What I Am Not Grateful For

January 16, 2020

There are a great many things in my life for which I am thankful.  I am a big believer in expressing thankfulness.  However, many times in my life I have heard people say they are thankful for particularly adverse times in their lives because those times shaped them into who they are or who they would become.  I am not one of those.  I will never say I was grateful for having gotten cancer, nor will I ever say that I am grateful for having someone I trusted with the whole of my being betray me and make me question my worth, my value, and even my trust in myself.  I will never say I am grateful for having had my heart crushed and my spirit demoralized, because I would never, ever wish any of those things upon anyone else for the 'growth potential'. Yes, I came out of those things stronger and wiser.  But no, I am not thankful I went through them.  I am thankful, instead, for my own resilience and positivity and fortitude that enabled me to persevere.  I am endlessly grateful for an incredible support system, including my children, my family, and my amazing tribe of friends-who-are-family, my rocks when I felt I could not gain my footing in shifting sands.  In such a place, in such circumtances, one does not thank the sands for being unstable; one is grateful instead for the rock, and for the ability to stand atop it rather than sinking.  I am in a beautiful place now and see peace and happiness in my future.  For my past, for my now, and for my future, I am grateful to the strength that is within me and the love of those who held me up until I could find my footing during those trying times.  I have no time or desire to thank the obstacles that tried to pull me down.