Wish Us Luck (And Good Health)

 January 3, 2021

Nearly ten months ago, our school shuttered its doors in the wake of the beginnings of the global pandemic that has gripped the world since.  California was aggressive early on in attempting to get things under control, and for awhile it did, in fact, seem as if we had 'flattened the curve'.  As weeks dragged into months, and people began to suffer ill effects of the shut down--stress, anxiety, financial burden--most of us wanted nothing more than to 'get back to normal'.  The thing is, much as we would like to just decide to make things the way they were before, we're not actually in control of that.  Although for a time it seemed like we were starting to gain the upper hand, the holidays rolled around, and many people, starved for human connection and family togetherness and traditions, decided to risk the spread of Covid.  After all, there were still lots of people who proclaimed proudly that they didn't even know anyone who knew anyone who had gotten Covid.  Theories abounded about whether or not it actually existed, or if it was simply another flu, nothing to worry about.  What harm could it do?  And then numbers started to spike again, and our hospital ICUs were stretched unimaginably thin.

Most schools, whether elementary, secondary, or post-secondary, have made the decision to remain online until the end of this school year.  There's just such a big risk of sending everyone back all at once, and certainly the possibility of having to shut down again when outbreaks occur undermines stability and consistency.  Our district, however, has determined that our students will be back this semester, despite the positivity rate being higher than it was when we shut down, higher than it was at the beginning of the school year.  And honestly, I understand that many parents are frustrated, and some teachers are too.  I mean, we got into education because we love working with our kids and developing the kinds of connections that we can make working day after day, face-to-face. Education via zoom is different, and it doesn't work for everyone, not to mention it's been a fast and furious learning curve for all involved.  There are kids who are struggling.  (Of course, in-person doesn't work for everyone either, but since that's the traditional educational system, we want to push those kids back into a system that doesn't work for them because that's the way school is 'supposed' to be.)  

So here we are--here I am--getting ready to walk back into the building where I have worked for the past 30 years, but have only stepped foot in perhaps 5 times in the past ten months.  Because I am a cancer survivor, and because I am the sole caretaker for my 92-year-old grandmother, I am one of a great many teachers who were granted permission to conduct our zoom classes from home this school year.  That ends tomorrow.  The return of our students has been delayed for two weeks due to a recommendation from the County Health Office, but all of us who had a remote work agreement must report to the building to teach second semester.  This has given me anxiety not just for me and my family, but for all the healthcare workers who are already exhausted and overworked, and for whom another spike will only mean an even greater strain on them.  Voicing my concern has caused people to call me selfish, to say I don't care about my students, or even to say I just feel like 'not working' while continuing to get paid.  I have had people tell me that because I worry about the ramifications of sending everyone back to school, that that somehow means I have no concern for those who have jobs where they are required to continue to work in the face-to-face world throughout this pandemic.  All of those accusations are absolutely untrue.  It's sad that our world has become so divisive that everything comes down to an either/or, us-versus-them proposition.  I can care about my health, my colleagues' health, my community, and my students all simultaneously.  (I'm great at multi-tasking like that.)

So tomorrow is the day.  I'll head into my classroom, keep my head low (difficult for a social butterfly like me), keep my distance, and keep my mask on.  When the kids come back in two weeks, I hope there are enough safety measures in place to keep us all healthy.  So far the biggest argument in bringing kids back to campus is that 'kids aren't spreading the virus'.  I can't help but wonder if that's because, you know, the kids haven't been in school to spread it to each other (or to their teachers, or older family members).  Time will tell.  Wish me luck.  All of us- your teacher friends, classified staff, and the students--could use your well-wishes.