom. Sometimes all at the same time! Please stop by and say hello. Tell 'em Donna sent you.

Sassy Cass at Sassy and the Boys

ReRe at Re-Ramblings

Kate at sauciewee

Coco at Coco's Cuckoo World

Brandi at Living & Loving in Tampa

Steph at The Adventures of Jon and Steph

Yaya at Yaya Stuff

Mrs4444 at Half-Past Kissin' Time

Mama-face at Blog-Ignoramus

Reinvent Dad at Reinventing Dad

That's it for now. Happy Thursday!

I Love My Job? Yeah, Most of the Time

May 11, 2009

I don't know why I still take it so personally when a student says something mean to me in the guise of humor. I mean, they're teenagers. There are an awful lot of them who confuse 'mean' with 'funny.' (Come to think of it, there are an awful lot of adults who confuse 'mean' with 'funny.') But still. I work hard everyday, trying to do my job. I'm pretty sure they don't have any idea how much time after school and at home that I spend in grading and planning. So when I hear a flippant comment about what I do in class, it can get to me. It kind of makes it hard to be enthusiastic, and I hate it when I'm not enthusiastic about my kids and my job. Clearly, it's Monday, and I'm ready to go home. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

It was a Happy Momma's Day for Me

It was a Happy Momma's Day for Me
May 11, 2009

The kids are usually at their dad's on Sundays, but since it was Mother's Day, they got to spend the afternoon with me. (This is a great improvement over the first Mother's Day after our split, when he was surprised that I asked to have them on that afternoon. "But it's Mother's Day!" he said. "We're planning to have dinner for my mom, so I thought the kids would want to be here." Ummm....yeah. "But it's Mother's Day, so I thought they would spend their day WITH THEIR MOTHER." "Oh," he said. I didn't even think about that." Right. And that's why you live in one house and I live in another now.) But I digress....

He's a good guy, my ex, and when I remind him of things like that, he's pretty flexible. So the kids came over, and they came bearing gifts. Mostly, they were of the hand-made variety, which I love. God bless the elementary teachers who love to craft things with their kids to send home for the various ocassions during the school year. I keep ALL of that stuff. They also brought me a beautiful ring that has a stone to represent each one of them. My hubby took us all out to lunch at our favorite restaurant (DiCicco's), and then we strolled around downtown Clovis for awhile, window shopping and leisurely chatting. It was a beautiful day for it, too--not too hot, not too windy. Sometimes I just wish I could freeze those pieces of time and hold onto them. I am amazed sometimes at what a lucky mama I really am.

Muffins with Moms

May 8, 2009

Happy Friday! This morning, the kids' elementary school celebrated 'Mornings with Moms' in honor of the upcoming Mother's Day. It used to be called 'Muffins with Moms,' up until last year, but a guess a few of the moms decided they couldn't participate because the muffins they served weren't healthy or diet-friendly or whatever, so now they offer a bigger variety, so those who are trying to maintain their size 2 shapes can still find something to eat.

You might have guessed, I am not one of the size 2 moms. (Honestly, I wasn't a size 2 before I was a mom, let alone after three kids.) Bring on the muffins! They also have grapes, bagels, apples, yogurt, bananas--you know....good stuff. Healthy stuff. But I'll stick with the muffins, thank you. I don't eat breakfast usually, so when there's an ocassion to have it, I might as well live it up. I only feel a tiny twinge of guilt when I see all those others mothers picking at their three grapes, but then I get over it.

Mornings with Moms (aka Muffins with Moms) is not about the breakfast anyway. Even if they served pancakes with syrup and soft-boiled eggs (two of my absolute least favorite foods in the world), I'd still show up. And I wouldn't complain to the great folks at the PTC (Parent-Teacher Club) who provided us with the breakfast, either. I'd just show up with my kids, enjoy the extra Friday morning time with them, have a leisurely chat with them (which, I assure you, does not happen on a regular basis when we are trying to rush out the door on time in the mornings), and enjoy the pleasant start to my day. That's what it's all about; hanging out with my kids. I got all my sustenence from the extra hugs and kisses I got this morning, not from the muffin. Though I must admit, the muffin was good.

The Road to Independence...and More

May 7, 2009

I'm a little slow in getting to this latest blog, because there's just so much going on. We did survive the kitchen flood with not too much damage, but it was quite inconvenient. As we head into the home stretch of school, we are both winding down and winding up. There are so many end of the year activities for me and each of the kids that May is the storm before the calm. Yeah, we do things a little backwards around here.

First of all, my AP students have their test today. Hallelujiah! All of the prep work for the whole year leads up to this morning, bright and early at 7:30. (Of course most of them have other AP tests next week, too, but they'll essentially be done with my class as soon as they turn in their tests later this morning.) I greeted them at their testing site this morning with a sugar-high snack for their break between the multiple choice part and the essay section--a box of Nerds and a giant Smarties candy roll for each of them. Get it? They're my AP kids, my own little loveable 'smarties' and 'nerds.'

Also, those of you who read my previous post know that I attended our school's prom on Saturday, and all of my darlins made it back safe and sound to class on Monday. I'm not kidding when I say it always makes me a little nervous to read the Sunday paper the day after the prom. I'm always worried there will be some big accident after prom that makes Sunday headlines. Thank goodness, no tragedies to report. The prom was beautiful, and not only did I get to see many of my students, but I got to hang out and chat with one of my good friends all evening, because our duty station was together (and not anywhere near the dance floor, to my relief!)

The kids also have lots going on in their worlds as they gear up for state testing and all of their end-of-the-year activities. I got to go see Danielle accept her award for Principal's Honor roll for the third straight quarter (she's gotten all As this whole year!). I am so proud of her, and I have just seen her self-confidence sky-rocket this year. She is also just loving softball, and has now gotten the taste of crossing home plate more than a few times. The whole team has really improved, and I can see them becoming more comfortable in working together to accomplish their goal. Danielle is our athlete AND scholar.














Nicholas has been a reading MACHINE, which is fabulous, because there was a time when he wouldn't pick up a book. (Much to the chagrin of his English teacher mom). If I'd let him, he'd stay up all hours of the night delving into his books (Star Wars novelizations are some of the biggest hits right now, but he'll read other stuff, too.) Come to think of it, I seem to remember my mom having to come in several times a night to turn my light off AGAIN or take away my flashlight because I was reading past bedtime. Anyway, what we are working on now with Nicholas is balance. He's getting so into whatever book he's reading that classwork is becoming a nuisance. Go figure. His grades this quarter weren't what he (or we) wanted, because he was spending so much time in his books that he wasn't finishing all of his classwork. I think he figured out that the cost of those grades (no video games--gasp!) wasn't worth the additional time reading in class, so it looks like we're back on track. Balance, my friend. It's a tough trick to learn.

Finally, Brianna had a spectacular week. She and a small group of her friends, mostly sophomores, decided they wanted to try out for the choir's Spring Show. Miss Organization got together her group, made the song selection, and planned the rehearsals. She had auditions last week, but then found out the list of those who made it wouldn't come out until this week. She was all nerves for a week, until yesterday morning, when the list finally went up. They are so excited and proud of themselves (as am I), and are now in the process of costume design. The concert is in a week and a half, and I can't wait! To make it an even more exciting week, Bree took (and passed!) her driver's permit test. She is officially on the road to independence! We went down to DMV on Monday afternoon, and as soon as we found out she passed, we took a little celebratory shopping trip and had a mommy-daughter dinner, just the two of us. (I was going to take her shopping and out to dinner either way--either celebrate or console. I'm so happy it was the first!) By the way, more about DMV in another post....














Two additional side notes:

It looks like Doug's work at the construction site is wrapping up. This could mean big changes for us, as it might mean he'll have to switch to the Bakersfield site, which is two hours away. If that's the case, he'll probably just work down there all week, and only come home on the weekends, which would be a huge bummer. But it would definitely beat him not working at all, which is a situation a lot of people are having to deal with right now, so I'm grateful that it looks like even if the Fresno gig is over, the work is probably not.

Also, my ex's mother is quite sick, and in the hospital right now recovering from surgery. I'm really hoping she gets better soon, because otherwise, Mother's Day will be a tough one for him. Sending good wishes her way....

The Lovely Sound of Running Water

May 5, 2009

Last night, just before bed, Doug headed into the kitchen to begin making his lunch for the next day. I heard him yell, and something in the urgency of his voice made me jump up and run in there. What did I see? Water running from under the sink, out onto the floor, and soaking into the nearby carpet. Inexplicably, and without warning, some piece of the hoses or brackets or pipes gave up its last gasp and exploded. It was like something out of a cartoon: both of us just stood there for a few minutes, a little bit in shock, staring at the pipes and trying to figure out the origin of the leak, as Niagra falls continued to pour out onto my kitchen floor. (If it wasn't so comical-looking, it might have made me cry. I hate it when stuff like that happens!) Once we shook ourselves back to reality, I started yanking all the junk we have under the cupboards out onto the dry part of the kitchen floor, and Doug fiddled with the under-the-sink faucets until we were able to cut off the water supply.

Being now just a little after midnight, we did what anyone would. (By anyone, I mean probably just us.) We were both exhausted, so we decided we'd bury out heads in the sand, since the immediate problem had been solved. We went to bed. So today, after my after school parent meeting (with a senior student who has decided it's a good idea to stop turning in ANYTHING) and before the PTC Board Meeting tonight (Board election meeting tonight--mandatory attendance), I'll have to pick up the water-logged towels and wash them, Doug and I will have to figure out what part needs to be replaced, and I'll have to restock the cupboards with all the wet cleaning products I yanked out onto the kitchen floor. Jeez, you'd think today was Monday!

The Prom Speech

Today is the Prom at our high school, and I teach seniors. Every year I give a big 'prom speech' to all of my seniors in class on the day before the big event (and a similar, but modified one before Winter Formal and graduation). There are a few variations year to year, but the main message is always the same. Here's what I tell them:

I'm going to give you my prom speech, because I'm a mama, and you'll just have to humor me. I have my own kids, but you're my kids, too, so you'll just have to deal with me being a mama for a moment. There are three things I'd like to talk to you about.

The first one is, that I'll be chaperoning the dance. (This is almost always the case.) I specifically sign up for prom duty, because I like to see you all dressed up. I love to see all the beautiful dresses, and I love to see the guys all dressed up in their tuxes. You all look so grown up, such ladies and gentlemen! It's one of my favorite things to see. Please come by, find me! I can't wait to see you, meet your date, and take a few pictures. However, that being said, one of my least favorite things is seeing the dancing that goes on out on the dance floor. Having fun, or being close and romantic is one thing, but the 'freaking' on the dance floor? I don't need to see it! I don't need that image in my head. Simulated sex on the dance floor is not dancing! And it totally undoes the elegant sophisticated look you took all day cultivating as you were getting dressed up like young ladies and gentlemen. I know some of you are going to do it anyway, because you think that's the way you're supposed to dance, or you don't know any other way. If that's the case, and I have the unfortunate luck to have my duty on the dance floor, please do me the courtesy of coming by, introducing me to your date, and then moving to the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE DANCE FLOOR to dance.

The second part of the speech deals with a much more serious thing, which is the whole issue of drinking. There are a lot of you who think that because you're feeling all grown up and dressed up, and it's a festive time, that it's okay to drink. First of all, let me remind you that IT'S NOT LEGAL. But you know that, and some of you will choose to ignore that. So if you choose to make the first bad decision and drink on prom night, don't make a second bad decision to get behind the wheel of a car. When you are driving home from the prom, I will be, too, and I want to make it home alive. I have babies at home that want me to make it home alive. I want all of you to make it home alive and to be back here on Monday, safe and sound. I want you to make it to your graduation, which you have all worked so hard for.

This is not just about you drinking. If you are with someone who has been drinking, don't let them get behind the wheel. They might be mad at you, but that's okay. They'll get over it. Don't be the one who watches someone drive away, and then later finds out he spun out of control on the way home because he shouldn't have been driving. Decisions like that--one stupid decision--can irrevocably alter people's lives. Forever. Don't be that person. Don't let your friend be that person. Make good decisions. And if you make the first bad decision to drink, make a second good decision, and stay where you are, or have a designated driver. Call mom or dad to pick you up. Call ME to pick you up. I don't care if you call me a three o'clock in the morning. I would jump in the car and come get you to take you home, rather than have you driving out on the road, drunk. I am absolutely sincere about that.

The last word about drinking is please don't show up to the prom already drunk. I've had students who have been ejected within 15 minutes of their arrival because they had so obviously been drinking. This is supposed to be a fun night, and getting kicked out of the prom is not fun. Even really good kids sometimes have a lapse of judgment, but you don't want that kind of lapse in judgment to put to waste all the money and time you spent getting ready for this event. And what if you are the girlfriend whose date got caught, drunk? You are either stuck there to finish out the prom alone, or you have to go home. Even worse, students who get caught drunk at the prom will get expelled under Zero Tolerance. After all those years of hard work, after all that time invested, don't make a decision that could lead to you not walking graduation with all of your classmates when you are so close to the light at the end of the tunnel.

And finally, speaking of graduation, let's do the math, shall we? We are about five weeks away from the big night, the culmination of all your years of academic work. Prom night is a big night for a lot of kids. You're feeling grown-up, you're feeling you are on the verge becoming a fully independent young adult. And a lot of students feel that this is the perfect time to experiment with other 'grown-up' behaviors. All I'm going to say is, that five weeks down the line, right about graduation time, you don't want to discover that you've accidentally come away from the Prom with an extra souvenir, ladies--one that will be with you forever. Be careful. Make good choices.

And have a great time!

Donna Lutjens

www.msprimadonna67.blogspot.com